Stiles Stella Stilinski
by GoldenPetal13
Summary: Set after season 2, ignores any and all season 3, Stiles has ignored part of himself for so long and as he ends up abandoned by everyone he can't ignore it any longer, but maybe that's a good thing, oh and a certain creeper wolf keeps crawling through his window
1. Chapter 1

Set after season 2, ignores any and all season 3, Stiles has ignored part of himself for so long and as he ends up abandoned by everyone he can't ignore it any longer, but maybe that's a good thing, oh and a certain creeper wolf keeps crawling through his window

Rated M

Warnings: Angst, Trans!Stiles, BiGender, Two-Spirit, Stiles!Stella, Crossdressing (But not really), Gender Identity Issues, Mentions suicide,

Don't like don't read, though constructive criticism is always welcome (plus any reviews).

I own nothing, literally.

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**01 **

Parking up my jeep I drag myself from her and sling my bag over my shoulder, I stare up at my house and notice that dad's cruiser isn't there, no big surprise.

Letting myself in I don't bother putting on any of the lights and navigate through the house and up the stairs in the dark, maybe then I can pretend I'm not all alone.

In my room I do flick the lights on, and nothings changed, just like it never does, like it hasn't since the first month of my junior year and now tonight's the Winter Formal. I have no one to go with and no one would talk to me if I went stag.

Making sure my window is locked I pull the blind and fall back onto my bed.

I can't believe Scott's being such a dick over this, I refuse to apologise to Allison, it's not my fault her psychotic grandpa dragged me into their basement to beat the crap out of me, so I think it's unfair of them to expect me to be happy when I went over to hang out with them there, just because they've gotten back together and make out all the time doesn't mean I want to watch them stick their tongues down each other's throats, especially not in that house.

Sighing I roll over and wince as my bruises pull.

He's not spoken to me except to ask if I'm ready to apologise, so far I've said no, so that's that then.

I've also finally met someone who's a bigger dick than Jackson, Trent is a new kid and because of him I got kicked off of the lacrosse squad, he's the new bright star and he hates me. My bruises are courtesy of him and his two cronies who like slamming me into lockers.

Jackson and Lydia are sickeningly into each other and still rule the school through a mixture of being too pretty, fear, and ruthlessly climbing to the top of the social pile.

Derek and his puppies are all avoiding me because I'm part of Scott's pack, which is weird because I've been kicked out of his pack, except Derek's trust issues have him thinking it's all a trick.

I wish it was a trick.

But at least it means I don't have to be around Peter and have him stare at me in that creepy way, or have him send me compliments and mention how he 'likes me'.

Getting up I pace downstairs and into the kitchen, I dig around for some food, I don't bother cooking, I hate cooking for one. Dad won't be back until stupid o'clock and then he'll roll back out at ass o'clock in the morning. It's his way of dealing with me since all the crap from last school year. We're getting around it by him ignoring me.

I can't find anything I really want to eat and my stomach is in knots so I don't bother eating.

Collapsing in the living room I channel surf and we have what feels like a trillion channels and nothing on any of them. The radio's a bust too, the local station keeps harping on about the dance tonight.

Stuck with my own thoughts I know the lacrosse team has been let off practice this afternoon, which only reminds me that once I'd lost lacrosse I tried out every single club in the damn high school, I'd even broken down and tried chemistry club with Mr Harris, and the exploding incident has only cemented his hatred of me. I never lasted longer than a week in any of them before I was shown the door. I'm going down as the most disliked student in the history of Beacon Hills.

Turning off the radio the silence becomes oppressive. Because I can't hide from myself so easily.

In the quiet, in the dark, alone, I have that thought again, the one I try to pretend doesn't exist, the part of me I try and deny is even there. When Scott was around I could ignore it, I could drown it out with Stiles, I could be so busy being Stiles, being male, being masculine that it was only a whisper. But right now the whisper is really loud, the part of me that is female, feminine and liked Lydia because of the pretty things she wore is shouting for attention.

I last a whole five seconds and then I'm locking up the house, dad won't be back until late and there is no one else in my pathetic empty life. I check every lock, then I steal upstairs and check all the windows and locks. Every curtain is pulled and then I go for a shower, a long shower, afterwards I use the unscented body lotion, and with werewolves around I make sure its extra unscented, I can't let a stray sniff betray me, they'd never understand.

When the lotion is rubbed in and my skin feels softer, I wrap a towel around my waist and sneak to my room, rummaging in my closet I take the bag out, and I grab a coat hanger then I sneak back locking the bathroom door behind me.

The bathroom is the only place with a decent mirror in it.

With trembling hands I reverently and gently take the dress and panties from the bag and wince when I see the creases on the dress. Its a simple cream dress with a cream bow that does up around the middle. I got it three towns over and in a sale, the assistants gave me a weird look but seemed to believe me when I said it was for my girlfriend, and I asked if I could have a receipt in case she didn't like it and I had to return it.

The plain cotton cream panties were harder to get my hands on without my dad finding out, but I did it.

Slipping the panties on I slide them up my far too hairy legs, it's moments like this I wish I had Jackson's blond hair, then my legs wouldn't show so much. Tucking my dick into the panties I'm unhappy with the bulge, I'm male most of the time so getting rid of it isn't an option, I'm going to have to learn how to do it properly so it doesn't show.

Unzipping the back of the dress I hook the coat hanger onto the zip and then step into the material puddled on the floor, shimmying it up and over my hips I put my arms in the thick shoulder straps, then I awkwardly twist about to grab the coat hanger and I can do the dress up, a handy tip I found on the internet.

Taking the coat hanger off again, I fiddle with the dress until it's sitting just right and the bow is tied around my waist. Now I can breathe out a much softer sigh.

I know I'm me, I'm Stiles, all male, but I'm also Stella all at the same time and I'm female. I'm much more Stiles than I am Stella, and traits that seem feminine or masculine are all part of me in one big package with no dividing line. But lately I've needed to let this part of me out more, Stella still has ADHD, is clumsy and a spaz, but when I'm me and I'm letting the girl me out I feel delicate and desirable, I can watch chick flicks without worrying about my man card being revoked and ripped up in front of me, I can embrace the quieter, gentler, softer side of me and revel in it.

Locked away in the safety and privacy of my home I can forget all about school, all about the loneliness, all about the supernatural and just let it all go, just be me and the freedom to be me makes me smile and start to hum, I feel like cooking now, I'll probably batch cook and freeze the results, put the laundry in piles, and I'll watch TV and do homework.

Smoothing my hands down the dress I know this simple garment is a god send for me, I'm thinking of taking extra classes, anything to graduate early and escape from Beacon Hills, dad'll be happier when I'm no longer reminding him of what a disappointment I am, he'll be home more because I won't be, and no one else here wants me.

No.

I refuse to be negative when I'm wearing my pretty dress. I check myself out in the mirror and its not quite right, my dick luckily doesn't show and the dress isn't tight, I don't like tight on me, I like looser longer dresses, the sweet dresses because the part of me that's Stella is sweet, and nice, and polite, all the things that Stiles left behind after mom died.

Twirling I regret my dress doesn't flair out and float but it's my first dress and I love it. I don't cup my chest aware of the boobs that aren't there, I'm looking into getting fake ones I can put in a bra, and god knows how I'll get the right bra or the fakes bits to put in it but I'm working on it.

My feet are bare and I want to put them in stockings, in tights, to put sandals and boots on my feet. Nothing with too high a heel or I'll kill myself with my clumsiness.

In the mirror I see my normal short hair, I've grown it out a little, but I want long hair sometimes, long and straight, or long with a wave in it, I want to put it up in ponytails, or thread hair accessories in it. The rest of the time I want it short like this.

I also want hats to wear, hats with those big floppy wide brims, and maybe in summer I can have bonnets that do up under my chin.

I'm also exceedingly aware that my idea of me as a girl is kinda outdated, but I want to indulge so badly, nearly all the women that have been in my life have been these amazing strong powerful individuals, but soft and feminine too, and I want to be that and male me all at the same time.

I'm fairly sure it makes me a bigger freak than being a werewolf ever could. I daren't tell anyone about it, about me.

I don't understand me, how can I expect anyone else to understand and accept me?

Summoning positive thoughts about leaving Beacon Hills, of having my own apartment and a few pretty dresses like this, I daydream about being able to wear what I want when I want, of being a pretty girl and a great guy and just being me.

Picking up the bag and hanger, I put the towel on the rail and humming a tune I dance into the hall and then into my room, I shiver as the colder night air flows over my arms, I'll close the window in a minute, I want to twirl first, to dance like I'm graceful and like my dress flairs out like they do on TV.

Stopping in mid twirl I stare at my open window in horror and get to see a stunned Peter Hale sitting on my computer chair staring back at me, I've never seen him with his jaw dropped open like that, it's slightly satisfying, in a frightening way.

I may squeak in surprise and I try to recover before he can, "Mr Hale!" Oh my god, my Stella side is showing, I think and talk a little differently even though I'm the same person, panicking I point to my open bedroom window, "Please leave!"

"Stiles?" His voice is strained and squeaky too. "Stiles is that you?"

"Yes," I cross my arms defensively, "Now leave, you know where the window is situated."

Except he doesn't leave instead he moves so fast he has me backed against my now closed bedroom door before I can say anything and then he starts to sniff me, "You smell like Stiles."

"That's because I am Stiles," I retaliate and then he stiffens.

"Lie, you just lied," blue eyes catch hold of mine and change to glowing blue eyes, "Who are you?" He snarls it and his teeth are growing.

Oh my god.

How do these things happen to me?

"I am Stiles, but I'm also Stella," I admit because I don't want my throat ripped out because of a mistake on my gender, which I still don't know, because am I male or female? Or both? Or neither?

"Stella?" He studies me and takes a step back as I lean against the door and let it hold me up, my knees are shaking so hard right now, he scares the shit out of me on an ordinary day, but when he's being extra scary, like now for example I just want to run away from him and never come back.

"Yes," I hiss like he's the slow one, "I'm still male but I'm female too, at the same time, it's easier to think of it as Stiles and Stella, the same person at the same time in the same body, but whether I'm more Stiles or Stella is fluid and changes," I don't know how else to explain it to him.

He cocks his head to one side, "And right now you're more Stella," he guesses and I nod waiting for him to laugh at me and make fun of me, "Hmm, then I apologise for manhandling a lady and for breaking into your boudoir without permission," he takes more steps back from me and I find my hand in his as he lifts it up to press a kiss to my knuckles.

"Mr Hale!" I try and pull my hand from his but he smiles wolfishly at me and tugs on my hand to draw me forward.

"Oh my dear Miss Stilinski," I ignore the way my heart thumps when he simply acknowledges me as female, "I just have a few questions for you first, and then I promise to leave and you can continue your evening unhindered by my uninvited presence," he says it calmly, and I can't hear the mocking or the judgement in his voice, so I let him lead me over to the foot of my bed, and I sit as gracefully as I can, I even cross my ankles, which he notices and nods at.

He sits back down at my desk, "I humbly request a copy of the research you've done on the new creature that is trespassing in Beacon Hills," Peter's being polite and he has that urbane nice smile in place.

Creature?

There's a new creature?

"I'm sorry Mr Hale, but I know nothing about any creature, Scott doesn't talk to me anymore, what creature are we talking about?" No one tells me anything, I'm so out of the loop I don't even know if there are any bodies, "Has it killed yet?" Oh god, what if dad is out there right now and he gets hurt because I didn't know about it and it'll be all my fault, "My father is at work right now, is he hunting it too?"

"Please Miss Stilinski," he raises his hands for me to calm down, "There are no dead bodies, yet, we are doing what we can to minimise any loss of life, we were under the mistaken assumption Scott would have at least shared this with you."

I shake my head, "No, he's not talking to me at all, though he's friendly with Jackson and Lydia, perhaps Lydia knows something? She has a fully translated copy of the Bestiary, while I only have a partially translated copy."

He snorts, "I think Miss Martin would happily carve out my heart and eat it before handing me that copy," and I can totally see that happening. "Though even a partial translation is better than nothing."

I don't want to give it to him, and this could be a trick, this is Peter Hale master manipulator after all. But what if it could save my dad? And I'm apparently pathetic enough to want to thank him for accepting me as I am and not making fun of me.

"Very well," I agree to give it to him, "But I ask that you watch out for my father."

"I will where I can," he hedges and I suppose that's more than I had. I go over to my laundry basket and turn it upside down, right at the bottom I added a layer and suck to it is the flash drive with a copy of the Bestiary on it. The smell of my laundry would have protected it from noses that smell too well.

"Here Mr Hale," I walk over to him aware that I move differently when I'm Stella.

"Peter, please," he takes the drive from me and his hand lingers on mine, as he rises to his feet, "Thank you for your help Miss Stilinski."

I guess it's stupid for him to keep calling me by my surname but I do get a thrill from him calling me 'Miss', of his acceptance of me, as upset as I am that there's some kinda thing loose in Beacon Hills, there's a tiny seed of hope that maybe I'm not so freaky for being me after all.

"Please call me Stella, or Stiles," I concede, and I know I speak archaically but I love to talk anyway and I love period dramas, Pride and Prejudice is one of my favourites, it's something about the way they speak that I love.

"Perhaps I should simply call you angel, for are you not fairer than a heavenly being?" Oh my god he's flirting with me and I tug my hand from his and I blush, damn it, I am not interested in an insane zombie werewolf who's got a proven track record of being a psycho. Anyway all Hales can use charm to get what they want I'm not falling for that trick.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Mr Hale," he pulls a face at me calling him that so I add, "Peter," he nods and smiles at me, "I assure you I'm just a plain mortal human, and this human wishes you well in tracking down whatever it is and encouraging it to leave forthwith." Oh my god I just spoke a sentence with 'forthwith' in it out loud.

He chuckles and his blue eyes twinkle at me, "Oh my lady, I would happily teach the creature the error of its ways and I know with your favour I could best it easily," he smirks and breaks into more modern speech when he adds, "Well, after I've researched it and found it's weakness, there's no need to rush headlong into danger after all."

I roll my eyes at him and he laughs again, he seems so harmless when he wants to, but I know he's extremely dangerous and I wait for him to leave, which he actually does, he even gives me a little bow, "Fair thee well Stella, I do hope you have a most pleasurable evening and that I haven't interrupted you too much."

"I believe I'll recover," I tell him dryly, "May your evening be fruitful and I hope you find the answers you seek Peter."

He's backing up to the window and I'm doubley hopeful that I'm going to get out of this intact, that he won't say anything about me also being a girl, or that he's seen me in a dress that I am all too aware doesn't fit me the way it should.

And then he stiffens and says, "Derek…"

Oh crap.

My eyes swing from him to the open window and I reach behind me and yank the zipper down, there's a tearing sound but I'm so busy struggling out of the dress and throwing it to one side to hide it that I don't inspect the damage, I'm sure I can sew it up though, I'm sure I can fix it, it can't be that hard to sew things.

I can't let Derek see this, he wouldn't understand, he'd get it wrong, he'll mock me, he hates me so he'll tell everyone my secret, and they'll judge me, but worst of all they'll judge my dad and he could lose his job again because of me.

Grabbing the first pair of pants I find, I drag them on and I can see Peter is valiantly trying to defend my window from Derek, he's standing in the way and blocking the view, "Nephew, I have a copy of the Argent's Bestiary, we can go now, it should have more information for me…"

I've got a t-shirt part way on when Peter is forcefully thrown back a good five feet and he goes crashing down onto my floor as a very annoyed Derek Hale finishes climbing in my window, "I want to know what the Argents and Scott are planning."

"Scott isn't talking to Stiles," Peter stays on the floor and bares his throat, "You know what the children have said, Scott's angry with his friend, and you've heard the stories of how Stiles has tried out every club in high school. We'll have to ask Scott what he knows…"

That doesn't go down well because Derek is advancing on me and I squeak in a useless way, and instead of standing my ground, near my dress, I try to flee, to lead him away from the dress. It is a dumb idea, it is a really dumb idea.

I barely reach my closed door when I'm grabbed and slammed into my wall, rough hands hold me and then my back meets my wall as Derek leans into my face, his eyes are red, his teeth are longer than they should be, "Stiles," he growls my name into my face.

Only I'm Stiles, but I'm not Stiles right now, I'm far more Stella than I am Stiles. Stiles would talk his way out of this, he'd babble but my Stella side is quieter and I struggle to make the switch back, except Derek isn't giving me a chance and its so new to me to let that part out I don't know how to put it back quickly.

I'm shoved into the wall again and I hiss as it catches the bruises I've already gotten courtesy of Trent and co. "Stiles," Derek is building himself up to something and knowing him it could be anything. I stare into his eyes and I don't know what to say to him, or what to do to make him go away and not look at my dress.

Then he leans forward and sniffs me, his nose wrinkles, "What is that smell? Are you wearing lotion?" He frowns at me and sniffs again, then he sniffs the air and starts to turn around, "Its somewhere else in the room too…"

Damn it that stuff was supposed to be unscented.

Oh god he can smell the unscented lotion on the dress, the only thing I can think off is to wiggle in his grip to distract him and it works as he slams me back a third time, it seems to help him focus because he shakes his head and then menaces me, "Tell me what Scott and the Argents are planning, what do they know Stiles, tell me," he practically yells in my face and dog breath is not pleasant.

"Derek," Peter's crouching on the floor, "You're hurting Stiles, you're frightening Stiles…"

"Good," and Derek looms a bit more over me. I get shaken in his grasp, "Maybe it'll loosen his tongue and he'll stop this ridiculous game of pretending he and Scott are broken up," only its not a game, "So Stiles, lets try this again, tell me what you know."

I might be frightened of him but I refuse to back down to him and I shove my hands uselessly against his chest, "I don't know anything about their plans, the first I knew anything about a possible creature was when Peter decided to turn up uninvited in my room. I've given him a copy of the Bestiary, it's only partially translated but it should help."

"Really," Derek's eyes are red again, that's not usually a good sign, "So you expect me to believe that Scott just cut you out of his life like you mean nothing to him," and that hurts because its true, Scott has done that. "You expect me to believe that Scott hasn't come running so that you can do some emergency research for him," he snorts, "I really don't believe you Stiles, we've bumped into them and they've clearly done their research."

Lydia.

They have Lydia.

"And might I remind you Mr Hale, that they also have access to Miss Martin, and I cannot begin to heap enough praises on her for her intelligence and brilliance, perhaps you should be asking her what her research is," I point out and he blinks at me.

"Miss Martin?" His voice is soft. Then he straightens his shoulders, "So she's smarter than you are? Better than you are?" And that strikes several raw nerves.

"Yes," I admit and when his hands let me go I breathe out and get hopeful that he's going to leave.

"Fine," he smirks at me and I breathe out again, he's going to leave, I'm safe, and even he wouldn't dare manhandle Lydia, she'd castrate him, she is one scary ice cold lady. "But you're hiding something from me," and my eyes glance at the dress guilty.

I realise my slip the moment he spins around and then he's over by the dress and lifting it up, "No," I whimper and move forward a step ready to take on the big bad Alpha for my dress. It's my first dress, it's special, it's perfect, I don't care that it doesn't fit right, its mine, it makes me feel like a girl.

He sniffs it, "The same lotion," he smiles that smile and I brace myself for the worst, "Do you wear dresses in your spare time Stiles?" He's mocking me, he's laughing at me, he's judging me.

"Derek!" Peter's frozen on his knees and is glaring at his nephew, "Enough, we have information we can use, we should leave."

My eyes are glued to Derek's hands, the hands that are growing claws and those claws pierce the material of the dress and I whimper again, he lifts the dress up towards his face, "Stiles, you'd better not be lying to me, or…" and I can only watch as he shreds my dress with his claws. The sound is horrifying the fabric screaming under those razor sharp knives. Little strips of cream cloth flutter to the ground and my own legs give out as I cry out at what he's done.

"No, no, my dress," I crawl forward on all fours to snatch up the pieces of my dress, "No, no, no, please, no," my face is wet as I clutch the tattered remains of that beautiful pretty dress that made me feel more whole than I have done for years.

Dark jeans and boots come into view and then Derek's saying, "I think you need to get out more Stiles, locking yourself inside to play dress up with women's clothing is just weird."

"Derek!" Peter's voice is cold and hard, "Leave Stiles alone."

"Fine, now we have the Bestiary its not like we have a use for him anymore, we can deal with the problem without him getting in the way, I never did trust him," I flinch at that, "And he's never been normal."

I go completely numb and sit there staring at the broken pieces of me on the floor, I wait for the click of my window and the chill wind stops blowing in my room. Numb I stand and go to get a brush. I collect all the pieces of my dress and put them in the bag I used to keep it in.

Numb I walk to the bathroom and strip down, I put the panties in the bag too. Then I tie it up in a knot. Stepping into the shower I turn it on and when the water hits my face I thaw out and I'm no longer numb as I scream in pain.

I fall to the floor of the bath and curl up to rock myself, scream and sob. There's no one to hear me, no one to comfort me, no one to care, I'm all alone, and I'm a freak, a weird freak, who only gets in the way.

I'm not sure how long I stay there but the water goes cold and I'm shivering from it when I turn off the water. I dry myself off and then I pull on the pants and t-shirt from earlier. Going downstairs I walk across the garden and dump the bag with my ruined dress and the panties in the trash.

Back inside the house I lock up, again, and go to my room, I draw the blind down and then I turn the light off. Curling up on top of my covers I stare blankly at the blinds and wait for morning.

I hear dad come home, I hear him complain about the lack of hot water and I hear him curse my name. I hear him leave at five o'clock and I wait for my alarm to go off.

I get up and put socks on, get my bag ready for school and I cram a slice of bread in my mouth to have with my Adderall, because I'm a medicated freak who's brain doesn't work properly, that must be part of my problem, part of why I'm so wrong.

I push down the part of me that's female and I drive to school. It's not until I'm climbing out of my jeep that I spot Derek across the parking lot, he's standing with Isaac and he looks my way.

Jerking my head away I flush with shame, I'm so wrong, unnatural, I know its okay for girls to wear boys' clothes, but not the other way around, it doesn't matter than I'm weird and think I might be part girl, it only matters that I'm not normal, that I'm defective and wrong.

Wrapping my arms around my middle my feet drag as I walk into school and I try and avoid everyone, it won't take long for them to find out about me, to realise just how much of a freak I am, Derek will tell his Betas and then they'll tell the school, and then dad will find out and he'll hate me forever, he might even lose his job because of this.

Because of me.

Some son I turned out to be, I bet he wishes I were dead, I bet he wishes I'd never been born, I know I do.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

No hate on Scott or Derek please, I've written this a particular way for a reason.


	2. Chapter 2

See Chapter 1 for warnings. And Author's Note at the bottom.

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**02 **

It's a few days before Christmas and I'm pushing the shopping cart around and trying to dodge everyone else in the damn store. I need to finish getting the vegetables for the next week and I've stopped in the craft section too, I have a project for dad's Christmas present.

I'm tense as hell, yesterday was the last day of school for this year and no one's said anything, yet. I feel like Derek's holding this over my head and I'm having trouble eating so I have to force myself to keep food down.

The part of me that's Stella is on lockdown, I'm doing my best to keep her, me, under wraps, to not give anything away, to hide in plain sight as just a guy.

School is pile of crap so I'm glad it's over for a few weeks, and I've finally gotten signed up for the extra courses, dad has signed off for them so I can begin fast tracking out of Beacon Hills and away from everything.

My life now consists of schoolwork and I've been practicing lacrosse in the back garden and going for long runs. Contact sports are seen as male, which is stupid, have those idiots out there seen women in contact sports? I'm not dumb enough to take them on; they'd slaughter me. But it gives me something to hide behind and I like lacrosse, even though I'm not on the team but I can pretend I'm staying fit in case I get back on the team.

Also if I can keep food down and stay relatively fit I'll appear more normal, I can pass undetected a bit more easily, people's eyes will slide over me so I can stay safe, my dad can stay safe and I can stop destroying his life.

Speaking of dad, I wander down one aisle and look at socks, his are getting extra holey, he needs some new ones. I head for the straightforward black cotton ones and grab a couple of packs in his size, when something catches my eye.

An employee is hanging up some silk scarves on the other side of the aisle with the other women's things, they're in soft pastel shades, a few of them look like they have flower patterns on them and I really want to be able to go over there and browse, to touch the soft fabric and then buy one or more so I can take them home and wear them.

To have that silky smoothness around my neck, to know when I looked in a mirror one of them would be nestled around me, that I'd be pretty too.

Maybe one day I could have a dress too, one that matched the scarf and I could float around the house, I could twirl, and…

A throat clears near me and Derek's voice barks, "Stiles! Are you even paying attention to me?"

"D…D…Derek!" I flail a bit and nearly trip over to land on my ass but save myself by grabbing onto the cart and I nearly ram a few other shoppers, I have to wave and apologise as they all glare at me. Seeing the bad tempered leather clad werewolf behind me I turn to flee.

A hand lands on my shoulder holding me in place, "Stiles," he's stepped up to me and I try to shake his hand off, he moves closer and we're almost the same height so he doesn't have to stoop to murmur in my ear, "Were you looking at the scarves?" My blood runs cold at being caught by him again, of being a freak when I'm trying so hard not to be. "Did you want to get one for yourself?" His voice isn't mocking, it's very soft, gentle, kind even, but my stomach heaves anyway, he already hates me, he already thinks I'm a freak, that I'm not normal, that I'm wrong.

"No," my voice squeaks, and there is no way he could miss my blatant lie, "Why would you think that?" I give a nervous laugh, oh god, don't let him blurt it out in public, I yank my shoulder out from under him and wince at the pain, just one more bruise to add to my collection. "I only get things like that for Lydia, sweet wonderful Lydia, who's a girl," and then I turn tail and run. Well walk really quickly and I head straight for a checkout. I glance back once to make sure he's not following me and he's just standing there looking confused and sad.

Please let me have gotten everything, I really need to leave right now.

I know my heart is thundering in my chest, but I hold it together and escape from the store, I drive home, under the speed limit, and put all the groceries away.

Shoving the thought of the Alpha out of my head I calm myself down and then smile because I'm going to do my project.

Taking over the kitchen table I spread out my project, it's a photo album for my dad, I've dug out all the old photos, ones of him and mom, ones of him and mom and me, and ones of him and Mrs McCall, Scott and me. Happy memories of before everything went to shit, of before I had to keep lying to him to keep him safe or Scott safe, when things were simpler and I could ignore my girl side, so basically when I wasn't wrong and unnatural.

When I was just a boy, well mostly a boy, because Stella was there even then.

And this project is fun to do, I've spent a few evenings going through the photos and they made me smile, I remember nearly all of them. I'm not using the original photos, I've scanned them and cropped them and printed out the ones I want to use.

If I'm home invaded by a grumpy werewolf the only thing he's going to see is me doing a home made present for my dad, in strong manly primary colours, I have avoided all glitter and stickers, all those little bits that I wanted to add but I wasn't sure if it was too girly.

Picking up my list I begin the slow methodical pasting and gluing in of pictures in the order I've already decided. I cut out labels and stick myself to the damn photo album way too many times and I may end up with paper stuck to me but I'm happy with the results and flick through the finished album, this has to work, dad's going to remember all the good things and we're going to mend all our fences.

Now I'm not involved in any werewolf shenanigans, because none of them want me, I don't have to lie to him anymore, I'm not getting into trouble, I'm hiding Stella with all my might, and we can get back on track.

Tiding up I wrap up his present and add it to the earlier store bought one.

Things are going to get better, and this time I won't fuck it up, this time I won't let anything go wrong.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

Hi,

Thank you all so much for the comments/reviews. I really hope I can handle this story the way it deserves and do it justice. I'm going to be updating every Sunday and chapters will be long or short depending on the chapter and how it feels it should be.

Which leads me to the fun moment of learning my research wasn't that wrong, any gender issues really are personal and reliant on how the individual 'feels', oh god this is going to be hard to do, I keep running into the problem of how Stiles is male but Stella is female and what the difference is of being male or female and I can't really find one. It really is whether you are male or female and rulebooks of behaviour be dammed.

Oh well, at least I know I'm getting the angst portion right if I've made some of you sad, from the writer's point of view I've patted myself on the back for a job well done, from a human being's point of view I just wanna snuggle Stiles/Stella and smack a bunch of people up the back of the head.

Okay finished rambling now.


	3. Chapter 3

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**03 **

Bounding down the stairs early on Christmas Morning I grin to myself when I see the two presents I left out for dad are missing from the kitchen table. Awesome, he opened them before he left for work.

Strangely I can't see anything for me on the table, he's probably hidden it so he can give it to me when he gets back from work.

Rushing back up the stairs I hurry through my shower and pull on some clothes, then I peel all the veg and start cooking the small turkey, I'll have it ready for him when he gets home at lunch, he always stops in at lunch time on Christmas Day, all the Deputies do that, it's Traditional.

And today is a brand new start for us.

He's taken my peace offering and I'm not going to screw it up, I'm going to be the kind of son he can be proud of, that he can depend on, I'm going to rock his world in all the right ways.

Cleaning up the house I make it more than presentable and then I run up stairs to get changed, a nice pair of pants, a shirt and a tie, it's a big deal today after all, I then bounce downstairs and check the clock, he'll be home in ten minutes, just in time for dinner.

I dish it up on the dot and sit down at my place setting waiting for him to walk in. My knees jingle up and down as I fight to sit still. He's late and my mind is conjuring up images of him in an accident and I end up pacing.

Then I check my phone.

Nothing.

When he's twenty minutes late I panic and phone dispatch, its one of the newbies, "Hey this is Stiles, I was wondering where dad is right now?"

"He's at his Traditional Christmas Dinner," she does not sound friendly and I'm about to point out that he's not here, so can somebody please check up on him, when she adds, "At the McCall house, which you would know if you listened to your daddy instead of being a tearaway, you know the house he eats at every other Sunday, that Scott McCall is a good son to his mom," and then she hangs up on me.

Stunned I stand there and sway.

I don't know how to process this.

The smell of food nearly makes me puke, and I put the phone down to pick up the plates of useless food, I carry them to the kitchen, and put my foot on the peddle to open up the bin when I notice the bright shiny wrapping paper sitting in the trash, the same bright shiny wrapping paper that I put around dad's presents.

And even from this angle I can tell they've not been opened.

Carefully I put the plates down on the counter, then I reach into the bin to pull the presents out. The still wrapped presents. The presents my dad didn't want from me.

But then why would he want anything from me?

All I ever do is give him trouble or grief, I mess up so often, I'm a bad son to him, and I've finally destroyed any hope of us reconciling. To the point that he's spending time at the McCall's, that he's avoiding his own house to get away from me, that even the newbies at the Station know who I am and how pointless I am.

I put the gifts in the trash, then I put the wasted food on top, I'll put the trash out tonight before it stinks up the house.

Dazed I go and get changed then I make myself practice lacrosse for hours, I run to the point that I vomit, so I run some more. I shower and dress and then I do more homework, my plan to graduate early needs to happen sooner rather than later. The sooner I leave the better for everyone.

And that's how I spend the holidays, working out with my skinny useless fragile human body, completing assignment after assignment, making notes, revising, studying and then collapsing into bed at the end of the day.

I don't see dad, I don't push to see dad, he doesn't want to see me, he's made that very clear.

On the last day before school I notice one of the picture frames in the living room is face down. It's the one we got when we did a dumb fishing competition together, the frame reads 'No#1 Son' and it has a gap toothed me and a proud beaming dad as I hold up a tiny minnow thing you can barely see it was that small.

On impulse I take the picture and scan it in, I dick around with manipulating the photo and we have one of Scott that young, I impose Scott on the image over the picture of me and I go off to find a picture of a bigger fish on Google, he'd have found a good fish instead of the shit one I did.

Printing out the new improved photo I put it in the frame and put the picture frame back face down where I found it, I smile thinking of the surprise dad can have when he sees it, he likes Scott, he trusts Scott, he prefers Scott to me.

Another picture catches my eye and it's my mom long before she got sick, she's so pretty, she has these warm brown eyes like honey, everyone liked her eyes, her long red hair has these natural waves in it, she had moles and freckles everywhere, dad said he could trace constellations on her skin and it always made her laugh.

She had a lovely laugh.

People always laughed with her, they were always happy to see her, she was so warm and adored, at her funeral the whole town practically turned up to see her, we didn't have to cook for months because of all the casseroles.

She should never have died, she should be here right now, she should be eating Christmas Dinners with my dad and laughing over the lame jokes in the crackers, instead she died, and I didn't.

It should have been me.

Not her.

She's perfect.

It gives me an idea and I gather up all the photo frames with me in them. It takes the rest of the day but I edit myself out of all of them, where I can I put Scott into them and then I put them back.

And it's like I don't exist, like I'm not part of this family, which I'm not, I can't be, I'm the odd one out, and when I'm gone dad can have Scott, he can have the son he's always deserved to have.

I pack my school bag for the morning, I have school again.

Now all I have to do is survive it until I can graduate.

I go to bed at a reasonable time and lay there listening to the silence, it's something I'm going to have to get used to when I leave and I'm officially on my own for the rest of my life.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

No hate on Sherriff Stilinski either…


	4. Chapter 4

See Chapter 1 for warnings.

Well since you all asked so nicely I'm going to try and updated twice a week, on a Sunday and a Wednesday, enjoy, and thank you for all of your encouraging comments and reviews, plus any help is greatly appreciated.

Also Coach Finstock…

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**04 **

School is school and I trudge from lesson to lesson and struggle to concentrate as I make notes. I try not to fidget, to call attention to myself, I try to answer the questions they've asked and not invent new ones because the tangents are more interesting.

And I try not to punch Scott in the face for stealing my dad, except I've got nobody to blame but myself for losing dad, I'm the one that's born wrong, not Scott and not dad.

The school is buzzing about the last lacrosse game, it was a friendly and I zone out, I don't need to know how we won and I hide in the library to avoid it all.

Which is where Coach Finstock finds me.

"Bilinski!" He's shockingly loud in the library and the librarian 'shhs' him, "Right, right, sorry, sorry," his whisper is amusingly loud and he sits in the seat next to mine. "Bilinski," he's being nice and I wonder what I did wrong on my essay, I turned in all my homework this morning, most of the teachers stared at me funny, but it's all out of the way and I have time to work on my other assignments for my extra courses.

I don't say anything and wait for him to say what he came to say, he frowns, "Err, so I'm sure you heard the result from the game," he's nervous for some reason.

"No," I'm assuming we won, we have four werewolves on the team, and it was against the worst team in the league, we couldn't have lost.

"Oh," he rubs his chin, "Well we kinda lost," and then he mentions the score.

"Did we not turn up?" Is all I can think of, because we lost so horrifically, "Or was Danny sick or something?" Danny is an awesome goalie.

"Err, no," he fidgets, "But I have a solution, you're back on the team," he grins widely as I stare at him, the grin shrinks, "Um, Bilinski, did you not hear me? You're on the team," he says it louder and gets lots of 'shh' hissed at him, "Yeah, library, sorry."

I have no idea why he wants me on the team, unless it's to blame me for the team's failure, I mean I'm a failure as a son and as a boy why not on the field too? "Okay, when's practice?" I ask and wonder how I'm going to fit this into my schedule, though maybe this can replace the work outs I've been doing, and being on an athletics team will look good on college applications, I'll look more normal.

"That's it? No big whoop of joy, no little victory dance?" He's frowning harder, "Bilinski are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just have a lot of homework," and I turn back to my notes, he doesn't move so I look back, "Was there something else?"

He blinks, "Err, no, no, that's all and first practice for you is tomorrow."

"Okay, I'll be there," I nod and let myself get sucked into sucrose over fructose and the biological implications of each type of sugar on our bodies.

I've rejigged my schedule, factoring in time spent at lacrosse practice and matches, I'll take out the same corresponding time I was working out, it still leaves me with a tougher work out than Coach gives us and I have time to work on my homework and extra courses.

I'm also going to try to stagger my finals where I can so the pressure of the exams doesn't destroy me, I need to do well in my exams not crash and burn.

Walking into the boys' locker room I ignore everyone around me, I get changed as Coach is yelling at someone, I think it's Trent. Pads on I double-check my stick and I'm one of the first out onto the field for warm ups. I think Coach must believe I'm eager to be back on the team, he couldn't be more wrong, I only want to be able to put this on my college applications so I can leave Beacon Hills.

During tackle practice I'm normally thrown to the ground, but this time I refuse to go down and I ram my opponents, this is a rough contact sport and I can totally bring it, the fact that I'm having to embrace numbness to do it doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that no one realises how much of a freak I am.

Whenever I've played before I was here for fun, to play the game, it was a bit about winning but a lot about taking part. I was the bench warmer, I could cheer as an Olympic Sport, sure I wanted on First String but I was going to do it on my terms and when I played in the Championship game I won the game, somehow, but I still won it, it still totally counts.

All through practice I struggle with my ADHD, I have to focus on what I'm doing, to think of every strategy and go for any and all weaknesses that my so called team mates show me. I've never been ruthless enough to do it in the past, but I can do it now.

It's an interesting side effect of bottling up Stella, because I'm technically male and female, I can't suppress her without suppressing Stiles too. That numbness I felt when Derek said those words, after mutilating my beautiful dress, is coming in handy, as I use it to block out all the things I can't cope with, which is most of my life, I'm so stuck between being male and female that I need something to help me.

"See that's what I'm talking about," Coach is pointing at me for some reason, "Now warm down and hit the showers, we are redoing the game tomorrow, they've agreed to another friendly, and I want you at your best."

The guys groan and I walk away when I've completed my warm downs, I have the showers to go to. It doesn't take long. But sitting on the benches waiting is taking too long so I have my math book out, I'll use the time as constructively as possible. It's annoying having to do this here, there are so many sounds, so many distractions and I lose focus far too often for my liking.

"Right!" Coach is yelling again, he yells too much. "Gather round kiddies, time to tell you who's on First String," as he goes through the normal names I pack my math book up and then sit there as quietly as possible, I'll just be warming up the bench again, and then he says, "And lastly on First String we have…" He does a very annoying pause, "Bilinski!" He does this weird arm thing and points to me.

I stare at him and he stares back.

"Err, Bilisnki, you do realise I just made you First String right?" He asks bewildered and I nod because yes he's made me First String and that will look even better on my college application. "So you're not going to do a victory dance?" He waves his hands around, "No big whoops and yells and frankly some pretty girly screaming?"

"No," I wrap the numbness tighter around me, it's not good if he's noticed anything girly about me, "I'm grateful for the opportunity to represent my school," It's a lie, a huge lie, but it sounds good.

His shoulders fall and the boys in the room mutter, "Bilinski are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Another lie.

"Are you sure?" Coach scratches his head, "'Coz I'm more used to you being, you know," he waves his arms wildly and smacks Greenburg by accident.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

"Right, right, okay, and dismissed then," he's staring at me confused and frowny, those mutters around him start up again as I grab my bags and prepare to leave. I have homework to do tonight.

"Stiles," It's Scott and his hand lands on my shoulder, I stop in my tracks and wait, "Dude, you're back on the team, that's awesome," warm brown eyes smile at me, "I really hope this means we can be friends again." I never stopped being his friend, he stopped being mine, and perhaps it's better this way, this way he'll never find out about Stella.

Shaking his hand loose I walk away.

"Stiles," he yells it louder and the whole locker room is staring at us, which really doesn't bother me, "Dude, what the hell?"

For a second I see red and it burns through the numb haze, then I shove it down, he's not bothered to see how he abandoned me throughout the wolfy shit that's been happening, so screw it, he won't see how he abandoned me the moment Allison was back in his life, he won't see any of it because I'm not Allison, I'm not like her, I don't have pretty dark hair, I'm not a kickass daughter of a Hunter, I'm just Stiles/Stella and no one is ever going to accept me for me.

I go for a non answer, "I have homework," and then I walk away again, though I'm tempted to go back and to beat the crap out of him for taking my dad, the dad I'm a shit son to, the dad I'm a failure to. Best that I leave and Scott can gain a dad that isn't crappy and won't ever hit him.

Driving home I do my homework, eat, do more homework, check my kit for the game, and then I go to bed.

I don't bother to tell dad I'm on the team again, no need to make him feel obligated to turn up or come up with excuses to not come, he can turn up to Scott's games, this is probably the only one I'll get to play in so it really isn't important for him to come, anyway he has work and that's far more important than me.

The crowd is going wild, and it's not our crowd it's the opposing teams' crowd, and I really can't blame them, this is their chance to kick our asses again. Because we are shit, like really shit, as in I can't believe this is our team.

Scott and Jackson are arguing and being dicks. They each want the ball so they can score the goals and screw everyone else on the team.

Isaac and Boyd are trying to work together and with the rest of the team but they're still having trouble with their wolfy powers, and Scott and Jackson aren't helping them with keeping their tempers under control.

In fact my shock at this not turning into a mass mauling is creeping through my numbness. The number of times I've see glowing eyes on the field is way too many, it makes me glad I'm a substitute on First String and I'm bench warming.

With the co-captains at loggerheads the rest of the team are trying their hardest but aren't getting anywhere. I'm tempted to just leave it, to let them bomb but by half time I've had enough, I didn't rejoin the damn team just to be part of a losing team, I need this for my applications, I need the extra credit.

We shuffle off the field for half time and I get to see Derek sitting with Peter and Erika. Peter waves to me and Derek has his head in his hands. Allison and Lydia are sitting together next to Mr Argent and I shudder to myself, the stands are full of people I'm afraid of, either because they can expose my secret or just because they're naturally scary individuals.

To say Coach rants at us would be an understatement, he's not a happy little bunny, and neither Jackson nor Scott can agree why it went wrong, they keep blaming each other and arguing about why the other one won't just give them the ball.

"That does it," Coach cuts his hands through the air, "Jackson, McCall you're both benched for the rest of the game," they whine but he doesn't budge, "Greenburg, Bilinski, you're both up."

Greenburg's excited and happy he gets to play I just sigh, probably a bit loudly, and trundle back out to play. We get a bit better and score a few times, but now at least we're blocking them from scoring and moral starts to lift.

Exasperated at how my team is constantly missing opportunities I point them out and get some back talk, but they try my suggestions and we advance up the scoring board.

The other team is that bad that now we're fighting back they fall to pieces, to the point that even I can scoop the ball up and wander slowly down to their goal and score, seriously where is their defence? This sucks balls.

My team starts to look to me for plays, and I'm baffled, this is the easiest game in the history of Lacrosse, the only way it could be easier is if our opponents hadn't turned up in the first place. Shrugging I do what they want and give them the plays, and Coach yells others from the sidelines.

By the time the game is over we have stomped our way all over the other team, we are victorious with a stupidly huge number of points over theirs. I'd feel bad for them but I'm still fairly numb.

The locker room is loud and guys are hugging and yelling and generally celebrating. I get dressed and one of the guys, who would normally never talk to me, asks me what drink I prefer for the after school party at Lydia's.

I've always wanted to go.

To be part of it.

To be someone that others would look at and want to be around, to not be lonely.

I'm capable of admitting to myself I'm shallow enough to want to be popular, to have the adoration of the crowd, I'd loved it when I'd won the Championship, the high, that was quickly followed by the low of having the shit beaten out of me, of losing Lydia, of realising I'm never ever getting what I want.

"Sorry, I have homework to do," and I walk out of the locker room.

I pass Derek loitering in the hallway, he must be waiting for Isaac and Boyd, I know my heart has sped up, I'm afraid of what he could say, how he could ruin me with just a few words.

I hurry past him and don't look at him.

Parking up at home, I put my kit in the laundry and drag myself upstairs, I'm not hungry at the moment, I'm still too tense from seeing Derek today. I don't know why I trust Peter not to say a word but I do. Perhaps it's the way he just went with it and didn't mock me, how he tried to keep Derek from finding out, though this is Peter so he's probably keeping it under wraps so he can stab me in the back with it, its more him.

Just like I told the boy in the locker room I do homework and I'm totally caught up by the time I fall onto my bed, outwardly I'm calm, but inside I'm starting to come apart at the seams, the numbness is helping me, but it only does so much.

Thankfully I only have to do this for a little while, then I can graduate and escape, that's what I have to hang onto, that's what I have to focus on.

It's all I have left now.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	5. Chapter 5

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**05 **

Walking through school for the rest of the week is strange, people keep talking to me, people that have never talked to me before. Girls have giggled at me and waved. At first I thought someone was standing behind me but whenever I looked there was no one there.

On Friday as I sit to eat my lunch Danny plops into the seat on my right and the popular kids surround me like I'm one of them. I'd be weirded out but the numb thing is blanketing things for me.

Picking at my food I ignore the kids and wait for them to notice me and shoo me off like they normally do, except they don't, and one of the popular girls, I think her name is Bethany, is twirling her hair around a finger and for a second all I can think of is how much I want to be able to do that, to twirl my finger in long hair like that.

I must have stared too long because she's giggling, I jerk my eyes down to my tray and go back to concentrating on my food.

Clearing my tray I stand up and walk away, I think someone calls my name but I keep walking and go to the library. Coach has a game scheduled for this Saturday, it's an away game so I have to ride there with the team and back again.

Damn it.

This is biting into my study time, perhaps it was a bad idea to go back on the team. Getting out my Chemistry book I finish off my notes and tonight I can do the essay Mr Harris set, he's still a dick, but the numbness zones him out so he's more like background white noise than anything. I don't have to listen to him call me weird and stupid, useless and an idiot. I wonder if he knows about me, if he can sense it about me, or if he just really hates me because I'm a terrible person.

Someone sits next to me and I glace around to see Danny sitting there, he smiles at me, and I look around the library to see its mostly empty, there are plenty of seats and I'm fairly certain Danny normally sits on the other side of the room.

"So what are you working on?" He's still smiling and for a moment I wonder if I've somehow morphed into Jackson when I wasn't looking.

My eyes flick to the really obvious Chemistry book open in front of me, "Chemistry," I answer him.

"Cool," he puts a few books on the table in front of him and I think he's actually settling down to study.

It goes quiet and I highlight a few passages I want to expand on and do more research, school text books are so boring, they only touch on subjects they don't delve below to the interesting stuff.

"Glad you're back on the team," Danny says and I blink thinking someone else must have joined us, except there's no one else near us. Danny's flicking through his own Chemistry book, "I'm glad none of the other clubs wanted you," and my stomach drops, god even Danny hates me, "Their loss our gain," he gives me a warm smile, the ones he saves for Jackson and I blink unsure what to do or say. "I think the Drama club was the best one, that idiot that took the male lead shouldn't have had you kicked out, I heard you were going to be the lead."

I'd wanted to be the female lead, her lines were funnier and frankly her costume was better, the male lead had itching looking shit to wear. I shrug at Danny realising he's waiting for me to say something.

"Frankly the whole thing tanked and nobody bought tickets for the play," he carries on, "And I heard the Chess club lost their big competition, you were a shoo in for the win on that one."

There are so many online chess competitions and I tend to play on those, it meant I beat the local champion here too quickly and he got upset and I got kicked out of the club. Danny's staring at me again so I nod at him, that sets him off talking again, I never realised Danny talked so much, it's hard to keep my words locked up in my chest but I do it somehow.

It's a relief when the bell rings and I have to go to class, I get up and say, "I have class."

"Okay," he smiles at me again, he's smiling a hell of a lot, "We can hang out later…"

Oh god.

"Sorry, I have homework," I interrupt him.

"Oh," he pauses and for a second looks upset, "That's cool. Another time, I really enjoyed hanging out with you today," and he seems to mean it.

Danny enjoyed hanging out with me today.

I spend the rest of the day in a daze and wonder if maybe I was a bit hasty in brushing him off. That maybe I overreacted, I mean it's Danny, he's like the nicest person on the planet and everyone likes Danny, it's a rule or something.

Going home I work out, shower, have dinner and do homework, I'll be missing valuable time tomorrow, not that it matters a huge amount, I'm starting to sleep even less than I normally do, I can't seem to drop off to sleep, I may as well use that time to study.

Curling up on my bed, my brain whirls around and around, it keeps replaying the time I spent with Danny. I can't work out why he enjoyed spending time with me. And then it hits me, I'm not really being me, lots of teachers have commented on it, how undisruptive I am in class, how diligent I am with my homework, how quiet I am.

That must be why Danny wants to hang out with me, because I'm not being me, I'm not being the loud flailing spaz that I really am. It just rams home how little people like me, how unlikeable I am, no wonder Scott took off the moment he could to hang out with Allison all the time.

My anger at being ditched by him fades, I wouldn't want to hang out with me either not if I could be with someone like Allison, someone strong, someone who isn't weak.

It takes me a long time to drop off to sleep and I wake up far too early, I've only had a few hours sleep and I have a game tonight.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	6. Chapter 6

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**06 **

The ball hits the back of the goal and the crowd goes wild, well the part of the crowd that's ours. I've just scored the winning goal and the whistle blows. I'm swamped by my teammates and a part of me melts for a few seconds and then it hardens again.

I push my way out of the mass and go the sidelines, where Coach is busting a move, I sit down on the bench and wait impatiently for the signal to go to the showers.

Coach smacks me on the shoulder, "Woo, yeah, now that is what I'm talking about, this is the team that… Bilinski? Weren't you just on the field scoring the winning goal?" He sounds confused.

"Yes," I answer him.

"Err… Okay, so why aren't you out there?" Where my teammates are hugging each other and I really want to be out there, but I'm trying to hide part of me from everyone, I can't do that with guys all over me.

I shrug at him.

He sits down next to me, "Bilinski… Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I lie to him.

"Yeah, not really believing you there kid, my office is open if you need it," and then he's rounding us all up and I wonder if he can see it too, if he can see how wrong I am.

Glancing up in the stands I can see Mr Argent sitting with Allison and Lydia, they travelled all this way to see the game. Derek and Peter are sitting further up the stands, and Derek's staring right at me. Peter elbows him and shakes his head so Derek looks away. Erika isn't there but then she's walking along the stands to them and I turn away from them.

I don't belong to anyone in the stands.

I'm alone.

In the showers I get ready and sit waiting for the guys to finish primping and they say girls take a long time to get ready to go out. Finally Jackson stops messing around with his hair and we're good to go.

There's a line of people waiting for them and various family and friends surround them to congratulate them, they get kisses from girlfriends and hugs from everyone else. Apparently we've been on a bit of a losing streak but things are turning around.

Walking off I go to find our bus and then I get in, the driver ticks me off the list and I settle near the front. Getting my phone out I pull up a reference site and start to read, I'm not wasting my time waiting for those idiots, I have courses to finish, I have a graduation to get to.

The players pile onto the bus and start talking loudly about the party they're all going to. They talk about the girls they are going to be doing tonight, the drink they are going to be having, how it's going to be amazing and brilliant.

The bus starts up and partway home we move out of reception for my phone I stare out into the dark and wrap the numbness around me, my knees are jiggling but other than that I have Stella and me under control.

Someone plops down beside me, it's Danny, he's grinning, "So, I'll see you at the party tonight?"

"No," Is my automatic answer and anyway he only wants me because I'm being quiet, "I have homework."

"You always seem to have homework," he sighs and leans in, "Is everything okay with you?"

"I'm fine," I lie.

"No, you're not," he replies and pats my arm, "I'm here if you need me," and then he walks away, I turn to watch him weave his way down the bus and my eyes catch Boyd's. I jerk my head back around and closing my eyes I try to block them all out by reciting the periodic table in my head, I move onto dates in the Civil War, then I cycle through math equations and build shapes in my mind.

By the time we pull into the school I have a headache and I rub my forehead, damn it, I have homework to do before I can go to bed.

Dragging myself home I almost fall out of my baby and dad's cruiser is missing again, I'm really not surprised, he probably thought I was home and was trying to avoid me. Slumping against my jeep I lean into her, I've only been doing this a short while, trying to pretend I'm normal, I'm not sure I can do it for much longer. Sighing I straighten up and stagger to my door.

Getting inside I turn to I'm closing the door, when I spot Derek and Peter standing on the opposite side of the road, lurking, Peter waves at me. I blink and shake my head and when I look again, they're gone.

I must have imagined it.

My kit goes in the laundry, I avoid food and turn on my laptop, time to get some work done. Five hours later dad comes creeping in and goes to bed, I guess I should too.

Laying down I yawn, I'm so tired, but I can't sleep, and lay there for a few more hours before I finally fall asleep.

* * *

Dad was already gone when I woke up this morning. I couldn't face breakfast so I dry swallowed my pills, never a good thing but hey, it's not like I matter. I do warm ups and run some drills in the back garden, when I think I'm warmed through I go to get the modified backpack and strap the small weight belts I've made to my legs and to my arms. The backpack is heavy but fits snugly on my back and I go for a long run. I have to build up my muscles and my stamina, I have to look as normal as I can.

All the guys I know have muscles, stupid werewolf six packs, all manly and not feminine, my own body is too skinny, too weak, too fragile. I've also seen Allison's arms and the girl has biceps on her.

At one point during my run I fall to the ground and vomit up my stomach juices, I think I see the remains of my meds but screw it, I'm not eating that again. I breathe heavily as I spit out the disgusting stuff in my mouth. Something makes me look up and Derek is standing in the middle of the forest trail I'm running, he's staring at me and I glare at him, damn it, I do not need his crap right now.

Looking away I gather myself to stand up and groan as I get to my feet, but when I glance towards him he's gone again. Great, I'm hallucinating now, just awesome.

Finishing my run my body is trembling and shaky. I do warm downs and go for a shower. Dressing in boy clothes, because that's all I own, I wander into my room to take all my laundry downstairs, only I freeze in place, my window is open, it was closed earlier. A quick visual sweep of my room proves its werewolf free.

"Hello?" I call out and I get no reply. I take my laundry downstairs and dump it then I walk around the house and the only thing I can find out of place is one or two of the pictures I edited, like someone was looking at them.

There's a creak from upstairs and I don't have the energy to run up there, I walk, the only difference is my bedroom window is now closed.

Glaring at my window I go downstairs and wonder which of the resident furry population thought it would be funny to go through my house. Making myself some lunch I force it down. I've used up a lot of energy today, I need to replace that, and I need more protein to build up muscles, if I don't have the basic building blocks for my body then I won't look normal, I'll look like I have an eating disorder and people will ask questions, they can't ask questions, they have to accept me, well the surface of me.

I'm washing up when the front door goes, no one is supposed to be here, and I grab a frying pan to defend myself when dad walks into the kitchen, "Stiles, why are you wielding a frying pan?"

"Um…" I put the frying pan down and go back to washing up. He must have forgotten something today, that's why he's home.

I hear a chair being pulled out, "So, Scott says you're back on the team and you won the last two games for them."

No I didn't, I just pointed out the things they were doing wrong, "Yes I'm on the team, but any wins we have are a team effort," and nothing to do with me. Now I know why he's home, he's here to lecture me about screwing up.

Silence.

I pull the plug in the sink and watch the water drain away, the way the water swirls around is always the same, unless you go to the southern hemisphere and then it should go the other way round.

Dad clears his throat, "Err, I've not had any phone calls from the school for a while, that's good."

"I've not been getting into trouble," I tell him and start to dry up. "I spend a lot of time in the library doing homework."

More silence and I finish up the drying up. I move onto putting things away.

"Scott misses you," Dad says and I drop the frying pan on the floor, I bend over and pick it up, carefully not looking at dad.

"No he doesn't, he has Allison now," I put the frying pan away. It was the last thing I had to do. "I'm going to do homework now."

I leave him there and I bet he's glad I'm going, he sighs as I walk up the stairs and I know I'm right, he's sorry I'm here, he wishes I were gone, that he had Scott as a son instead of me.

Buried in Biology I don't notice him walk up behind me, "What's that?" He points at my laptop screen.

"It's the inside of a nerve, potassium on one side, sodium on the other. When a nerve is activated they swap sides," it's the easiest way to explain it without getting into the permutational qualities and temperatures that affect it, "It causes the electrical current that is we call a nerve impulse," it's close enough to true, for a given worth of true, and dad is nodding.

"Fascinating, we didn't do anything like that when I went to school," he says and when dad went to school they were still discovering stuff left right and centre, it took a while to trickle into mainstream education. "Right, that's good son," and I nearly flinch at that familial reminder, "I just wanted to tell you I'm proud of you, you did good at the game."

I nod, because that's what I'm expected to do, and I really want it to be true, for dad to really be proud of me, but if he ever found out about Stella he'd be upset because I'm not right and it'll end up tanking his career.

And my brain helpfully points out that Scott is on the Lacrosse team and Scott does well on the Lacrosse team, so dad is only seeing the parallels, he's not really proud of me, I'm too much of a proven disappointment.

I stare down at the floor and wait.

"Okay, I'm going to go do the laundry, I've fallen behind on my list of the chores, and I'll cook tonight," he stands there for a few minutes but I don't say anything and then he leaves.

I go back to my homework and ignore how my hands are shaking or how my eyes sting like I want to cry. I refuse to cry. I bottle it up and keep going.

He really does cook dinner and I get called down to eat it, he keeps talking to me, asking me how school is, I stick to variations of, "I'm fine," and "It's fine."

Volunteering to wash up I clear the table, and I try not to heave as the food in my stomach keeps trying to come up again, I have to keep it down, down is healthy, down is good.

Putting the last plate away I turn and he's studying me. Crap, he's good at investigating things, if he thinks something is off he'll pounce on me, he'll dig until he gets to the truth.

"I have homework," I tell him and go to the stairs, he's sighing again and I know I've fucked up somehow.

Steadily I go through all the assignments, and I have Mr Harris' crappy report ready for him, the sooner I can get that handed in the better. I'm part way through Physics when dad knocks on my open door, "I'm going to bed, don't stay up too late, you have school in the morning."

"Yes sir, I just have this to do," I point to the textbook.

"Okay, sleep tight Stiles," he says and waits.

"Yes sir, goodnight sir," I shove my nose back into my work and I hear him sigh again, I've done something else wrong. He walks off and I breathe out as I hear what could be a faint creak from the roof, like someone shifted their weight up there, stupid eavesdropping werewolves.

Completing my Physics homework I put it in the pile to hand in, its two weeks early, but it gets rid of it for me. Then I go to bed, well I curl up on my bed but I can't sleep. I hear dad's alarm go off and I hear him shuffling around. I wait for my alarm and only then do I get up.

I'm tired and I don't feel right, but then I'm a freak, so what do I expect. I get my school stuff ready and I force down pills and food, then I go to school and try to survive for just a little bit longer.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

Next… Peter.

Also thank you for all your lovely kudos, comments, reviews, follows etc Sorry I've been so slow in replying.


	7. Chapter 7

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**07 **

Finally.

I can see my escape route, it's there, right in front of me. All week I've done my best to blend in and not call attention to me, to hand in homework almost right after it's assigned, to go to practice, to keep up with my new courses, to stay on track with my schedule.

And now it's Friday and I just want to fall to the floor, I'm so tired, I've got a huge headache, I'm cold, the room occasionally spins on me, I've got homework to do, I have to get up tomorrow because I have a game to play, luckily a home game and the guys are telling me how I'll win the game again, are they crazy, since when am I anyone's hope for anything other than being a screw up?

All I have to do is get through those doors, stumble to my jeep and get home without crashing, I can almost taste the freedom now…

"Mr Stilinski, a word," it's Mr Harris.

Crap.

Pasting on a neutral expression I trudge after him and end up in an empty classroom, he's probably going to give me detention for breathing, he really hates me.

"Take a seat Mr Stilinski," he says and I slump into a seat and wait.

He paces a few times and looks vaguely uncomfortable, "Mr Stilinski I would never say that you are one of my favourite students, in fact I'd prefer to never have to teach you again, ever," see he hates me. "That said I am your teacher and I have noticed a marked and abrupt change in your behaviour," oh god, no, no, do not let Mr Harris know about me.

My heart starts beating faster and the shot of adrenaline to my system wakes me up a little.

"I know you don't like me any more than I like you," he stops pacing and perches on the edge of the teacher's desk, "So I extremely doubt that you trust me, but… I am an adult, and if you need to tell me anything, anything at all, I will listen and I will then bring it to the attention of those that need to know, if you will allow me to do so, and from there we can find a way to face whatever it is," is he being nice to me?

"Mr Stilinski, you are not alone…" I'm completely stunned, of all the teachers to notice, first it's Coach Finstock and now Mr Harris? "I want you think long and hard about this, because whatever it is that you're dealing with is clearly big and huge and probably scary. Sometimes the first step is to realise there is something there you can't deal with on your own, that you need some kind of help," and his voice softens, he's not talking to me anymore, it's like he's lost in his own head, "You'll make stupid choices, things you'll regret, but if you just reach out…"

Snapping out of it he looks at me, "Just think about it, if you can't talk to me, then talk to someone else, someone you can trust, but please talk to someone."

I nod, not that I'm admitting to anything being other than fine and I'm dismissed. The drive home is uneventful and I'm so keyed up I can't eat, I was barely able to keep the damn tiny baby apple I had at lunch down so I slink up the stairs and get ready to do homework.

Opening my bedroom door I freeze in surprise when I see Peter sitting at my computer desk like he's supposed to be there. My window is shut and Peter's already taken his coat and shoes off like he's a proper visitor instead of a creeper.

"Hello Stiles," he smiles at me and that is seriously not cool, he looks normal and not a murdering psycho when he smiles.

Unfreezing I stand there and wonder what the hell I'm supposed to do. I can't run to Scott, I can't run to Derek, and there is a creepy 'I came back from the dead' werewolf sitting in my room like he belongs there.

"You look tired," he says and I have zero comeback for him, "I noticed you didn't stop to eat on the way up, when was the last time you ate?" He's cocked his head to one side and he's studying me.

God I am so tired, "Lunch, I ate at lunch," which is totally true.

"Hmm, that's good, I'd hate to think that denying who you are had moved on from the lack of sleeping, and acting like an emotionless robot, to adding an eating disorder to your issues too," he leans back in my chair seemingly at ease.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I go for total denial.

He sighs, "Stiles, we both know I can hear your heartbeat, and we both know you're lying. And we both know what you're lying about."

Stella.

I can't let her out, I can't, I can't, I can't. Snapping out of it I shake my head because the simple truth is that I can't be me, not here, not now, I have to get out of Beacon Hills, I have to get away, I have to protect my dad, people won't understand about me and they'll punish him, I have to not screw up.

"I've spoken to Derek," he says and I stiffen ramming down as much of me as I can, he can't see any weakness or cracks, he'll rip into me through them. "He's still a thick headed idiot, but he's starting to realise just how wrong he was to destroy your dress, to mock you, and how much damage he could have done to you. Of course your rather impressive little bouts of violence on the lacrosse field have shaken him, that coupled with you being a robot and smelling like you're mortally wounded have convinced him I'm right," and he sounds like thinking he's anything but right is unthinkable.

"And I have on offer to make to you," he's unruffled and calm and I glance up at him. "He finally acknowledges that Scott has cut you off, for whatever stupid reason, and we have all discussed it, it's unanimous we would like you to join our Pack, as our human member. The Betas don't know about your duality, no that's not right, more your fuller gender and personality, but they will accept you as you, of that I'm sure."

He sits forward on the chair and I'm reeling with the information that they want me to join their Pack, "If anyone can come anywhere close to understanding you it will be werewolves, we are human but wolf, intellect but instinct, we should be two separate sides of a coin but we are the whole coin."

It sounds pretty, and I'm tired of being lonely, of being on my own, but I have my plan to escape this life, I have my dad, Mrs McCall, and Scott to think about. I can't just betray Scott and go join Derek's Pack.

"We also offer that you will not be dragged into any conflicts we might have with Scott, you've grown up thinking he's your brother after all, that would be unfair, you shouldn't have to divide your loyalties," and for a second I actually wonder if he's telling me the truth or playing me, this is too good to be true.

"What's the catch?" I ask warily, I don't trust Peter, and Derek's never hidden how much he dislikes me, how much he doesn't trust me.

A very sneaky smile flits across Peter's face, "The catch is that you become our hugging mascot, we get human touch from you," I have no idea what the hell he is talking about, my brain is fuzzy right now and I give him my confused face. He stands up and walks towards me, "Let me show you," and I stupidly stand there.

My hands are guided around his body and under his shirt so they both sit just above his pants and his skin is ridiculously soft and scalding hot to my cold fingers. His hands do the same to me and I jump as his hands rest on my back. Peter shudders and then his nose is buried in my neck, "Like this," he breathes out over my neck and I shiver, "This is what we need from you the most, simple human touch."

Nuzzling into my neck he carries on talking, "Did you know that werewolf packs are very tactile? We touch constantly; it allows our scents to mingle and helps to strengthen the emotional bonds between us all. Any humans in a pack are our touchstones, the ones we go to for that extra something, they ground us, they often become our anchors, without touch we go insane." His hands twitch on my back but I'm frozen in place and try not to think about the claws he can grow that could rip my spine out of my back.

"It doesn't justify what I did, what I became, and frankly I'm still not sane, but I spent years trapped in a burnt and broken body and no one touched me, ever, I'd gone from family and love and touch, to nothing and only their dying screams in my head to keep me company," his arms tighten, "It doesn't excuse what I did and I really don't care, but you need to understand why we need you Stiles, why you are essential to us."

"Okay," I can see how my hugging skills could come in handy, Stilinskis give awesome hugs, it's one of the few things I'm still confident about myself, something I don't have to hide, if I had someone to hug I'd be hugging them a lot.

"It's also why Scott's being so incredibly stupid," Peter's voice is murmured straight into my ear, "He needs the bond to an Alpha, but his instincts understand that he needs human touch too, it's why he's cleaving to the Argent brat so tightly, to the point that he abandoned his brother to keep her. He's staving off insanity, but it won't last forever, he needs Derek, he needs an Alpha, he could survive for years but eventually he'll snap and the Argents will be able to crow about how they were right and all werewolves need to be put down, they'll cite how nice and sweet and puppy like Scott was and how the werewolf in him destroyed his humanity."

Scott would rather eat wolfsbane than side with Derek, but in a way it makes me feel better, he's trying to survive, he didn't mean to abandon me he's… Wait, why am I trusting Peter Hale?

"Also we can offer you what Scott can't yet. We can offer you a safe place for you to let Stella out, to be the girl/boy that you are. To embrace all of you at once and not bow down to the narrow view of gender that society has," and that knocks the breath from me.

Crap.

Really?

Somewhere to be me? All of me? Can I be that selfish? Can I grab it with both hands and say screw you to the world?

"I…" What do I do? I've come to the realisation that I can't keep carrying on the way I am, I'm going to die of exhaustion long before I get out of here, and I can't keep hiding in my room.

"Want to sleep on it?" He asks and lets me go, my back feels colder without his hands there, "I brought you a present," he goes to where he put his coat and shoes and rummages for a bag, "Ah here it is," he hands the bag to me, "Go on Stiles, open it."

Well it can't be a bear trap, it's too small, I peer in the bag and there's something wrapped in blue tissue paper in there. Dumping it on the bed, to be on the safe side, I unwrap the tissue paper to find a set of pyjamas, they're a soft material and they're blue. They're neither masculine nor feminine, I could wear these and get away with it, no one would know, they'd assume they were for boys.

"I…" Oh my god, I can't can I? And what the hell does it say that I'm accepting this from Peter of all people?

"I guessed at the size, but I shouldn't be that far off," he's undoing his shirt and I may make a squeaking noise. "Stiles, part of the touch thing is that we all get to sleep with you, and by sleep I mean sleep, nothing athletic you little jailbait temptation," the shirt falls away to show off his perfect fucking werewolf abs. When his hands reach for his belt I make another squeaking noise, oh my god, please let him be wearing underwear. He is, in red and they're tight.

"I…" Oh my god, is this even real?

He shoos his hands towards me, "Go, go and get changed for bed, I'll make you some soup, you will eat, you will sleep and in the morning you'll be refreshed and you'll be ready to take on your opponents on the lacrosse field."

"Homework," I blurt, "I have homework to do tonight."

"Really?" He lifts an eyebrow, "Stiles you're exhausted, your concentration will be shot, if you can get some sleep you'll power through your homework in the morning, you'll get far more done when you're rested than when you're close to collapse." He gestures to me and then points my bedroom door, "Now go change, don't make me phone Derek and get him to come help you get ready for bed."

I flee for the bathroom and I'm changed before I realise what I've done and then I catch sight of myself in the mirror, I look gaunt and tired, drained, wasted. The material of the sleepwear is so soft on my skin and for the first time in days, weeks, part of me balances out. I'm not at war with myself. The top has the shoulders in it, the pants are long and all the way down my legs, there is nothing inappropriate about these, except they came from Peter and they're perfect for me, all of me.

Oh god.

I'm going to say yes to Derek and I feel like a traitor for it, but I can't keep going, I'm only human and I can't keep this up much longer.

I only need to be part of the Pack until I graduate, which will be soon, and then I can escape Beacon Hills, I can get out, I can find a place to be me, somewhere that won't hurt those I love, and it's pretty obvious that once I'm gone things will be better for them too.

Grabbing my clothes that are scattered on the bathroom floor, I shuffle back to my room and I'm not sure what to do now. Wrapping my arms around me I wait and then I hear the soft tread on the stairs leading up to my room.

Peter walks in carrying a tray with a bowl of soup, it's vegetable. The steam is rising from it and within seconds I can smell it. I'm too worked up to eat it but I appreciate that he's trying.

Wait, why am I trusting him again? He could just be getting ready to poison me so he can hurt Scott or my dad or… I'm reaching now, there's no way my dad would give a damn he'd be able to have Scott to himself and not have to worry about the sorry excuse of a son.

With that in mind I reach for the poisoned soup and sit on the computer chair to eat my last meal.

As last meals go its damn good and I struggle to eat it at first, my stomach protests but then settles shortly afterwards, the warmth of the soup radiates out and I sigh happily at something as simple as a full stomach.

"Good?" Peter's voice breaks the moment and I jump in surprise.

He's sitting on the edge of my bed in just his underpants, bright red underpants, and damn it, those bloody werewolf abs are on show, along with his various other well defined muscles that werewolves all seem to have.

I realise he's waiting for me to say something, "Err, yeah, it's good," I pause and then add, "Thanks."

"Excellent, well I'll go wash that up and it's time for bed, you have homework tomorrow and then a big game," he grabs the empty bowl and strolls out taking the tray with him, my stomach knots up as I stare at the bed and wonder how this is even supposed to work.

He's soon back, and manages to get me into bed without much fuss from me, I'm so tired now I can't think properly. We lay down and he tucks us in and then he moves so he's the little spoon. I didn't think it was possible for someone to aggressively little spoon but Peter does. I have to wrap my arms around him and tuck his body in close to mine. His remarkably hot body, as in temperature, as in the heat from the soup and the heat from him gang up on me and I close my eyes just for a second...

To wake up to a warm snugly pillow or giant teddy bear in my bed and in my arms. God that feels so good and I wiggle in closer to cling to it.

Something is niggling at me.

I ignore it, it can't be that important and the heat on my front is making me drowsy. The chances of me ever being able to lay in are slim so I make the most of it and drift off again.

The soft sounds of someone breathing near me wake me up with a start and I tighten my grip on the warm body in my arms.

Urgh I really don't want to wake up.

I've been so tired and I feel like I've just had a great night's sleep. I don't get those that often. Resolutely I smooch my face into the warm neck in front of me, I refuse to get up.

Relaxing again I let my breathing fall into the same pattern as the breathing near me, nice and slow and deep and...

Wait...

Breathing near mine?

Did I make up with Scott?

I don't remember making up with Scott. Scott's the only person I've ever spent the night with and that's a depressing thought, I've only ever slept with someone I consider to be my brother and it was totally platonic.

It's an effort to open my eyes and it's so damn warm and comfortable in bed right now. All I can see is a head of brown hair, but it's too light to be Scott, and finally I remember yesterday, and Peter.

Peter.

Peter Freaking Hale is in my bed, in my arms, in very tight red underpants.

I don't remember moving but I must have thrown myself backwards because I'm soon flailing and then I crash to the ground in a heap. Blinking stupidly I stare the edge of the bed where Peter's face is slowly appearing, he stares down at me, "I take it you slept well. You look better today."

"Err..." I really don't know how to handle having him in my bed, human touch excuse or not.

"I'll make breakfast while you have a shower," he tells me and shoos me into the bathroom, I have got to stop letting him push me around.

Since I do need a shower I get in and turn the water on. It cascades over me and let it wake me up even more. For the first time in days, weeks, I'm not drained, I have energy, energy I can use to freak out in the shower.

Peter Freaking Hale is in my house, he was in my bed and that prompts me to hastily check my ass just in case, but it feels like it normally does and nothing hurts. In fact when I check out my body I notice that the only bruises I have left are the recent ones from Lacrosse, Trent hasn't been locker checking me since I rejoined the team.

Well that's a bonus.

And then I remember that I've agreed to join Derek's pack.

Crap.

Turning off the water I dry myself and try to list pros and cons of being in Scott's pack verses Derek's pack. If I'm honest though I've not been in Scott's pack for a long time, and if Peter's right, which is a big if, I might be able to get away with letting Stella out for short little visits. There is no way in hell I'm telling the three Betas about her, but if Peter and Derek already know then it won't matter if I slip occasionally, I'll have to work hard to keep her hidden anywhere else but...

Damn it.

Sitting on the side of the bath I put my head in my hands, I'm still tired, still exhausted and confused, still not normal but then neither are Derek or Peter. Except if I take them up on this there is nothing to guarantee that Derek won't make my life hell or that Peter won't use this against me to get back at me and also at Scott.

Plus in a way I'm betraying Scott.

We've been BFFs since I can remember and I know in my heart I'm going to do this. Scott's picked the Argents over me, even though Mr Argent has slammed me into hospital walls and Gerard Argent beat the shit out of me and also threatened Scott's mom.

So course that's when I notice the only clothes I have are my pyjamas or a towel. Damn it. Pulling on the PJ bottoms I crack open the bathroom door and peer out, the hallway is empty and I sneak to my bedroom, still nothing.

Throwing on clothes that don't smell too much I go downstairs to go find where the creeper wolf of the undead kind is lurking.

He's in the kitchen and he's made me breakfast. Breakfast that is made up of fruit and then followed by scrambled eggs.

"Ah there you are my newest Pack member," he beams at me and that's more scary than when he's being psychotic, "Come along my dear Stiles Stella Stilinski, eat up, you'll need your strength for all that extra homework you have and for your big game later today."

Homework.

Shit I didn't do any last night I just collapsed into bed with Peter, I wince at the thought, ridiculously early and then slept the evening and night away. Wow I never sleep for that long, I can't because of the ADHD and the meds I'm on.

Sitting at the table I start eating automatically and then blink because he called me Stiles and Stella, like he's accepted me, which isn't that hard a stretch of my imagination, he did the same in my bedroom when he surprised me in my dress, my heart clenches at the reminder of my first dress and my anxiety of being anywhere near Derek rises.

"Calm down little one," and Peter sits down opposite me, he's still in just those tight red trunks and I give him really good eye to eye contact. He sips his tea and I eat in silence.

The fruit is fresh and I know it wasn't in our pantry, the eggs are perfect and fluffy, and the whole thing is so way out there on the weirdness scale I have no reference or experience on how to deal with this.

Scrapping the last piece of egg off of the plate I put the fork down, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he smiles at me over his mug and I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall when someone knocks on the back door. "Ah that would be Derek our illustrious Alpha and Leader," he's mocking his nephew knowing full well that Derek will be able to hear him.

Oh crap.

I freeze at the table and Peter all but skips off in those red trucks to let his nephew into my house. I knew there was going to be a price to pay and I'm about to pay it.

Screw it.

I brace my shoulders and sit up straighter, I've put up with people laughing at me my whole life mostly for being clumsy and having zero focus or brain to mouth filter, I can take Derek ridiculing me for being part girl part boy.

The backdoor closes and then someone is stomping angrily up the stairs, it must be Peter because Derek appears in the doorway, he's got his leather jacket on and it's still hot out, guess taking it off messes with his bad boy image.

We sit there, well I sit there, he stands, staring at each other and listening to the thumps from my room and then Peter's stomping back down the stairs. Luckily he's dressed now and he's annoyingly perfectly put together. He brushes past Derek and sits back down to drink his tea, "Please tell me you two didn't just waste all the time I was dressing by only staring at each other and not talking? Except I know I didn't hear any talking going on..."

It's such an obvious hint and one that Derek scowls at, then he clears his throat, "Stiles, Peter says you've accepted our group invitation to join our Pack," and I know it can't be a prank now, that's not Derek's style, he's not sneaky, oh he can use his looks to get what he wants, but if you know him, and I do, well a bit, he's so damn obvious about it. "And I wanted to say welcome and that I've been working with contractors on my house…" He trails off awkwardly.

"What he means is," Peter steps in, "That while we are going to work on the original Hale property it's only going to be a club house, a place we can get away. Derek has bought a nice property on the edge of town with some wooded areas, there will be plenty of room for you at all times, it will also be Isaac's home so he can invest the money from his family home and he can use it for college for whatever future plans he has."

So this means Derek isn't living in the house of doom and gloom and being forced to confront his family's ghosts all of the time? That has to be healthier for him, as long as he deals with it right.

"There are quite a few rooms with big wardrobes in them and they're earmarked for ensuite bathrooms," Peter's still talking, "One of them would be perfect for you, you can keep all of your clothes there, the boy clothes," he pauses and I stiffen in shock and a bit of horror, "And the girl clothes, I did say you could be yourself there, all of yourself whether boy or girl."

Oh my god.

My heart is thundering in my chest and I wait for the comments from Derek but he's standing there quietly, calmly and he doesn't have his judgy face on, he's not shut his face down to his unreadable poker face either.

Peter finishes his tea with a flourish and stands up, "You could always paint your room in the Pack house pink…"

"Dude!" The response from me is automatic, "No, not pink, I don't care that they sell it as a girl's colour…" And then I falter because that could be taken as my declaration of being a girl, I've hidden me for so long, I've read the news, I've been on websites and heard first-hand accounts of what happens to transsexuals, of being born in the wrong type of body.

"You can paint it any colour you want," Is Derek's contribution to my mini crisis moment, "And…" Derek looks embarrassed and unhappy, "I'm sorry I destroyed your clothing, I didn't understand and I was wrong."

And then he's gone, stepping back and fading down the hallway. My jaw is hanging open and I hear the faint snick of the backdoor closing. I was not expecting that, and there's a tiny tendril of hope, that maybe, just maybe I might find somewhere I can be me.

A snort from the kitchen has me remembering that Peter is still here, "Honestly if he can't make an entrance he'll make a flashy exit instead," and I find that hypocritical coming from Peter of all people. "Well I have to go too, we'll see you at the game tonight, good luck with your homework," and with that he waltzes out of the kitchen and heads for the backdoor with as much drama as he can muster, which is considerable.

I'm left sitting at the kitchen table wondering if any of that was real or not.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	8. Chapter 8

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**08 **

Cheering and yelling is coming from the side-lines and the crowd is screaming its approval as Isaac scores again. We're starting to stomp all over the competition and it helps that the opposing team are shadowing me so hard that they're leaving giant gaps for my team to jump through and score with.

Scott and Jackson look miserable on the bench and I try not to gloat to myself too much, after all I know what it's like to sit there and it's not nice. Being on the field is much more fun. And it serves them right for not pulling together with the team.

Half time happens and we walk off the field for a short break, Coach is ecstatic and wants us to keep pushing, "And don't forget they're covering our MVP Bilinski so much they're leaving themselves wide open for the rest of you to grind them into the mud," the guys all cheer and I get nods sent my way, I have no idea why, I'm not doing anything except running around uselessly and trying not to fall flat on my face.

The next half starts and our opponents still waste resources on me, not that they do a hell of a good job, I manage to sneak past a few of them and scoop up the ball, I look for someone to throw it to but there's no one close, instead I bolt for the goal. Running around with werewolves in the past has sharpened my reflexes and I dodge some defenders to get the ball in the back of the net.

Turning around I get to see my team jumping up and down in joy while the other team are being screamed at by their coach, the words, "One job, just one job, keep the kid out of play!" The man is pointing in my direction and I can't see anyone other than Greenburg near me, I didn't think Greenburg was that good a player, I shrug and then spend the rest of the game surrounded by their players and feeling like I've got my own not so secret service people to defend me.

Okay so I know they're not here to defend me but it's suffocating to be in the middle of them and it helps put it out of my mind.

We win the game and I stand there enduring the slaps on the back from my team mates, even Scott stands near me and gives me a smile, which fades and gets replaced by a frown, "Why do you smell like Peter?" He leans in to ask and I can't bring myself to tell him I've deserted him to go play in Derek's sandbox, so I sidle away and stand near Danny.

"Hey that was an amazing goal! You can really move when you want to." He congratulates me and smiles widely.

"It was nothing," I brush it off, "Did you see all the goals you caught, dude that was amazing," and it was, but then that's Danny, he's just naturally amazing.

"Yeah," he accepts and then laughs, "Come on lets go gloat at how terrible our opponents were."

The whole team gets in on it and the locker room is buzzing with guys being boisterous and boosting about their awesome moves and how the whole game hung on them and them alone. Showering I wander out to get dressed and mentally run over my schedule for the weekend.

Peter has derailed it nicely and in theory I should have lost a complete evening, except with that much sleep I was able to charge through my homework and assignments, so I didn't lose that much time. The game tonight fills my quota for exercise, in effect I have some wiggle room on studying. It's certainly something that is making me glad I said I'd join Derek's pack, more consistent sleep can only help me in the long run and I'll appear more normal without bags under my eyes and looking so washed out and half dead.

Coach 'debriefs' us and makes a fuss over my huge efforts of one goal and being an excellent distraction that pulled so many of their players away from the main field. I'm beginning to think I could have gotten a lawn chair and read while on the field and I'd still have made a 'giant contribution' to the team this evening.

Dismissed I grab my bag and go to leave but Danny intercepts me, "Stiles, come on, you cannot have homework again tonight," he gives me another of his smiles and there's something off about it, "Just come to the party, even if it's for an hour."

How many times did I used to wish that someone like Danny would ask me to go to the main party afterwards? He's gorgeous, smart, hot as hell, and so damn nice he's made of sugar and spice, or something else poetical.

"I..." I know he only likes me because I was quiet for a while, he doesn't normally like me, and maybe that's the key to this, go to the party, pretend I'm a normal teenage boy, stay for a few hours, go home, do homework and I can bluff the rest of my high school career, I can fit in, not stick out, and then get the hell out of Beacon Hills with glowing reports and recommendations. "Okay, but only for a few hours."

"Great, I'll see you there," and he beams at me like I've made his day. I don't understand it, but I play along and leave the locker room alone.

Oh my god, why the hell did I ever want to go to these things? I'm not drinking so watching everyone else get drunk, and in some cases high as kites, is so much more boring than I ever realised it could be. And the girls are all being so damn dumb and dull, there was a reason I had a crush on Lydia, at least she's smart, the girls that keep cornering me and giggling are acting so stupid I want to smack my head against a wall.

It doesn't help that I've managed to accidently overhear them all plotting to somehow wrangle a date out of me so they can climb the social ladder by being with me, none of them even knows me or likes me, they only want me because the team seems to think I'm an amazing player, and top jocks are dateable and sexy.

Before things went south with Scott I'd be totally up for these nubile things using me for my body and popularity, anything just to have sex. But now it's like I'm seeing the whole thing with new eyes and I want nothing to do with them, plus I'd be so busy hiding Stella that I'd never be able to enjoy being around whatever unlucky girl was saddled with me. Or I'd give myself away and then I'd end up destroying the girl I was with, my dad and everyone else, so perhaps it's better this way.

Hiding from them I snag some lemonade and vanish outside, I avoid a few more people and then look at my watch, how much longer until I can escape for the night?

"Hey," Danny says from behind me and I jump a mile and squeak in shock, "Sorry I didn't mean to startle you," he's standing there beer bottle in hand and there's still something off about him.

"'S'Cool," I wave it off and then freeze, I can't be too loud around Danny he doesn't like that, he likes the lie of me being quiet. "So..." Crap how do normal people talk? I'm so used to Scott or something supernatural that I just ramble and say what I want when I want, in most cases that tends to get me hit by something supernatural...

Mentally I grope for a topic but the only things Danny and I have in common are school and Lacrosse, "So..." I repeat, "Good game..." And then I wince because that was lame.

He takes pity on me and we really do discus the game, and Danny's natural brains show, the way he observed both teams, weakness and strengths even his own, and that's always harder for people to admit to.

Greenburg and a few of the guys find us talking and join in, I'm not used to this, not only are my team talking to me they keep turning to me and asking my opinions on things, it's like I'm in the Twilight Zone or some alternate universe.

Isaac and Boyd wander up and flank me, for a few minutes I'm tense but they chat too and I start to relax.

A loud crash comes from nearby followed by a male yell of pain. Storming around a corner Erika stalks towards us and pushes between me and Boyd, her top is torn on one side and she's furious, which is always a scary prospect, I pity the idiot that thought he could take her on.

Speaking of idiots a senior limps around the corner and even in the growing twilight I can see the growing bruise mottling one side of his face, his features are twisted with rage and he points at Erika, "Bitch!" Wow he has no idea how right he is. "Fucking bitch I am so gonna show you."

And now the torn top is making more sense, there have been rumours about this guy, rumours I'm not supposed to know about, but hey, I'm curious about things. Rumours that have complaints about him not taking no for an answer and being a bit too handsy with girls, but it's hidden behind them getting very drunk and not remembering giving any kind of consent to the bastard.

I don't even think about it, I step in his way and shield her behind me, the fact that she could bench press both of us and kill us with those sharp talons doesn't matter, she shouldn't be pressured into anything and the part of me that's Stella has often seen things that guys shrug off as nothing and I do understood just what assholes some guys can be, "Show her what?" I challenge him.

"Out of my way freak," he tries to push me away and I stand my ground as much as I can, I've been working out, and I may be skinny but guys routinely slam into me, I'm harder to move than you'd think.

"No, I want to know what you want to show Erika, because let's face it, it can't be that interesting if the only way you can 'show' anyone is if they're so drunk they can't fight back," whoa where the hell did that come from? My brain to mouth filter is more offline than normal.

Various guys laugh at my insults and the idiot in front of me goes a shade of red and purple I'm sure isn't natural, hey maybe he's supernatural too, a special kind of weredouche. "Fuck you Stilinski!" Is his only comeback.

I deliberately wait a few seconds and then grin at him, "Nah, you're not my type, I like 'em pretty and smart, plus you're too much of a coward for my taste," if anything his face goes darker and then he telegraphs a punch at me.

Seriously?

Urgh, dad made me do some self defence, and yes I didn't fight back with Gerard, but the guy put me off, this idiot though? Oh this one gets a punch back and he falls to the ground gripping his jaw, "Get lost," I tell him, "And leave Erika and all the other girls the fuck alone, grow a personality that hasn't crawled out from under a rock and you might get a girlfriend the normal way."

He scrambles to his feet and flees the scene while I massage my fist and walk back to the group, they're giving me approving nods and I get a few more back slaps. "Damn it," I whine, "I think I broke my fist," I shake it and wince at the pain, I am not built for all this violence.

"Dude that was an awesome punch," Greenburg says and then smirks at Erika, "Guess that makes Stilinski your hero."

Snorting at him I shake my head, "I doubt that, Erika's more than capable of ripping that guy's balls off and feeding them to him," it's a little graphic but she could so do that.

"Hmm," she stretches and gives her best feral grin, Greenburg takes a sensible step back out of reach and his reaction makes her smile wider.

The sound of falling furniture and breaking crockery comes from the house and I hide a sigh as the music gets turned up higher as if someone is trying to mask the noise. Great dad's going to get called and then I'm going to be busted.

Looking in the windows I can see Scott and Allison plastered against each other and swaying with the music, though they're moving a lot slower than the tempo currently playing. He's so wrapped up in her I doubt he noticed the party going to hell in a hand basket, normally it would be up to me to pull him out of it, but screw it, he's chosen Allison over me, he'd prefer to shack up with her than have anything to do with me.

"I'm outta here," I say loudly and begin listing homework in my head, I'll do a small assignment when I get home.

"Yeah," Greenburg nods and then frowns, "So where are we going?"

What?

"Bowling," Erika says and that gets nods all round, though I'm baffled as to why they're all bailing on the party too, and anyway the bowling alley will be packed, and why am I even thinking that? It's not like I'm going too.

"Good, I'll see you all there," Danny grins and steps up to me, "Hey I've been drinking, and Jackson was my lift," he gives me sad eyes and then glances at the house, the same house where I can see Jackson and Lydia wrapped up around each other, "So..."

Oh my god, Danny wants me to hang out with them bowling? Seriously? I know he only wants me there because I've not been babbling like an idiot but... But for a few seconds I wonder what Jackson being a werewolf has been like for Danny, they were always tight, always together, and thinking back, I've seen Danny on his own most of the time, maybe I'm not the only one that got abandoned, though I'm surprised anyone would abandon someone like Danny.

"Okay," I agree and really this might help my plan of appearing normal, of fitting in, of hiding in plain sight.

In the jeep it's just the two of us and he doesn't say anything so I shut my mouth and try to keep to this new fantasy version of Stiles, it's hard, really hard to not fill up the silence but I manage it and we walk in to the bowling alley.

I was right it is full and then everyone else arrives, which turns out to be half the party from the house, where the hell have all these people come from? We book six lanes, for those that want to play, and hit the arcade area while we wait. Normally I'd peel off and go play video games with Scott and be ignored by everyone, yet now, Danny is hanging around as are the three werewolves and people keep coming up to talk to me.

It's surreal.

Eventually our lanes are free and we start bowling. Scott was always useless at this, the amount of times he's thrown it behind us, and we've had to have the kiddie barriers put up so he could get a ball down to hit the pins. Well I may be a dick but I'm not cruel enough to play properly against him so I always dumbed down my game. I don't bother in this crowd, and as the entire thing is simply a matter of angles and physics, I pick a ball and stick to it, this means I can learn where the weight in it is and how I need to aim to get strikes.

On my team are Danny, and the three wolves, Greenburg and two of the less giggly girls, who turn out to be good at bowling, so we slaughter the other teams and I'm surprised when at the end of the first game my score is pretty much perfect and I'm ahead of everyone.

"That's awesome," Danny pats my shoulder and bumps his lemonade bottle to mine, "With your score we can't lose."

Wow, my head swells at his complement and then I remember who I really am I tramp it down, "Nah, it wasn't just me, have you seen your score? Let alone the others of our team," I use the bottle to point to the three wolves, Greenburg and the two girls who keep smiling at me and twiddling their fingers in their hair, which is unfair because I so want hair to be able to do that with.

We finished our game before anyone else so we hang around and I roll my eyes at some of the girls tottering around and being useless on the other teams, the annoying thing is I know some of them are cheerleaders and there is no way they're that useless at hand eye coordination, inside my Stella side is even more annoyed at them dumbing themselves down for their boyfriend's egos.

God men can be so fragile and you have to nurse them and their egos so much.

Stella is starting to rise up and I squash her down as much as I can, I can't be anything other than Stiles right now, even if that version of Stiles isn't really me either, this hiding yourself thing is so exhausting.

"STILES!" That sounds like my dad's voice.

Flailing around, and nearly hitting Danny twice, I spin to see dad walking towards me, he's in uniform and there are two Deputies hot on his heels, one of them I've known since I was in diapers the other is a newcomer.

"Dad," I squeak and I'm horribly conscious of the whole bowling alley coming to a screeching halt and falling into silence, oh well there goes my brief affair with being accepted by the popular crowd, I knew it couldn't last, I really should have gone straight home from the party, or better yet, not turned up to the party in the first place.

He's soon in front of me and everyone is watching us.

"The department got a call about the Mason's place," and that was where the party was being held, I can see Mason being ground for life over this, his parents were only out of town for two days. "We shut the party down and confiscated a lot of alcohol, alcohol that underage teens shouldn't have…"

I keep my mouth shut and wait, I try not twitch too much and I lean on Stella as much as I can without letting that side of me out, when I'm female I'm so much calmer and it must work as I don't tense up.

"The kids had some drugs on them too," he mentions and I realise what he's doing, he's dangling titbits and waiting for me to break and admit to things, damn it.

"Scott was there with Allison," Is dropped in along with, "And that Lydia girl you like," I'm starting to crack, my teeth grind together and I'm not going to last much longer, then I'll implicate myself into something I'm actually innocent of and I'm make dad's life even more of a hell than it already is.

"Jackson should have been there too," Danny supplies helpfully, dad flicks his eyes to Danny and tilts his head like he's waiting, "We left them all there to come bowling instead," that gentle nice smile of Danny's comes out, "And our team is beating everyone else's," he points to the scoreboards and yep we are light years ahead of the competition.

"Hmm," Dad's staring at the board, "Fine," he nods at Danny, "Have fun with the rest of your game, it says there you bought another game?"

"Yes Sheriff," Danny relaxes next to me and I wait to see what happens next, I have a bad feeling about his for some reason.

"Hope you folks have a good evening," Dad is clearly saying to pretty much everyone in here, "Stiles. Home. Now."

Part of me wants to protest and say it's unfair, instead I wrap my arms around my middle and try not to show how much that hurt me, that I'm being punished and it wasn't even me, "Yes sir," I stare down at my feet and say, "Danny, sorry I won't be able to give you a lift home, are you okay getting a ride?"

"Yeah," he sounds unhappy, "Sure, don't worry about it Stiles…"

"'Kay," I nod and keeping my eyes on the floor I head straight to the shoe check in, I toe off the bowling alley shoes and hand them over without a word, I then pull my own sneakers on and walk out of the place to my jeep.

I'm careful to drive home under the limit and after locking my baby I go to my room and collapse onto my bed. Grabbing my pillow I scream into it and pound my fists on the mattress.

Eventually the tantrum passes and I lay there wallowing in my sorrows and vowing not to do that again. No more going out, I have to stay home and either do homework or work out, I don't get to have a normal life to hide behind.

Dad doesn't come home until three in the morning, I listen to him walk in and come up the stairs, he pauses outside my room, but I've left the door open on purpose, he only has to pop his head around the frame to see that I'm here, that I've not disobeyed him.

His footsteps start up and he goes to his room, when his door shuts I breathe out and I hadn't even realised I'd been holding my breath.

I slide my hand under my pillow and touch the PJs Peter got me, I know they look like they could belong to either a boy or a girl but I daren't risk dad finding out about them, just in case, so I'll have to keep them hidden and only get them out when I'm sure I'm alone.

Dawn starts creeping up on me and I'm still awake laying on my bed and wishing that I were dead, the world would be a better place without me in it. Dad leaves the house at seven, and only then do I move, and that's to hide my PJs. I have homework to do, I have to get out of here, out of Beacon Hills, there's nothing and nowhere here for me.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	9. Chapter 9

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**09 **

The hallways go silent as I walk through them, I'm not that surprised, it's Monday morning and a special assembly has been called for a special 'chat' from the local Sheriff's Department on the dangers of drugs and alcohol. And to top that off I've heard how dad dragged everyone left at the party in and is holding charges above most of their heads.

Awesome.

Walking into the gym with the rest of the juniors I sit off to one side, coincidentally the spot furthest from where dad is about to lecture us all, distance won't save me in the slightest and I wrap my arms around my middle as I stare down at the gym floor.

Maybe if I wish hard enough the floor will open up and I can fall into a giant hole, one that can close up on me and I can vanish never to be seen again. Normally crushing sensations can trigger off panic attacks, instead I'm fantasying about dirt being forced down my throat as I'm buried alive, and then it would be over.

I tune out as much of the talk as I can, I've heard it so many times now, dad practices at home so I've had the versions where he forgets his lines or says the wrong word, or in one memorable case he burped, that one was hilarious.

At the end when we can leave I scram as fast as I can being careful not to look at people, at my locker I grab my things and go to class. I spent Sunday at home catching up with my homework, I'm a little ahead so that's good, I hand in my assignment from last week and get a bewildered teacher thanking me and muttering that it wasn't due for another month.

Dashing between lessons I'm careful to avoid as many people as I can, passing an empty classroom I feel a big hand land on my shoulder, I'm spun around to see Trent and his cronies, and then I'm in the empty classroom with them.

Trent is standing there trying to look tough, but I've faced worse threats than him. He swaggers up to where his two cronies are holding me in place, "Stinksi," he says and cracks up as if making fun of my name is something new and original. "Got busted by your daddy on Saturday."

Him and a lot of kids in this school.

"My parents found out and then they found my drugs stash in my room," he sneers it at me and my god he's such a cartoon villain, "I had to endure them lecturing me and now I get to school to find your daddy lecturing us again," I'm not sure what point he's trying to make and lift an eyebrow at him. "This means I'm not happy you freak, and you're gonna pay for it, because I know this is all your fault."

Right.

It's my fault he's a stupid moron who can't even work out how to safely stash whatever drugs he's on, though suddenly his violent behaviour starts to make sense if he has a drug problem, and why he's such a moron, drugs do tend to make a dent in the brain's ability to work.

Huh.

And then as I'm securely held in place, he lashes out with a fist and it connects with my stomach driving the air out of my body. I grunt but that's all I give Trent as his fist smashes into me a dozen times. He's not very good at this, at least Gerard knew what he was doing as he beat me in the Argent's torture basement.

"Hey!" A female voice calls out and I'm suddenly dropped like a stone, I glance up to see the Spanish teacher standing there, her jaw has dropped open and then Mr Harris is standing behind her.

"What's going on here?" The chemistry teacher demands.

"Nothing," Trent mutters and gets overruled by the Spanish teacher who saw him punch me at least twice, and also saw Trent accost me to drag me into this classroom.

"The Principal's office now," Mr Harris says and I stagger to my feet wincing at the pain in my stomach, "Apart from you Mr Stilinski, you're going to the nurse and depending on her verdict you may be going to the hospital."

Oh my god, not the hospital, dad will be so disappointed if I end up in there. Resigned I follow the Spanish teacher to the nurse, who examines me and pronounces me fit to go to the Principal's office, no doubt to be punished.

It wasn't even my fault.

Trent's the biggest idiot in the history of idiots…

Sighing I trudge to the Principal's office and take a seat by myself, Trent is sitting between his two cronies and looking way too smug for my liking. Mr Harris is standing to one side as he confers with the Spanish teacher.

I'm quickly bored and I start to go over the dates of the Second World War to see how much of it I've memorised already, I've always wondered how the werewolves coped with having large armies invade their territories and lay waste to large areas as they grappled for land against each other. Would the werewolves have joined in to get rid of the invaders? Or would they have lain as low as they could to escape detection?

I'm part of the way through the war when the door to the reception opens and a woman rushes in, "Oh god, I got a call about my Trent, is he here? Is he okay? Oh god, please let my baby be okay…"

And I thought the werewolves were dramatic by nature.

"Ah you're here," the Principal seemed to have been waiting for her, "This way, we need to talk about Trent's behaviour," the woman is ushered into the office and the door closed so we can't hear what's being said. Trent, however, is frowning darkly at the door and his hands keep curling into fists.

Both Mr Harris and the Spanish teacher are watching him out of the corners of their eyes, I briefly wonder what they're making of it and then the two cronies parents turn up, each of them has a pair of parents, so they weren't simply spawned onto the earth to harass me and the other kids. They join Trent's mom in the Principal's office and we go back to waiting.

Whatever's being said through there is taking time and my dad arrives before they come out, Mr Harris meets him at the door and they go out into the corridor, that door is also closed and my stomach clenches at the thought of just how mad dad is going to be at me, he's going to give me his disappointed face I know he is, and then he'll spend even less time at the house.

Wrapping my arms around my middle I hunch my shoulders and draw my knees up to my chest. That clearly isn't working so I wrap my arms around the legs I've just brought up. That's better. I rest my chin on my knees and try to go back to the WWII dates but my mind's ability to focus is shot to hell more than it normally is.

Glancing up I see the Spanish teacher frowning as she stares at me and I jerk my eyes away, god even she can see what a screw up I am, how useless I must be and how I must be giving away Stella's existence in everything I do, god dad is going to end up paying for this, again, one more Stiles Stilinski mess to explode in his life.

I'm literally the worst son in the whole world.

And then Mr Harris and my dad are walking in, "Stiles," dad calls my name and I can't hide the slight flinch, god I can't look at him right now, I can't see how much he hates me right now.

Someone sits next to me and it has to be dad except he's not hugging me, and that tells me everything I need to know, he really does hate me now, he can't even hug me anymore.

"Stiles," and that's dad's voice but it's not next to me, it's in front of me. I look up to see Mr Harris stopping my dad from coming to me, the person sitting next to me is the Spanish teacher and it's like they're keeping him away from me.

Weird.

It's me they need to keep away from his life.

And that's when the other parents all come out of the Principal's office, they look absolutely shattered as the Principal tells them, "You understand my hands are tied here, your sons' behaviours are so far out of line I cannot allow the other pupils to be placed at risk because of them, we've tried contacting you and all of you have avoided this, so please take your sons and leave the school, their letters of expulsion will follow. Please feel free to take it up with the school governors but I will be informing them of everything that's transpired and I extremely doubt they will let your sons back into this school."

Oh my god.

For once in my life I have gossip, and I have no one I can tell it to.

The three kids and their parents are shooed out of the office and Trent's mom looks dumbstruck like she can't believe her son is a complete dick. In the silence of their leaving we all stay still and then the Principal is clearing his throat, "Sheriff Stilinski," and by the tone of his voice it sounds like dad's in trouble, oh god I got dad into trouble again, I'm so shit as a son, and it's not as if I'm a son because I'm a daughter too.

I'm so screwed up, and I'm screwing everyone else up too.

Dad is shown into the Principal's office and Mr Harris takes the other seat next to mine, we sit in silence and I stay as curled up and protected as I can. My eyes flick to the closed door over and over as I frantically try and think of anything I've done wrong recently. I've been so good lately, I'm up to date with all my school work, I've not gone off on tangents, I've not missed any lessons, I'm back on the team which is doing well, I've not gone to parties except for this weekend, oh god it was this weekend wasn't it. Shit, shit, shit, I knew I shouldn't have gone, I should have gone home and done homework.

Against the rules of physics I try and sink further into the seat as I grip my legs tighter. I'm so crap at handling situations like this that I don't notice when Stella slips out and takes over, it's not until I realise I've somehow crossed my ankles and that I've threaded my fingers together that I know I'm Stella now. I'm outwardly calmer, the tension knotting my body is still there but I push past it and focus on my breathing to stave off an imminent session of hyperventilating.

The Spanish teacher is called in and I watch her go from under my eyelashes, these are the moments I wish I had long hair I could hide behind, but I don't, though maybe I could grow it out a little, not much, Stiles is too lazy to do anything with my hair and Stella doesn't really care about hair apart from wanting to do things like braid it.

"Mr Stilinski," Mr Harris' voice is low and soft, "I have something for you," he hands me a little booklet, "Inside are various numbers and websites, please," he emphasises the word, "Call one of them or visit one of the sites. If you don't feel safe or comfortable doing so at home, well we have school computers, I'll make sure you have uninterrupted access, you just have to ask, or we have phones you can use here."

Opening up the little booklet makes it unfold and there are numbers there for suicides hotlines, drug and alcohol addiction, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and there's something listed under the LGBT section, something called the Trevor Project. I fold it back up and slip it into a pocket, "Thank you Mr Harris," I tell him and my Stella side is very much in control, my tone and pitch is out of sync to Stiles, I just hope he doesn't notice.

He nods and we sit a bit longer.

When the door to the office opens dad looks shaken and upset, this is bad, I'm in so much trouble and then he turns to the Principal, "Thank you, I'll take Stiles to the hospital and get him double checked, he'll be home sick today."

They shake hands amicably and the Principal says, "Stiles, my door is always open if you need it, okay?"

"Yes sir," Is the only response I have, because I've no idea why I'd go to the Principal's office on my own anyway. I go to follow dad and Mr Harris' hand touches my shoulder, he squeezes slightly and nods to me, I think he's being supportive so I give him a shy smile and wonder what the hell happened to him to make him be nice to me.

Dad doesn't say anything as we walk out and I'm careful to keep my arms around my middle, to stay one step behind him and I'm startled when he takes me to my locker, I get my things and he even carries the stuff I take out, "The Principal said Coach Finstock would make sure anything of yours in the locker room was taken care of," I nod and then, "So you okay to drive home? I'll take you to the hospital afterwards? Melissa should be on today."

"I'm fine to drive home sir," I stare down at my shoes and I'm glad that as Stella I don't mind the footwear I'm in today.

"Okay son," I hide my flinch at being called a boy and his son, because he's already proved I'm too much of a disappointment to him when he stayed away at Christmas and threw the presents I got him in the trash.

We drive home and I drop my baby off and take my things inside, then we drive to the hospital in silence, a couple of times dad goes to say something but he stops and that's another sign I'm not really his son anymore, not that I'm really a boy at the moment either.

At the hospital we wait to one side and I pull my legs up to wrap my arms around them, it's so comfy like that and I can pillow my head on my knees. I stare at the floor and start to count the tiles and make patterns out of them in my head. Stella is still very much in control and I'm so much less of a fidget when I'm her, I also tend to daydream more as her, mostly about the kind of clothes I could buy when I leave this town, I think of the pretty dresses made out of all sorts of fabrics I could own and wear in the safety of my, as yet, unknown home.

It's soothing and I know I've crossed my ankles and twined my fingers together as I sit there all scrunched up, it hurts my stomach and chest but it feels good to sit like this.

"Stiles. Honey?" It's Mrs McCall, "We're ready now," she beckons to me and I unravel myself wincing at the pull of my bruises, I'm going to have some spectacular colours on my front when they've finished blooming on my skin.

Mrs McCall leads me to a room and I look back to see dad sitting anxiously on the seat, he's not coming with me and I stop in my tracks, "Dad?" Why doesn't he want to come in with me?

"It's okay," Mrs McCall lies to me, I know some of her tells and I take a few steps back, she softens and comes to me, "Really Stiles, it's okay, it's going to be okay, just let the doctor examine you and you can go home," that one is the truth and I let her sweep me into the room.

There's a doctor standing there, he's reading a huge pile of notes, they must be mine, I had a lot of accidents when I was a kid, "Ah," he pauses and studies my notes more, he's either going to attempt to read my real name or he'll wuss out and use my surname, "Mr Stilinski," bingo, "Please take your t-shirts off and I'll examine your stomach and chest for you…"

I zone out a little, he wants to see my chest, I'm female right now and he wants to see my female wrapped in a male body chest, in effect my boobs. I'm sure there are rules against that.

Instinctively I wrap my arms around my breast area, it doesn't matter that they are technically not boobs, that I'm flat there, I'm female and he's male and I don't want him looking at me there. Stepping closer to Mrs McCall I shake my head.

"Stiles," her hand touches my arm, "Are you okay?"

Crap.

"Err, yeah?" My voice is wavering a bit and I must be stressing out because the doctor steps closer to me and I'm not aware of running but I'm out of the room and bolting down the corridor past dad who calls my name.

Exiting the building at high speed I angle straight for the cruiser and when I reach it I lean against it breathing heavily, and that's when I find out I'm shaking and shivering, god what's wrong with me? I just really didn't want the doctor to see me, and I really didn't want some man pawing at my chest either, I didn't want him pressing down on it like Gerard did as he said bad things to me, about me, about dad.

"Stiles!" Dad is jogging over to me, "Stiles, it's okay," people keep saying that and it really isn't, "What happened? I don't understand…"

"I just want to go home, can we go home, please?" Oh god, please just let us go home.

"We should get you checked to make sure your ribs are okay…" He's wavering.

"They're fine, really, they're great," I know it's useless but I try making pleading eyes, they haven't worked in years and frankly he hates me so he's going to march in there and make me take my top off in from of a guy, and then that guy's going to touch me when I don't want him to.

Dad straightens up and this is it, this is the point he forces me inside, "Get in the car Stiles, I'll sort this out, okay?"

Wait, he said what?

"Thank you," I clamber into the car at top speed and slam the door after me, I even jam the seatbelt on so I'll be harder to drag out of the car, he sighs and walks away from me and into the hospital.

I try not to let the sigh and the visual of him walking away get to me, he had to walk away from me to get me out of the examination, and frankly he's been sighing around me and Scott for years, there's nothing to worry about, I've only fled from a doctor and gotten beaten up like a weakling again, what's to worry about?

Oh my god, I'm even more screwed than I thought.

Checking my watch obsessively, the fifteen minutes he's gone crawl past and I fidget in the car, I resist turning on the lights and sirens, they're pretty cool but I don't want to call attention to myself right now.

Mrs McCall walks out with dad and they stand there talking for another ten minutes, I have no idea what they're talking about but dad's upset and agitated, I've really made a mess of this, like I make a mess of everything, always, it's like I'm cursed except it's because I'm put together wrong.

Dad gets in the car and we drive home in silence, at home I try to slope off to my room but he insists that I sit down with him and watch a game together, as Stella I'm not that interested in football and frankly as Stiles I'm not that interested either, but it makes dad happier.

We cook a simple dinner together and I like puttering around the kitchen as Stella, I put a few extra things on the chicken pieces and we whack them in the oven to cook, the veg are boiled and I whip up some gravy, the old fashioned way. I give dad a few tentative smiles and he smiles back so I get more confident.

Perhaps being around Danny and learning his idea of the perfect fantasy Stiles was a good idea, because by the time we dish up dad's relaxed, and all I had to do was shut down everything that's me, I can do that, I can pretend to not be me, both parts of me.

Sitting at the table we eat in silence but it's more comfortable now, he digs in and that's enough to make me hungry too, I need my food after all and it's all good healthy food, it will help me stay strong and fit, it will help me look normal.

I volunteer to wash up and dad picks up the cloth to dry without being asked, we work in harmony and I'm so damn hopeful, maybe, just maybe, we can work out some of the issues I've created and things won't be so bad between us.

Emptying the sink I start putting things away and as the last plate slides in place I pat it and turn to dad, "Um, I still have some homework to do," but part of me is hoping he brought something home too, something small, we could both sit at the table and work on our own things, together.

"Okay," he's smiling and then the phone rings, he looks at the caller ID and reaches for the phone, "Melissa," oh it's Mrs McCall.

Leaving him to his call I almost dance up the stairs, god I can't believe things are going so well right now, this is amazing. Gathering up the smallest, simplest piece of homework I can find, I head for the stairs and get ready to spend some quiet time with dad, and I'm thankful for Danny and the accidental discovery that quiet Stiles is more socially acceptable.

Pausing at the top of the stairs I shamelessly eavesdrop on him, "No, he's upstairs doing 'homework' again, I've popped my head around the door before so I know that's exactly what he's doing," he stops and then says, "It's just, earlier, the way he was acting, how he did things was so different, and it really reminded me of his mom," my heart thumps at the reminder of her, god I miss her so much, "No, not the little things, he does that all the time, he has her smile and her laugh," wow really? I stay where I am and listen harder, huh, who said eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves? Well they clearly never got told they were like their mom and that they had her smile and her laugh, I loved her smile and her laugh.

"No Melissa, you don't get it, he wasn't acting like STILES, he was acting like a… God, I don't know how to say this, it sounds strange but then he's been strange for a while," my stomach starts to knot up, he noticed me as Stella, he noticed there was something different about me, strange. "It was almost as if he were a girl, the way he moved, the way he spoke," there's a break in the conversation, "I don't know, I really don't, it's not like he talks to me anymore, he's shut himself off from Scott, I just don't know what to do with him…"

Carefully I creep back along the hall and I put my homework back on my table, turning things off in my brain I do the homework and then I do more homework.

Footsteps on the stairs let me know he's coming and I look up to see him there, he's going to watch TV and I nod and keep working. I work solidly up to the point that he goes to bed, then I go to bed too. Only then do I let myself curl up into a ball, and stuffing the covers in my mouth I let myself cry, because dad came damn close to finding out about me, and he called me strange, he thinks I'm the one who ditched Scott and maybe he's right because I've joined Derek's pack now.

An hour later I sneak to the bathroom, I wash my face and I climb into bed properly, I don't bother to undress and I certainly don't wear the PJs they'll have to be another of my secrets.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

I'm fairly certain the booklet doesn't really exist, I wish it did, it might just help someone.


	10. Chapter 10

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**10 **

For the rest of the week I'm extra careful. I go to the library at lunch, I do my best to focus in class, no one talks to me but that's expected and it means I can't upset anyone, all my homework is done and in as soon as possible, at home I stick to my room as much as I can and I force Stiles front and centre as I lock up Stella.

At practice I'm not allowed to join in and I'll be sitting the game out this Saturday, Coach is furious and I redouble my efforts to be part of the team by volunteering to fetch and carry, I do some of his paperwork for him, and I'm not kicked off the team. The team members that were caught by dad last weekend are given a long talk about random drugs tests and scholarships drying up if they test positive, how these are the moments for them to earn their tickets out of this town and to the colleges they want to get into.

And I make sure not to be alone with those boys just in case they decide to pull a Trent on me.

Surprisingly Danny is being un-nice to some of the guys and has said that it's their faults and they have no one to blame but themselves, they grumble and take it and look more upset at that than Coach's speech.

I've taken some time out, which I'd normally use to exercise, and I've done research on our opponents for Saturday, making some notes I bring them to Coach and this practice is tailored to help the guys win tomorrow, if we can adapt ourselves we can take advantage of their weaknesses and build a defence to withstand their strengths.

It's weird that Coach and I confer and then the guys are running around the field and practicing what I'm telling them to do, most of them are even being respectful to me, I'm so not used to that. I'm also the only person Danny's being friendly to, he's not happy with the others and it shows, only I don't know why.

Going home afterwards I eat with dad and then escape to my room, it's harder and harder to keep Stella down each day, it's like the pressure inside of me is getting the point where I go 'bang' and an exploding Stiles is not a good thing at all.

I'm in the middle of my biology homework when the front door bell rings, it must be someone for dad, no one is going to come over for me, not since Scott left me for Allison, so I ignore it and go back to work.

The soft knock on my door makes me look up to see dad standing there looking confused, "You have three visitors, they want to know if you want to go see a movie."

I have three visitors?

Do I know three people that would turn up at my house and want to spend time with me?

No, no I don't know those people, but sheer curiosity has me going downstairs to find Isaac, Erika and Boyd standing in the hallway. "Hey Brucie," Erika purrs at me, "Wanna go sit in the dark and watch some moving pictures? I hear they have sound and colour these days..." If anything she's over doing the predatory thing though I notice she's wearing a t-shirt with the head of a feline on it, so I'm assuming she's being more Catwoman today than normal.

"Really Selena," I play along because I can and watching Isaac look confused is amusing, "That's your best offer? What happened to running over rooftops and fighting crime dynamically?"

"It's supposed to rain later and I just did my hair," she deadpans back and my mouth twitches nearly curling up into a smile.

"And we can't have the rain ruining your hair," I agree with her and wish I could have hair that flows like that, I bet it feels amazing, there are so many accessorizes I could use on it too.

"No we can't," she stalks forward, "So you up for a movie? There's nothing new on, but we thought you might want to come out and play, after all too much work makes Jack a dull boy," she pouts and if I didn't know her better I'd be taken in by her flirty ways, instead she just scares me, I still remember being hit in the head with one of my own car parts.

"Um, I have homework to do," and I do want to get out of the house and technically we're all Pack so I should be safe with them, but last time I went out it caused trouble for everyone and I'm not going to do that again.

"You can take a break for an evening Stiles," Dad's leaning against a wall watching me, "Just make sure you're back by eleven, you have a game tomorrow and don't get into trouble," he pulls out his wallet and offers me some money, "Have fun and call me if you need anything, anything at all okay?"

"Yes sir," I fall back on politeness and stare at the money he's just given to me, he's never done that before, ever, and I don't understand why he's encouraging me to go out, but I play along, "I need to save my work and grab a jacket." Fleeing up the stairs I hurriedly shut down the laptop and snag my hoodie and a jacket. Bounding down the stairs I wince as I pull at my bruises and then I drag my sneakers on and follow the three werewolves out the door.

Boyd's driving a car I've never seen before and I clamber into the back with Isaac, of course Erika is up front, not that I'm fighting her for the privilege she'd neuter me in seconds. Pulling away from the curb Boyd heads towards town and I ask, "So where are we really going?" Perhaps Derek had them pick me up so I could help with some kind of research for them, I'm good with Google and I'm proud of putting together so much about werewolves and then the Argents so we could pin Peter's murders on Kate because she's a psycho killer who burns down peoples' homes for giggles and stuff.

"To the movies," Isaac eyes me up like I'm weird, "Derek said we had to do things together because we're a Pack, now that the latest monster is dead we've got time to chill out."

So we really are going to the movies, and the thing that Peter came to me to get the Bestiary for is dead, that's one less thing to worry about, dad won't be accidently running into that thing ever. "Okay," I sit back and try to hang onto fantasy Stiles of the few words and non-flailing, it won't last long but maybe I can duck into the toilets when I need to flail, though hiding the talking will be difficult as I'll be surrounded by werewolves with super wolfy hearing.

I get taken to the old movie theatre that does reruns of classics and today it's running WALL-E and The Reader and that last one is kinda depressing, plus it's a hoot to see Derek Hale sitting in the old movie theatre, with a giant popcorn bucket preparing to see a kids animation about a little robot who's all alone and then… Huh, maybe this could be good for him, get him in touch with his inner WALL-E or something.

For some reason the three Beta wolves sit in front and I sit between Derek and Peter, who's creeping and being himself, which is wrong when we're watching this movie. The giant bucket of popcorn is plopped in my lap and then the movie is on and I sit there and watch a little lonely robot find that tiny fragile plant, and fall in love with EVE.

By the end I'm sniffing to myself and Peter hands me a tissue to wipe my eyes with and then blow my nose, both sides of me love this movie, and Stella would be all gushy by now, but I'm Stiles so I can man up and pretend I just have something in my eye, like a tree branch.

No one says anything and I get taken home by the three Betas and I let myself into the house, where dad is diligently working on some case files, I don't try and crane my neck to see what they are, "That was quick," he says and glances at the clock.

"Yeah, we went to the old movie theatre and saw WALL-E," I stand there and scuff my foot trying not to be a problem for him. I'm not sure if taking me to the movies makes me a genuine Pack member or the convenient human tag along, and Peter said they need me for human touch, but no one hugged me. I'm just confused about the whole evening.

"Oh, well it's nice that you're going out with friends," he hesitates, "You shouldn't be cooped up in here all the time Stiles."

But when I went to the party and then bowling he was upset, or has he decided I'm allowed out, or... My head is going to start hurting if I keep thinking about this.

"Okay," I answer him and then point to the stairs, "I'm going to go read and then go to sleep, I still have a game tomorrow."

"Okay son, sleep well, and I might be able to get some time off to come see the game," he says.

"Oh, I'm not playing," I point out and then mentally kick myself, he's not really coming to see me, he's probably coming to see Scott who'll get to play as I'll be benched.

"I still want to be there," and I stare down at my feet and nod as I wrap my arms around my middle, it's hard to know he'll be there and he won't be cheering me on, though maybe that's a good thing, I'd only fall over my feet and make a fool of myself which would make dad look foolish too.

"Night," I don't wait for his answer and I flee up the stairs to my room.

I really do have some reading and I settle on my bed trying not to jostle my bruises as I catch up with my English reading assignment, it's the normal boring ones with little happening except so called character growth and development, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to pad out an essay on this piece of shit, nothing exciting occurs throughout the whole book, how the hell did the author get paid for this?

Dad comes up to bed and I wait for him to shut his door, then I wait another thirty minutes. Only then do I get ready for bed and I slip my new PJ top on, I need something to help centre me and I should be able to get away with this paired with some sweatpants, that's masculine enough, though I'm aware of the dual feminine nature of the top and its perfect to help me fall asleep.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	11. Chapter 11

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**11 **

Surprisingly we win the game.

And by surprising I mean we nearly lost.

Scott and Jackson were both playing and being assholes again, in the end I got Coach to separate them, only one of them was on the field at any one time, that way they weren't working against each other and the team only had to pass to them to score.

Except the team didn't want to pass to them so they could score, the team has gotten used to working together and not having a star player they have to please all the time, so the team acted out.

Coach has nearly lost his voice from screaming, the crowd are restless, and the team aren't talking to Scott or Jackson.

But we still won.

We get to go and shower and I'm expecting the same kind of atmosphere as last time, jubilant and ready to party, not that I'm going to a party I'm going home, I've learnt from the last party. I'm doing homework tonight. Instead the atmosphere is tense and unhappy, really unhappy, everyone realises just how close to losing they came and they don't like it.

It isn't until I'm packing up and getting ready to leave for my exciting evening snuggled up with the shitty English book that is supposed to be a classic, but is turning out so fucking dull I'm going to end up searching for study notes on the internet just to get out of reading it, that it all kicks off.

One moment I'm lacing up my sneakers and the next Danny is right up in my space and saying, "So Stiles, you're still okay for the lift right?" And I'm baffled as to what lift I'm giving him because I'm going home.

"Yeah," and then Greenburg is there too, "I'm behind on my economics."

Before I understand what the hell is going on I'm grabbed by Danny and dragged out of the locker room and out into the parking lot. I'm too stunned to struggle and it's not until I'm by my jeep that I realise the rest of the lacrosse team is behind me and they're all talking about coming to my house, loudly.

Oh my god.

Dad is going to kill me. He was so upset I went bowling with the team what the hell is he going to do when he finds them all in our house?

"Stiles?" It's dad, of course its dad, he's appeared behind us. I'm going to get into trouble and it's not even my fault.

"Hey sir," Automatically I wrap my arms around me and brace for the disappointed look and lecture.

"Sheriff," Danny steps forward, "We're just turning up to do homework at your house, we won't stay long and we won't damage anything." There are murmurs from around him, positive ones, as if this is something that popular jocks do after winning a game.

"Okay," dad is just as confused as I am, "I won't be that long, we have soda in the cupboard and snacks hidden in the pantry… So I'll see you soon?"

"Yes sir," and Danny grabs my arm to propel me the last few feet towards my jeep, under his breathe he hisses, "Drive, carefully, but drive."

As I appear to be in some alternate universe I do as I'm told. We all end up at my house and a bunch of jocks are soon sprawled out over the living room with various sodas and snacks as they pull out homework.

And then they actually do homework.

I do notice that there is no Scott or Jackson. But there is Isaac and Boyd, who are also doing homework. Both of whom can hear me whisper from the other side of the room, "What the hell is going on?"

The only reaction I get is a glance from Isaac, who stands up and asks, "Stiles, is there anymore of this?" He waggles his glass at me.

"Sure," I smoothly get to my feet, by flailing a lot, and then I pick my way out of the living room to meet him in the kitchen. I point to the soda bottles lined up on the kitchen counter and he starts to refill his glass.

Jerking his head to indicate I should get closer he waits for me to sidle up to him, "It's Danny's idea. He's really pissed at Jackson and most of the team, he's making them do this, he's also making a point of telling the teachers that the team has learnt its collective lesson and is ready to show how willing it is to not get in trouble," I guess the being busted thing struck a nerve for a lot of people.

"Oh," I guess that makes sense.

"Plus this way we can show you some support too," Isaac gently elbows me, "And as we're Pack now we'll keep an eye out for you. Derek wants to know if you're free this Sunday for a run, he'll tone it down for you, but he says it will push you more than Coach does," and then Isaac scrunches up his face as if wanting to push yourself is a bad thing.

"Maybe. I'll have to see what Dad says," I hedge, and running with werewolves, when I'm not running for my life, is a very stamina building exercise.

"Okay," and Isaac disappears out of the kitchen.

I re-join the guys and bury myself in my homework. Dad comes home and he's brought more snacks with him, the snacks are greeted with enthusiasm and dad sits at the kitchen table with some reports, so the noise level never gets very high.

Bemused I give up reading the dumb book and snag some math instead all the while shaking my head at how I've ended up with most of the team at my house studying.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	12. Chapter 12

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**12**

Groaning I lean against my jeep and try not to vomit. Every muscle is like jelly and damn it we ran for freaking miles, but the endorphin rush is amazing. Dad let me come for a run with Isaac and Boyd, he's not expecting me back until tonight.

The wolves all wander up and look annoyingly perfect. Derek has barely broken a sweat and the three teens are restless, I'd feel bad about them holding back for me but I kept up with them the whole way and only stumbled twice.

Peter saunters up to me and not one hair is out of place on his head, his jogging gear is as clean as when he first started, it's like he's just stepped out of his house, or a modelling shoot. Except I know he loped along for the run acting like it was the warm up to the main event. "Ready?" He asks and I swallow, or try to as my throat is dry.

Derek did tell his Betas about me, he wanted me to be able to be male or female in the apartment, and he asked me before he did it. I'm not sure what made me say yes, but Peter was there too and he seemed to think it was a good idea.

Derek apparently did some research first.

He even did a power point presentation, I didn't know he could even turn on a computer, and has explained that I'm Trans to the other wolves and that means if any of them pick on me or make fun of me, he'll rip their throats out, but with his claws, not his teeth. I'm not sure if that makes me special because he threatens to use his teeth on me.

Not one of the Betas has said anything nasty to me and they're making a point of calling me 'Stiles' and trying not to use gender words around me. I was really freaked out to start with but now I'm too tired. Derek's taking the Betas for a longer, faster run, while Peter is taking me to the apartment, for a surprise.

I'm too exhausted to point out that the surprise is probably being dissected alive by the resident psychopath. I dig my keys out of my pocket and grunt as Peter steals them from me, he points to the passenger side of my jeep and I wordlessly stagger around there and then climb in.

Peter's made sure I warmed up properly and then down again, but man, my legs and my everything…

* * *

… "Stiles," a voice is calling to me and I wiggle away because I'm so damn tired…

* * *

… I wake up with a jerk and realise I'm not in my room. My eyes dart about to see I'm in a bedroom, one decorated tastefully, in burgundy. And there's someone in my arms, someone I'm spooning.

A someone I've woken up with before, because I'm cuddling Peter freaking Hale again. We were going back to the Pack apartment, so I must be there in Peter's bedroom. He's still wearing his workout gear. For a few seconds I panic and realise I'm still in my muddy, sweaty, workout gear, in fact I kind of smell of sweat.

"Stiles," Peter rumbles softly, "Your heart is beating so quickly," he sounds sleepy, "Did you have a nightmare?"

"Noooo," I draw the word out, "Just wasn't expecting to wake up here, like this…"

"But we talked about the human touch thing," he doesn't let me finish, and to my shock he twists around in my arms so we're face to face. Even my nightmares have never done this to me and I have no idea what to do next, to the point that my brain is shutting down wondering whether to fight or take flight. "And you fell asleep in the car on the way back, what was I supposed to do?" He's face has that exaggerated 'I'm not the bad guy' innocent look that never worked on me the first time. "Did you want to use the shower? I brought your bag with your things in it up too…"

I'm holding a guy in my arms and discussing showers.

A scary guy.

"Or…" he smiles at me and I know he's up to something, "You could see the surprise I made you…"

"Surprise?" I have literally no idea what Peter would consider to be a surprise for me, other than killing me or something, though he's been behaving himself since he rose from the dead, well as much as Peter is capable of behaving.

The feral hungry smile on his face does nothing to help calm me down and Peter slips out of my arms and pads over to a wardrobe, "Yes, I made you a surprise…" He reaches in and pulls something out, or somethings, it looks like clothes and then he spins, dramatically, "See I altered some leggings for Stella, and I found a delightful little blouse you could wear over a lovely top, you'll notice the stitching on the top is a stylised wolf's head in gold thread on black." He brings them over to me and wafts them at me, I don't even fight it as Stella rises up, I'm too surprised to do anything but reach out to the clothes.

"Peter," I nearly don't want to touch the clothes because I've not washed yet, the leggings are that black stretchy material, the top matches it from what I can see, and both of them have golden threads glittering in the light. The blouse is a thin, see through material in a pale yellow, I think there is more golden thread on it too.

"Go and shower Miss Stilinski, and then we can play dress up until the others get here," and this is probably the most excited I've ever seen him, "Oh, wait I have something else for you," the clothes are placed on the bed and Peter almost prances over to his dresser. "I had to guess at the sizes but I think I'm right. Well of course I'm right, or close to it."

And then I discover that Peter's bought me women's underwear, in yellow. It's a pretty matching set and as Stella I really want to own them, but both sides of me are one hundred percent in agreement that a grown werewolf shouldn't be buying me underwear.

"And I got these to go in the bra for you," he's even gotten false inserts and he puts one of them in my hand. I've done my best to never look at this stuff at home, there is no way I want my dad to be able to trace any of my web searches and find out I'm different. But I may have stolen Greenburg's log on and checked at school, and these are the silicone gel filled ones, similar to the ones used in breast operations, they're supposed to have the feel and weight of a real breast.

And I want them so badly.

"I…" Oh holy mother of god do I want those.

They're only small, only a slight handful but they'd be mine and my chest as Stella wouldn't be flat, I'd have minor cleavage, some kind of feminine shape, I wouldn't have to keep pretending I'm just a late bloomer because my male body won't grow breasts. I've had the mental conversation with myself so many times, as Stiles I don't need them at all, as Stella I don't need them but I want them, as an outward sign of femininity, which is dumb because I'm sometimes female and the body shouldn't matter.

"And…" Peter's predatory grin gets bigger, "I found this too," he hurries over to a door and vanishes through to reappear carrying a blank dummy's head and on the head is a wig, a wig in the same colour as my hair, and the wig's hair is long, really long. "I also made a matching hair band to go with the blouse, and there were some fetching accessories I can't wait to weave into your hair."

He's offering me everything I've ever wanted as a girl.

And all I have to do is accept gifts from Peter.

"I…" I really want this, all of this.

"Stella," Peter's crept closer to me, "Think of all the things I can make for you, all the hours of dressing up we can do, the shopping, the fabrics, the designs I can dream up. You've not been infected by Derek's ridiculous addiction to leather, yes it has its place but not all the time, I can dress you the way you should be dressed, and if you like how you look, well I can work on some things for Stiles too." He's kneeling on the floor by the bed and acting a bit like a kid at Christmas.

"I…" I want the things he's bought so badly, but I don't want to owe Peter Hale anything, he's proved himself to not be a very stable cookie.

"Say yes," he leans on the bed, "Erika won't wear the dresses I keep drawing, Isaac lives in his leather jacket, Boyd argues with me over colours and then turns his nose up, and Derek threatened to throw my future sewing machine in the river if I 'annoyed' him with my demands. Say yes Stella, let yourself enjoy being feminine in clothes that will be tailor made for you, say yes and I can finally have one well-dressed person in the whole of Beacon Hills, I'm not counting myself because, really? I expect nothing but perfection from me, but you…" And he makes a dramatic hand motion to me, "Plaid? All the time? Please let me dress you as Stella, please."

I suppose that means I'd be doing him a favour…

"We could try it?" I suggest and I know Scott would be throwing a fit right now about giving in and playing nice with the enemy, but maybe I could learn how to dress the way I want to, how to pick the right clothes, how to wear them, how to do my hair, even if it is just a wig. "But there are some things I will not wear, I have my own tastes Peter, and I refuse to wear anything tight, or cut the wrong way."

"Oh Stella, my dear sweet young lady," he breathes it out, "You are not going to regret this, this is a match made in heaven."

Which is how I find myself in Peter's bathroom, in his shower, using the products he bought for me after a twenty minute tutorial on how to dress myself in the new clothes.

I sniff one of the bottles and the scent is faint, but, it has this thing, this something that calls to Stella and I luxuriate in the feel of the shower gel on my skin, it foams and the scent gets stronger filling the air around me, I breathe it in, god I've never been able to be Stella like this before. Any time I spent as her was furtive and guarded, I always had to keep an ear out for dad, and find ways to hide evidence of her from everyone. This is ridiculously freeing.

It's also ridiculously addicting.

Rinsing I turn off the shower and pat my skin dry. Peter's even got special lotion for me to use, it has natural ingredients so as not to upset the wolfy noses of my new Pack, but it sinks into my skin like a dream and I sigh at how good that is.

Towelling my hair some more I wait for the lotion to finish working its way in and I trail a finger up my side to silky soft skin. Ready to get dressed I steel myself to wear tighter clothes than I'm used to as either Stiles or Stella. If I don't like how they look I'm not wearing them, I prefer looser clothes and Peter is just going to have to accept that.

Reverently I caress the panties and I take my time slipping them on, the material almost whispering up my thighs, I've practiced the tucking thing and I'm mostly there as I settle the yellow panties in place. They aren't tiny little silly bits of string, they're proper panties and cover everything while still being feminine and pretty to wear, they even have little bows stitched on the sides. I study how they sit in the full length mirror Peter has in his bathroom, I'm so unsurprised by his vanity. The panties are full and cover everything including my ass, they're perfect.

Breathing out I have to steady myself for a few seconds, I've never worn a bra in my life, and I know that I don't need to have breasts to be female, but I really want them, I envy other girls and women their breasts, they don't know how lucky they are to have them.

Ignoring the slight shake in my hands I follow Peter's steps to putting bras on, he's warned me I probably won't be able to do it up behind my back, yet, that's more of an advanced course of bra fitting. Instead I do it up in front and twizzle it around, I have to adjust the straps a few times and I stare down at the empty cups on my chest.

Time to try out the inserts.

I nearly drop the first one because my hands are trembling that badly, but then the insert is slipped in and it fits.

It fits.

And I'm aware of this slight unfamiliar weight in front of me and I hurry to put the second insert in.

Oh my god.

I have breasts.

Kind of.

But I have them and I can't help but palm the bra softly. They're really there. My knees wobble and I have to lean against the cold tiled wall to steady myself, but I end up sliding down it and my new boobs bump my knees, I even feel it slightly through the bra and a very strange laugh is ripped from me.

Its not a panic attack, I know what that's like, this is different, bubbily, light headedness, an urge to run around screaming "YES" and I almost can't believe how good this is, but I've had a completely male body for so long that it's shocking how something so small can help me switch so completely to female, I love it, I really honestly love it.

Struggling to my feet I grab the leggings and hope to god that Peter knows what he's doing with clothes. Pulling them on, I smooth them down my legs and check to see if my bulge shows, it does, and I frown not liking it. Though now I can see the stitching down the side of the leggings, and there are geometric patterns in gold thread scrolling up the side of the leggings and I notice that I have really nice legs, and a tight little butt.

Huh.

As long as I can hide the obvious maleness of this body when I'm Stella, and wearing these leggings, they're not as bad as I thought they would be. The black works some kind of magic and I bask in the way they alter how I look in some mysterious way.

The top goes on next and it's not as tight as I thought it would be, it clings but doesn't cling, the gold in the top complimenting the gold in the leggings and the chest area curves over my breasts giving me a contour I've never had before. The top even disguises the slight bulge in my crotch more and I snatch at the yellow blouse.

Oh my god.

I stare at the finished product in the mirror and this is a thousand times better than my first dress, though I loved it so much and I always will, I can see me as a girl in the mirror, I can see how the clothes change things and I'm a girl, I'm really a girl.

My eyes sting making me blink rapidly to clear them.

I fumble the buttons at the base of the blouse, the final layer to hide the last remnant of my manliness, and all that's left is Stella, and I'm totally a girl.

For a few moments I waver and fidget, I'm not used to people really seeing me and I'm tempted to hide in here. Only Peter did buy me these clothes and he seemed really excited about dressing me up. And he did accept me as Stella.

I'm aiming for brazening it out but I'm too anxious, and as I step out from the shelter of his shower I stand there as he eyes me up and down, it isn't until he smiles that I relax, "Perfect, I knew it would be just perfect on you," he stalks towards me and I hold my ground, "Oh my dear Miss Stilinski," he twirls his finger and I blink not understanding at first. Hesitantly I turn on the spot slowly and he's still nodding. "Yes, this is so very you, we'll go modern classic, I've seen some lovely new designs on the internet. And one last thing to do, and that's your hair."

Oh my god, I get to have long hair.

Okay so it's a wig, I don't care, it's mine.

"I've taken the liberty of styling it already for you," Peter motions towards the wig and he has added a few things, I move closer to inspect it. "As you can see I've left most of it down, I've used a pair of plaits from the side to join at the back to keep the worst of it under control, and I've woven in a few hair jewels, note the gold and yellow ropes in the plaits," and it looks pretty. "Do you like it?" He asks me.

"Yes," I can't be anything but truthful, he'll hear my heart skip over the words, "The clothes and the hair are beautiful Peter."

"Well…" He almost shrugs it off, "I did enjoy myself. So let's try this on and I'll show you how to put on wigs."

Fifteen minutes later, and with a very through demonstration and tutorial on wig wearing, Peter tugs one last time and steps back, "Yes, that is the finishing touch to my masterpiece." And trust him to focus on that part, I get up from the seat he'd brought in and I let him lead me to the full length mirror

Staring back at me is a girl, her long dark hair falls down over her shoulders, but it stays contained in the ropes of hair and sparkling glass gems holding it back. Her body is neither slender nor fat, she's tall and lean with hints of power and working out. The clothes are flattering and bring out the light brown of her eyes and she's me. This amazing creature in the mirror is me.

"I'm pretty," I breathe it out, I thought I was okay for a guy, I'm not Danny or Jackson but I'm not a frog either. I thought I'd be ugly for a girl, all the things that work for me as a guy wouldn't work for me as a female, but somehow it all works just fine.

"Very," Peter says and I watch him touch up his clothes beside me, "I admit the clothes help a little, but there's only so much you can do with them, now what I could do with Stiles… As a boy you clean up very nicely, give me free reign on your wardrobe as a boy and I'll get rid of the plaid," he shudders, "Again its nice in moderation but you seem to have a fetish for it."

Glancing at his watch he shoos his hands at me, "Now let me go and clean up, the others will be here in an hour, I should just be about ready by then, feel free to roam around, the TV is hooked up, as is the internet, there are books and DVDs and I made lunch earlier it's sitting in the fridge."

Escorted to his bedroom door I'm let loose into their temporary apartment, they're staying here while they wait to complete everything on the new house near the edge of town.

Behind me the door shuts with a soft snick and I turn to explore this place, Stella is just as curious as Stiles, but slightly less destructive, only slightly though.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	13. Chapter 13

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**13**

Glancing around I can see the apartment isn't that small, in fact there's a living room and separate dining area, both are by the big windows and must give fantastic views, I sidle over there, I have an hour to kill and there's only so much noisiness I can fit in.

Skipping over to the table I can see its set with some very fetching gold and yellow flower sets, I'm sensing a theme from Peter, though I was right and the view from the window is out over the side landscaped area that's shared by the whole apartment block.

In the lounge are some nice cream couches and a large screen TV with a few consoles rigged up to it, those must be for Isaac and I can see a few games spread over the floor to one side. I'll peek at them later because I've spotted the DVD collection and I browse that, my inner geek goes crazy over some of the titles and I can almost imagine the movie marathons coming up, as a girl or boy I could nerd over these for hours.

Moving on I find the books are more boring and are less fiction and more scientific based, Hawkins a short history of everything's spine is broken and battered, that must have been read over and over again.

Other than five doors leading off the main area I can't see anything other than the kitchen, which is a modern marvel and even has a little kitchen island, which I've always wanted. I peek in the fridge to see the cold meat selection big enough to feed an army, and there's some salad and on the side counter are packets of rice ready to be cooked.

I also may stumble across the ice-cream and that's a lot of ice-cream, thankfully they are all werewolves so they'll burn it off quickly.

And that leaves me with the doors.

One of them leads to Peter's room, so I know where that goes.

The second one, near the kitchen, is a cupboard, half of it is used for coats and shoes, the other half for cleaning stuff. Boring, but at least I know when my shoes are now.

The third door opens into a plain bedroom, there's a bed, well made and not a wrinkle in it, a wardrobe and that's it. Another door is on the other side of the room, I'm guessing that's the ensuite bathroom like Peter's.

Behind the forth door is another bedroom, this one is more messy and there are a few textbooks on a desk, I'm so to say this one is Isaacs's, so the last one was Derek's. I don't explore, just yet, I don't want to get kicked out of the Pack for intruding, I'll save it for later and when I'm more accepted, if I'm ever more accepted.

The very last door is to a small toilet, this must be the one that visitors use, and now I know where I can pee when I need to. And luckily these clothes are nice and easy to pull down so I can pee, that was the only thing wrong with my dress, getting it up out of the way so I could sit down on the toilet. How do women cope with those kinds of clothes all the time? Some of them are clearly designed to torture the poor person wearing them, and I suspect the reason girls and women go to the toilet together isn't just for safety, it's for an extra pair of hands to help with clothes.

With nothing else left to do I sit on the sofa and curl up on one of the big soft cushions there, I channel hop before settling on some cartoons as I wait for Peter to finish doing whatever it is he does to make himself pretty, then I giggle because that sounded funny.

Freezing in place I glance around the empty apartment and remind myself that I'm safe here, probably. Oh god please don't let Derek freak out because I'm dressed as a girl. Oh my god please don't let the Betas freak out because I'm dressed as a girl.

Crap.

Maybe I should change back into my normal clothes, I can still be Stella and wear clothes Stiles normally wears, just like I can be Stiles wearing things for Stella.

Jumping to my feet I flail a bit and then hurry over to Peter's door, then I hesitate, because I don't know if he's wallowing in the shower or messing around in his bedroom, and I did not need that thought in my head.

I'm just about to knock on his door when it opens and Peter's standing there, thankfully dressed, and being his normal arrogant self as he straightens the cufflinks on his shirt sleeve, "Stella? Your heart is racing, is everything okay?"

"Um… I think I should change back…" Because it's one thing to be a girl around Peter, who I should be afraid of, but curiously I'm not when it comes to this, and it's quite another to be one around Derek and his teenangst Betas.

"I've been researching your particular type of gender," Is all Peter says to me, "Do you want to see what I've found?" And yes I want to know more about me, I've not dared to research just in case, and what little I've heard about Transgender doesn't fit me.

Brushing past me he ambles over to the dining room table and puts his laptop down, god I've wanted to get my hands on that thing for months, he's supposed to have downloaded the entire Hale library onto it and my fingers itch to touch it.

Pulling out a chair he waves me towards it and then I'm treated to him carefully pushing my chair in, he's really acting as if I'm a girl and I flush for some reason, sitting next to me he taps on the keys to pull up a document labelled, 'Bi-Gender', "I've only lightly touched on the subject on gender," he's leaning forward and doing something to the settings, "And frankly I had no idea that human gender could be so complex, let alone be so very different and separate from an individual's sexual identity," he slides the laptop in front of me and I ignore his mention of the word sex.

There isn't much on the page and he's cited a few references from well-known online places like Wikipedia, but it mostly describes me, the fluid move from male to female, of being slightly different when I'm male or female, and I can't be the only one out there, Peter's found a few blogs and forums where people like me can talk to one another.

"I'm normal," is all I can think of as my mind is totally blown by this, I'm normal, I'm not wrong, I'm just Bigender, I'm a subset of being Transgender, more specifically I'm Gender Fluid or Gender Queer, and I'm a recognised subset, I'm real, I'm documented, I'm not some weird thing put together incorrectly.

Oh my god, for this alone I'd join Derek's Pack, to see in black and white that I'm exactly what I'm supposed to be.

"Of course you're normal Stella, both you and Stiles are perfect, there's nothing wrong with you at all," Peter's leaning back against the chair rest and I should be freaking out that Peter Hale thinks I'm normal because he is so not the poster child of normal, but he's right, there's nothing wrong with me.

His head jerks up and he stares over at the main door, when he tilts his head slightly I can't help thinking of a dog but as Stella I'm quieter and keep my amusement to myself, "They're here," is all it takes him to say to have me stiffening and back to being worried and anxious. I really should have changed, how the hell are they supposed to accept me? It doesn't matter that I'm a subsection of something, it only matters that society will mock me and punish my dad for spawning me.

"Relax," he pats my shoulder and goes back to the laptop, he types, 'give them time to adjust to you, they already know about you, it'll be fine', which is easy for him to say, or type, it's not so easy for me though.

I know my heartbeat has started to race as the door handle turns and I turn my focus back to the laptop, I really don't want to see what they think of me as a girl.

"Good run Derek?" Peter asks, he's draped himself over the chair and that cannot be comfortable, stupid werewolves.

"Yes," and that's the monosyllable Alpha we all know and… well grudgingly accept I guess. "We'll shower and then eat."

"Fine, I'll set the rice to cook then," Peter says easily and I keep my eyes as glued on the screen in front of me as I can. There are four werewolves and three showers, I refused to contemplate who's sharing and then Peter's shifting in his seat, "Boyd, I assume you'll be borrowing Isaac's shower when he's finished? Excellent, you might want to wear the t-shirt I picked out for you, really it does wonders for your… Fine I can see from your face you're going to ignore me."

And Boyd does have a way of freezing people out if he wants to. And ignoring Peter is a very difficult thing to do.

Instead I get the joys of Peter's now snarky company, "Well Stella, I know you appreciate my fashion tastes and tips, at least someone in this town has the good taste to listen to me," and I can't see me listening to him for advice on anything else but fashion.

Peter loads up a website devoted to LGBT and while I can see lots of forums and links to things for lesbians and gays I notice that the numbers drop dramatically if you're bi and then become almost non-existent if you come under the trans umbrella, which is where anyone that doesn't fit the LGB part gets stuffed under, though I can see why they would do that, it would be one hell of an anachronism otherwise, and people have trouble understanding the LGBT bits anyway.

At least that's what I tell myself, as much as I enjoy researching and finding stuff out, because really the side trips you can make are fascinating, right now I really want to find out more about me, the description was me, and I want more.

Only Peter has control of the laptop and he's exploring a few links then he sighs, "Well this is going to take longer than expected, you'd think they'd make this easier to find, from the personal stories I made myself sit through most trans of any type don't find life easy so they should make this part less hard," he sounds annoyed.

In the background the TV shuts off, I'd left it on when I'd tried to flee and get changed, but now Boyd is standing there with the remote in his hand. He hasn't said anything to, or about, me, and I can take this level of interaction, it's not like he and the others have had much to do with me. Maybe I can survive this.

Isaac's door creaks open and Boyd goes for a shower as Isaac emerges fresh as a daisy and not looking like he's been made to run for hours and miles, damn werewolves.

"Ah, I'll take that as a sign that the others will be ready soon, honestly Derek takes forever to do his hair and Erika's as bad as him," Peter is so judging them and I refrain from mentioning that he's as bad as them, if not worse. "Stella if you would be so kind as to help me in the kitchen, we'll put the things on the table and we can all help ourselves."

Dutifully I follow him to the kitchen after he puts his laptop safely to one side, it's an easy job to boil a saucepan and drop the large bag of rice or six into the water, plus my muscles are stiffening up and this will help ease them. Peter handles the heavy things and bosses me around so I carry the meats and salad to the table and even end up setting the table too.

By the time Derek and Erika emerge, with perfect hair, Peter is straining the rice and I've put the last glass of juice on the table, "Ah there you are, and here's Boyd too, lunch is served," Peter bustles towards the table and places the large container of rice in the middle with a flourish.

Considering they're all wolves they do have some good table manners. I help myself to the food, I'm used to Scott and if you hang around the food mysteriously vanishes into his stomach. My new fake breasts don't get in my way when I eat, I glance at Erika out of the corner of my eyes and, not for the first time, I wonder how other women deal with larger breasts, they seem to be designed to get in the way when you want to do anything. My hair is heavier than I thought it would be and the weight is throwing me slightly, I'm sure it's something I can get used to though.

"Stella," Peter's holding the mustard out to me.

"Thank you," I take it from him and carefully put a dollop of it on my plate, "Would anyone else like the mustard?" I ask and look up to see four people staring at me in surprise and Peter shaking his head. I put the top on the mustard and place it on the table trying to ignore the stares.

My stomach is knotting itself up but I keep eating, I've learnt to overcome the side effects of Adderall so eating when I don't want to, but have to, is a survival skill, I know that eating is good, it will make me look more normal.

Normal is good.

And I'm normal.

I am, I'm normal, and I cling to that thought.

The conversation is a bit awkward until they settle on saying what they did for their run, the weather's been nice and they looped around most of Beacon Hills, it's been quiet on the supernatural front since they ran off whatever the last nasty thing was, or more like they lead the Hunters to it and let them get in a fight with it, it left, the Hunters are licking their wounds, and we're just fine.

Everyone else finishes their food, and as Derek clears the last of his plate, I stand up and start to clear the table. I carry the pile of empty plates and dirty cutlery over to the kitchen sink. Peter's rummaging in the freezer and ice-cream makes an appearance, that's still a lot of ice-cream.

It's an experience to watch Peter make perfect ice-cream balls and place them just so in the bowls. I'm sent off with the competed bowls of ice-cream and serve everyone before I carry our bowls to the table, "Thank you Peter," I murmur as he sits down to his own ice-cream.

There's not much more noise except the sound of werewolves scraping their bowls to get all of the ice-cream goodness out of their bowls. I delicately eat mine and they finish long before I do, this time Isaac clears the table, and then Boyd and Erika have to do the washing up.

Retreating to the bathroom to pee I don't have to struggle with the leggings, they're easy to use, and then as I wash my hands I double check that everything is still right and that my bulge doesn't show. And then I dare to look in the mirror. I still look like a pretty girl, and so far no one has said anything mean or cruel, though I'm beginning to think I should hang around Peter because he's taking it so well, and I'm scared what the others really think.

And it says something about my life that hanging out with Peter doesn't sound that bad right now.

Stepping out of the bathroom I find the guys browsing the DVD collection and it looks like we are having a Buffy marathon.

Apparently being a friendless nobody has been good for me, because I don't blurt out any jokes about Hellmouths and Beacon Hills. Instead I walk to the sofa and I'm a little surprised when Peter makes me sit right in the middle, but them I'm in a Hale sandwich with Peter to my left, holding my hand, and Derek to my right, holding my other hand. Erika falls to the floor in front of me pressing her back to my legs, she wiggles between them and I jump as her hands land on top of my bare feet. When Boyd sits in front of Peter I get one of his hands wrapped around my ankle, then Isaac completes the set with my other ankle.

As Stella I'm a little touch shy, but where they're touching me is fine, and Erika is a girl so it's more okay for her to be where she is. The blouse is still covering everything and I settle in to see Buffy the Vampire Slayer try to attempt to evade her destiny as the Slayer in Sunnydale before embracing it, and being all kickass.

They should have more strong female role models on TV.

On screen Buffy navigates the horror of high school, while making new friends, keeping up with her school work, deading the baddie of the week, has eye sex with Angel, and saves the world more times than she's had hot meals. Plus she has awesome hair, if I had hair like that I'm sure I'd tangle it the second I stepped out of the house, or else I'd have to hair spray it in place and be a walking human torch waiting to happen.

The credits roll for the end of this DVD with its share of the episodes and I smile, "Girls rule," because we do.

In front of me Erika lifts a hand up and I disentangle my hand from Derek's long enough to high five her. "Finally," she says, "I'm not the only girl in the Pack," she twists around to look up at me, "When you're in a girl mood one weekend we are so having a sleepover, there will be manicures and pedicures and we are going to watch classics like Dirty Dancing, we'll braid hair and eat way too much chocolate," her eyes burn amber, "I've never been to a sleepover and we are going to do this."

"Okay, I'd like that Erika," I smile at her a bit shyly, "I've only ever done boy sleepovers as Stiles and guys are great but…" I roll my eyes and try to convey the meaning, she nods like she understands, which I suppose she does. "And I've never seen Dirty Dancing," she gasps like I've committed a major sin, "I've overheard other girls talk about it, and Top Gun…" From the gleam in her eye we can watch that one too, "Have you see Pride and Prejudice, not the film, one of the adaptions?"

"No, is it any good?" She's leaning on my knee and this is nice, she's treating me like a girl.

"Yes, I got my hands on the one with Colin Firth," I tilt my body forward, "It's not a perfect adaption of the book, but then it's hard to capture the elegance of the book. It does manage to get most of it right, from the bad first impressions, the mixed messages, the most atrocious declaration of love, the rejection, the family scandal, the save, the chance meeting, and the final moment where it become OTP."

"This I have to watch," Erika's grinning at me, while three of the guys have identical expressions of 'WTF' and Peter rolls his eyes at them all. "Hmm, I have to say I was worried how well you'd fit in the Pack, I shouldn't have worried, I'm not the only girl now, as Stella we can bond and be girls, as Stiles I am so raiding your comic collection…"

I can see it now and I'm almost giddy at how accepting she's being of me, even if she never does any of these things with me she's made a perfect day so perfect that nothing can ever top it. I have fake breasts, I have long hair, I have girl clothes that make me look and feel great, Peter's shown me what I am, and now Erika's indicated she'll accept me as me.

"Okay…" Is all I can say back, god I refuse to cry in front of them, "Thank you Erika," I'm blinking rapidly to hold the tears back, "Excuse me," I stand up suddenly and try to flee for the bathroom to break down and pretend I have privacy, but Peter's arm is holding me there.

"Stella. What's wrong?" He's concerned.

"I got it," Erika elbows him and then she's dragging me away as my vision blurs, I know we're in a room, I think it's Peter's. "It's okay Stella," her arms are warm and I cling to her as I sob. God it's so stupid, so dumb, I didn't know how freeing it was just to be me. "I know," she murmurs in my ear, "It's the reason I said yes to Derek, just to be free of my epilepsy, to not have to face all the jeers, to not have to be afraid of my own body and brain."

When I quieten down she pats my face, "Come on lets wash your face and then we all have to go home. Okay?"

"'Kay, thank you Erika," she's being way more accepting of me than most people would. I let her show me how to use the soaps and stuff Peter has in his bathroom, and wow, he's a werewolf, why would he worry about toning and cleansing and moisturising?

Our little girl time together also marks the end of the day and it's with reluctance that I lock myself in Peter's bathroom and get changed. Off comes the wig and onto its dummy head, off comes the clothes, the underwear and fake breasts.

Naked I breathe in and out a few times as Stella starts to sink down, full and happy and replete, and up bobs Stiles restless and just as happy, I feel balanced in a way I've not for days or weeks. Humming a little off key I put on my boy cloths and stumble out into the main apartment. When I remember my manners and thank them I get it waved off with a 'You're Pack'.

Bumbling home I don't notice that I'm almost skipping into the house and when dad pops his head out of his office to greet me I chirp about the run and the Buffy and the food.

"So you had a good time with your new friends then," he's smile, "Good, I'm glad you're happy Stiles, it's nice to see you getting out and about son."

"Thanks," I scuff a foot and then grin at him, "I should get some homework done…"

"Okay, I have some stuff from the office, thankfully it's only double checking some paperwork, I'm finally catching up, don't stay up too late," he tells me and I promise as I practically dance up the stairs to my room, I'm tired from the run still, and exhausted from so little sleep for so long, with everything that's happened I'm just gonna hit the sack.

Changing into the PJs Peter gave me I pad to the bathroom to brush my teeth, my normal reflection stares back at me, boyish, masculine and Stiles, but now I know I can be girly, feminine and Stella.

It's been an awesome day, in theory I should be too keyed up to sleep but I curl up on my bed and for once I fall asleep easily.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	14. Chapter 14

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**14**

I'm not expecting a huge amount from the three Betas at school, I'm convinced they'll keep their distance, that they'll ignore me here and hang out with me where no one can see them.

I'm not expecting Erika to attach herself to me like I'm some kind of new awesome fashion accessory that's a must have item. But she does and the guys hang out with us too.

Frankly I'm a bit stunned by it and I pick at my lunch as they chat away and Erika lounges on me. I think my new future as 'The Stiles' TM malleable chair pillow isn't going to last long because Erika grumbles that I'm too thin and I need more padding.

Across the canteen Danny lifts an eyebrow at me and I shrug, well I try to shrug without dislodging Erika and earning myself a flick on my ear. I think I convey, 'I have no idea' well enough because Danny grins and the next thing I know he's on the other side of me joining in. A few more of the guys drift over and somehow I'm on one of the popular tables.

For the rest of the day one of the Betas is with me, or one of the jocks and I'm included in all of their conversations. I struggle to keep as quiet as I can, to not snark as much, to blend in. It's difficult, but I manage it okay in the end and I breathe out in relief when I can get changed and go running around the field.

Practice is brutal and I can let off steam.

Showered, clean and ready to go home to do homework I find that the empty house is still really depressing but I power through my homework, I'm rested, I've burned off my excess energy, and with the socialising I did today I'm way more focused than normal. I still shoehorn in extra exercising and I make sure I eat well.

Falling into bed I sleep through the night and I'm ready to face the day.

In fact the whole week is just like that, the only blips on it are Scott glaring at me from across rooms, and Mr Harris is freaking the shit out of me because he keeps being nice, he's not picking on me anymore and I don't know how to handle that, and neither does anyone else in the class.

Saturday is an away game that we trounce the other team at, and I'm careful not to go to any parties, I'm wary of dad freaking out at me, we're on a more or less even keel and I won't risk it. He keeps staring at me and I don't know what to say to him anymore without screwing up, he keeps sighing too, I'm doing it all wrong and I just don't know how to handle our relationship anymore.

On Sunday I bounce out of bed and get my workout gear ready, we're doing more running as a Pack and Erika's mentioned that Peter's being sketching and fondling swathes of cloth like a madman so I might have some more girl clothes waiting for me.

I can't believe I'm looking forward to spending time with Peter of all people, what happened to the chasing me through darkened schools and trying to bite me? Though this is a good change and since I'm happy to ignore problems until they go away, I'll ignore this one until I leave for college.

It's drizzling slightly as we run and the ground is a bit slippery, I also learn that werewolf reaction times are freaky fast. I attempt several unintended faceplants but each time, Derek, or Peter, saves me, they steady me and we don't even break stride.

At the end of the run that I can participate in I'm sent to the apartment with Peter and Derek hovers a bit looking extra constipated until Peter flaps his hands at him and Isaac leads him away. I'd wonder what that was about but I'm exhausted and I want my shower and new clothes.

Damn, I didn't realise I was quite that shallow.

This time around I'm awake as we ride the elevator up. Nothings really changed and I readily drink one of the bottles of water Peter's stocked the fridge with. I would balk at getting on his bed and having a nap with him but he's turned his back to me and I am pretty tired. Plus if he did anything to me Derek would smell it and rip his balls off, or maybe Erika would.

Instead of stripping down to his boxers, he simply takes his socks off and his t-shirt, then I have to spoon a rain damp Peter and it should be rank but he's warm, I'm tired, and it's like a weight is lifted off of my shoulders, I relax fully for the first time since last week and fall fast asleep on him.

I don't think I'm asleep for that long and when I open my eyes I'm still holding Peter, he's awake and my arm is around him in such a way that my hand is resting on his bare stomach. His hand is resting on top of mine, he's not doing anything just touching my skin but I can feel something I couldn't before, like a link, I glimpse a flicker of something like contentment and then it's gone and I can't feel the link anymore.

"Stiles?" Peter murmurs, "You ready for a special project?"

Special project? I hope this isn't some kind of master plan to kill everyone and install Peter as ruler of the world, "What kind of project?"

"I'm designing a dress for you," he says, "I need your input on style, material, cut, colours, that kind of project."

"A dress? For me?" That perks me up and while I might be Stiles right now I know I'm going to love it as Stella, or as Stiles, dresses shouldn't have a gender assigned to the wearer.

He laughs, "Yes, a dress for you, now don't be mad," and I wonder what the catch is, "Derek realises what an oaf he was, and he wants to apologise to you again, without saying the actual words, and he's paying for all the materials, so please feel free to go for the most expensive things I can find for you."

Freezing in place I shrink in against Peter's body, god that moment when Derek shredded my dress still hurts so fucking much. It was my one big thing for letting Stella out, to embrace being a girl, no matter how antiquated and outdated wearing a dress to prove you're a girl is. It was a big step for me. It was a way for me to acknowledge that I was a girl as well as a boy, and it ended up in pieces, ripped apart on Derek's claws.

"Stiles," Peter wiggles around and I'm engulfed in his arms, "If you're not ready…"

Shaking my head I blurt, "No, I'm good, I want a dress, I want to feel like me, like I can be free to be me, but it hurt so much," oh god why am I admitting this to Peter? He'll just use it against me, won't he?

"Oh my dear Stiles Stella Stilinski," he rubs my back, "He's an idiot, he's admitted he was wrong, and he wants to make it up to you, to try and give you a place to be you, to give you something to wear to replace what he thoughtlessly destroyed. And while I'm convinced my nephew has been dropped on his head too many times, he is trying, badly, to show you he accepts you."

And then I'm crying, oh my god, can this possibly get any worse? I don't understand why Derek's acceptance means so much but it does. To have anyone accept me means a lot.

"There, there," Peter's rubbing my back in soothing circles, he even croons at me as I cry myself out. I end up with a headache, my nose is dribbling snot and my eyes are puffy, not that Peter seems to mind. "Does it feel better to let it all out?" He asks and I'm too drained to do much more than shrug at him.

I get ushered into his bathroom and he hands me the same clothes as last week. I'm a little disappointed for a few seconds and then remember he wants to make me a dress. Dragging myself into the shower I go through all the steps to wash up and make me clean for my girly clothes.

Just like last time the smell of the shower gel, the feel of the bubbles, even the way I pull on the underwear works miracles and I start to turn into Stella. Settling the last piece of the blouse in place I look in the mirror and smile at myself.

I only need the wig now and I walk out of the bathroom a new person and she's ready to take on the world. Peter's sitting on his bed, still in just his running shorts, he must have worked on my wig because it's swirled up and pinned ready for me. It's different this time, he's put it all up and strung gold and yellow thread through it.

"Peter, it's beautiful," it really is and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to wear it.

"It's only as beautiful as the woman it graces," he says it without a touch of sarcasm and I blush. "Now my dear Miss Stilinski, let us put the finishing touches to the piece of art that is you, and I will then join you shortly in the living room."

It doesn't take us long to get the wig on me and I let him lead me to his bedroom door, then I escape out and explore around the apartment again. If I were Stiles I'd probably stick my head around their bedroom doors and snoop on them, instead I snoop on the games and the videos, and while they haven't changed since last time I re-familiarize myself with the titles and I find myself hoping I can come around after school to play games and just be a boy as well as a girl here.

Sighing softly to myself I know it will never work, I have to do all the extra courses to get out of Beacon Hills, to stop getting in my dad's way, to stop being a burden, except the Pack isn't acting like I'm a burden and Peter's excited over making me things. Derek hasn't pushed me into any walls or even growled at me, Erika is practically attached at my hip whenever she can get away with it, Boyd even spoke to me on Friday, and Isaac is smiling at me.

A traitorous little voice points out that I'm being unfaithful to Scott, but Scott, my brother, has all but abandoned me picking Allison and the hunters over me. Shaking that off I refuse to be sad when I have the chance to be a girl, to be Stella, to be a part of me.

Peter isn't that long and strides out in grey slacks and a bright blue shirt that brings out the blue in his eyes, "Ah there you are," he walks over with a swagger that makes me smile and I wonder when I stopped being so afraid of him. "Are you ready to destroy Derek's bank balance?"

"As ready as I'll ever be Mr Hale," and I appreciate the way he takes my hand in his and leads the way to the dining room table, he even holds my chair out for me. I'm aware of how redundant it is to pin the label of gentleman on Peter because of such a small gesture, especially in this day and age, I might be female but I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. "Thank you," I do have some manners.

"You're welcome," he sits next to me and pulls a sketchbook towards us. "I've done a few preliminaries and I've found some material. I went with the cream theme you had before and I think this would make a perfect base," the material he hands me is cream and feels like silk to my fingers. "I can use this to make that shape," he flourishes the sketchbook at me, "See this basic simple shape of dress? You'll have your shoulders covered and it will hide any and all upper underwear so you have options, but then we sheathe it in this," I have no idea what it is, it's like the net curtains our crazy next-door neighbour has, but it's so soft to the touch, it's cream again but has outlines of leaves in brown and bronze embroidered into it.

"And this is how I envisage the finished article," he's done three drawings, the first the cream material and he's right the shape is very plain, the second is just the net lacy sheathe, but the last one combines them and there is even a bronze bow in the middle of the dress.

It's a stunning creation and my jaw drops, "Oh Peter," I breathe out and I want this dress, it puts my first dress to shame, this is like an epic dress that only models get to wear, or girls going to prom or weddings or…

"You like it then?" He looks pleased and preens next to me, "I wanted something you could wear in summer, it won't be too hot for you and you could even have a matching parasol with it," he's done a drawing for that too.

I want it, I want it so badly right now. I can see it so clearly, me in that dress, Peter beside me as we walk slowly through an olde style English garden, the sun beating down, the heady perfume of the flowers, the buzz of bees in the air.

"I… I couldn't possibly accept Mr Hale," and I really want the dress and parasol, the whole thing, just for me. And I really can't accept, I know you're not supposed to let the guy who bit your best friend and then tried to kill you make you clothes. I'm sure there's a rule or something.

"I certainly hope you will accept," he smiles, "Derek's buying, and this would afford me the perfect opportunity to stretch my creativity, it's been years, literally, and I yearn to gift the world with perfection, perfection only you could carry off, either as Stella or Stiles."

Flushing at his words I'm not sure what to say and I bite my lip as he pulls another sketchbook towards us, "I know you have a very limited wardrobe as Stiles, but I've managed to come up with a few ideas I think you'd actually wear," and the flips to a page with a t-shirt on it, he's taken a Captain America t-shirt and a Batman t-shirt and cut them jaggedly across the middle in a diagonal direction, he's then put them back together so the iconic symbols merge in a way that has me leaning forward and Stiles surging up.

"Dude," I breathe out, "That's amazing," he smirks at me and I'm about to say something when he shows me some jeans that he's done something that shuts me up and my jaw drops again.

"I thought these would be perfect for either sides of you, more androgynous than anything, change the things around them and you can be male or female, or even swap between the two," and it's like he's smacked me between the eyes, the simplicity of his acceptance, the way he's created an idea for jeans that works for all of me.

"Thank you," I blurt out and I'm not sure if I mean for the jeans or being him, which is weird, really weird because this is Peter freaking Hale.

"You're welcome Stiles, though now I need to measure you so I can start making these things for you," he rubs his hands together, "I've found the sewing machine I want too, and with the new house we're getting I have the perfect sewing room too," this is not the same man that terrorised me in the parking garage, though in a way it still is. All that focus that used to be on death, murder and revenge is now firmly turned to sewing of all things.

We end up with me standing there and Peter running around me with a tape measure, he measures everywhere and mutters to himself as he jots down notes and sizes, "Hmm, you're putting on muscle Stiles, I'll take that into account when I make the dress."

I must be muscling up if Peter's noticed and I smile to myself that something I'm doing in my life is working and doing what I want.

He's just finished when the rest of the Pack roll up all unsweaty from their longer run, I'm so pleased with my potential new clothes that I beam at them, "I do hope that your run was more than satisfactory?"

They paused and blink at me, then Derek nods, "Yes, it was good." He hovers and looks a bit uncertain.

"Stiles Stella has magnanimously agreed to let me make the dress," Peter says and Derek relaxes giving me a nod, almost like he's thanking me, "Stella will look magnificent in my creations, if I do say so myself," oh he is so arrogant. "You and the puppies go and wash I'll put the soup on, my lovely assistant can cut up the bread."

And that's what we do.

The soup is just out of a can and everyone likes tomato, the bread is fresh from this morning, and might be a bit hacked into pieces rather than delicately cut into slices, but no one complains. And just like before we end up sitting on the sofa watching TV.

Well I sit on the sofa, Peter on one side holding my hand, Derek on the other holding my hand. The three Betas are on the floor touching my feet and I'm more grounded than I normally am. Erika's head is resting on one of my knees and I envy her those curls and thickness, but then I suppose if I grew my own hair out it would be good too.

I'm reluctant to go home, I want to stay longer, but I don't want to upset my dad, I don't want him banning me from here, from this freedom. I get changed in Peter's bathroom and let myself be Stiles again.

Bumbling out of Peter's room I wave to the guys, "See you at school," they give various farewells, all in all this was a good Sunday.

At home I do more homework and some simple stretches to work on my flexibility, online games have taught me the importance of agility, and I've seen enough real fights to know speed and dexterity are also useful if you're built slim like me.

A knock on my door makes me look up from my stretch dad's leaning there, "Hey, how'd your day go?"

I want to hedge to hide everything but I force a smile, "Good, we did a long run," well long for me, "We had lunch and then watched Buffy."

Dad wanders into my room and sits on my spare computer chair, he's not done that in so long, I go back to stretching unsure what to do next. He clears his throat, "You seem to be getting on well with these new friends you're making."

"Yeah," I nod, "They're okay."

The silence gets longer as I move to a new stretch, "Okay, that's good," he says and seems as lost as I am, "If you want them to come over…" He pauses, "Your friends are always welcome here Stiles, just text me okay?"

I blink in shock and bob my head in acknowledgment wondering if I could ever get them to come over to mine, "Okay sir," I try for a smile and get a tentative one in return. Finally something else is starting to go right again, I must be hiding my weirdness enough and not screwing up so he wants to be around me again.

"Good, that's good," he nods too and then points to the door, "I'll leave you to your exercises. Don't stay up too late, you have school tomorrow."

"Yes sir, they're just stretches, I won't be long now," and when he leaves he gives me a smile.

I pause in my exercises and wait for his bedroom door to shut before I do a fist pump, my dad is talking to me again, things are looking up, all I have to do is hide my bi-gender from him and everyone else who isn't Pack and I'm home free.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	15. Chapter 15

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**15**

Dad's given me permission to go on an outing the following Saturday with the Pack, not that he knows it's a Pack of werewolves and one bigender teen, but he's still trusting me not to get into trouble. I'm taking it as a positive thing, I know we'll never be the same, I'm not the son he wants, but it doesn't stop me hoping.

Saturday morning I leave the jeep in the parking lot of the apartment and bound up the stairs to the front door. Derek opens it before I can knock and lets me in, he points to the far end where Peter is beaming at me and the three Betas are hovering and grinning.

On the table are a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. These are from the drawings Peter showed me last Sunday and I can't believe he's made them already. I get hustled into Peter's bathroom and when I emerge I have jeans that are so gender neutral I can switch between Stiles and Stella as I chose and they fit me perfectly. The t-shirt is awesome and I grin like a loon and do a turn on the spot so they can see it all on.

"Peter, dude these are awesome, man you really know how to sew," and he does, he really does.

"Thank you Stiles, I'm glad you like them," He's acting magnanimous but he shoots the odd look at Derek and the others so I know he's going to rub this in and nag them about designing things for them.

Derek quickly gets us out of the apartment and down to the Toyota he bought, the kind a soccer mom would get, he even traded in the Camaro for it. Obviously he drives and Peter gets the front passenger seat. The rest of us pile in the back and there's plenty of room in here. I'm next to Erika who instantly latches on to me, her hand twines in mine and this is nice, I don't have to worry about her smacking me in the head with my own car part either. Isaac and Boyd are talking about Lacrosse and Erika snarks at them because she's not allowed to play on the team because she's a girl, she does, however, have some very good ideas about tactics and the discussion gets animated when the guys start to listen to her.

Other than the odd comment from Peter or Derek they stay quiet for most of the drive and then Derek's pulling up in front of the old Castle property, it's one of those older properties that was built so long ago that the owners just added onto it all the time, to point that it looked like a madman put it together. Then old man Castle got sick, his kids left him and the place just fell apart for ten years. The last time I saw it was a year ago when Scott and I passed it for one reason or another, old man Castle had died and his kids were trying to sell it to anyone that would take it.

According to rumour the year hadn't been kind to the house but as I stare out I realise the place got torn down and rebuilt, only not in a crazy way, in a smart way. It still looks like one of those colonial houses you see on TV, three stories and if it's the same as it was the front will be wide and there'll be two wings out the back.

Scrambling out of the Toyota I can see the large number of vans and trucks belonging to the construction crew that are working on the property and they've done an amazing job of it. They've even managed to tame the front yard and that was pretty much a jungle after all the neglect.

Derek goes off to talk to the foreman and we get left in Peter's hands, as I've never been here before I get the tour from the outside, there are people working on the inside and for some reason Peter's reluctant to let me near anything resembling a power tool.

I was right there are two wings, or there where, the one on the right is still there, but the one of the left has been torn down and it looks like a gym and pool area are being installed instead. I'm allowed to peer through empty window frames and I see big rooms and large open spaces that get Peter rambling about colours and furniture sets.

At the back where the end of the right hand wing ends he gets really excited, this room is going to be his sewing room, he's measured the light and where it hits when, he's going to do so much and he's having a whole area so he can work on designs and patterns.

This is a different Peter to who I'm used to seeing. Even as a somewhat insane murderous Alpha he was in control, well mostly in control, the wolf peeked around the edges all the time. This Peter is smiling and pointing, he's like a child, and when the sun glints off his eyes they flash that bright electric wolf blue.

A hand creeps into mine and I squeeze Erika's fingers gently as we follow Peter across the partially built patio, we have to dodge tiles and sand, and I get to watch the workmen take one look at Peter and flee the scene at speed. Peter's still waxing lyrical about his sewing room and then we're at the pit that will be turned into a swimming pool.

At this point Isaac also takes my hand and keeps me away from the big hole in the ground, seriously what do they expect me to do? Apart from fall in and get stuck. They are going to build one of those glass type houses over the swimming pool so it can be used at any time of year, but in summer the glass can be opened up to let in the air. Derek's also found some material that mimics glass but will help to block the more harmful parts of the sun and not let too much heat out in winter.

There's also a big upright board near the hole in the ground and I drag Erika and Isaac over to it. The detailed plans for the house are stuck to it. There are scribbled notes all over it too and I get to read how the house is going to end up. I can see the ground floor is for all the normal house stuff, the kitchen and dining area is huge, like they're planning for the numbers of people living here to get bigger. There are two living room areas, Peter's sewing room, what could be a party room with bar that's next to where the gym is being built, I'm guessing so any party goers can get to the pool. The second floor is all about the bedrooms and their bathrooms. There's a huge master bedroom with notes for buying a special big bed for it and one for Peter to make the sheets and things for it. The bathroom and walk in wardrobe is easily twice as big as the one in Peter's room and frankly that's obscenely big as it is.

"Who's room is that?" I point to it and then jump because Boyd's standing right behind me and then he's hugging me.

"Yours, that's your room Stiles," he says and this is the first time he's ever hugged me.

"Mine?" They really did mean for me to have a room here?

"Yes," Peter's joined us again, "Once you joined the Pack we had to rapidly redo the plans and we decided you should have the biggest wardrobe and bathroom, plus as we'll be taking turns sleeping with you you'll have to have a big bed."

I flush remembering the night I slept with Peter in his insanely tight red underpants, but then again he didn't do anything, he just slept there with me. And right now I'm surrounded by the three Betas, and all of them are touching me somehow.

"Okay," I nod and then spot that the third floor is some huge giant library and study area, with other open areas, "What's that?"

"The Pack room," Peter says, "In our last house it was in the basement, we've moved it to the top of the house, we're having various anti-flammable materials installed throughout the house and there are metal as well as other new rigid and loadbearing support beams being placed inside. As its California we've also redug the foundations and added earthquake devices to help absorb the shock allowing the house to survive anything short of an eight or nine hitting close by."

"Huh," that's not all they're adding to the house and they're over engineering everything.

"Yes, it's going to be very comfortable and safe once it's built," Peter's studying the plans, "Though it's a nightmare to project manage right now, I'm helping Derek keep the contractors in line and making sure they aren't cutting any corners, for some reason they seem to prefer him to me," I fight to keep the smile off of my face he sounds genuinely puzzled, out of the corner of my eye I can see Isaac fighting a similar battle.

"Huh," I repeat and now the workmen fleeing from Peter makes much more sense.

Wandering around to the front I let Peter keep talking as I hold onto Erika and Isaac and the knowledge that they meant it, they really meant it, they're going to give me a room, a big room, and yeah it's so they can hug me as we sleep but they want me. They've seen me as Stiles and as Stella and they still want me.

I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle this so I just let the idea of being accepted bubble through me. I can also see in my head the things Peter's describing, how I can keep all of my clothes in my wardrobe, how I can be on the third floor with books and superfast internet access, there's spaces for us to spread out and work or do research. The patio out the back is shielded from view so I'm free to be a girl outside as well as inside.

That's something I never thought I could have.

When I've dreamed of being free to be Stella I've always imagined it to be inside, away from prying eyes, but here I could be inside and then I could go outside and still be safe. I could walk around and use the parasol that Peter said he'd make for me. Maybe he'd walk next to me and offer me his arm as we strolled along the garden paths and into the woods at the back.

Around me the wolves are sniffing at the air and then Peter asks, "So Stella do you like the house?"

"Yes Peter," and I realise I am Stella right now, I've switched around and I still feel safe surrounded by them. "It's going to be so beautiful here. Thank you for letting me have a room here."

"No, thank you," he's quirking his eyebrow at me, "Humans in a Pack are special and I think we've gotten very lucky with our one."

Flushing at his words I shrug and then Derek is there, "They've been working on the woods, they've cleared a few pathways, do you want to check them?"

"Yes," Peter glances at his watch, "We have plenty of time until lunch, and speaking of, who wants to eat at the diner?"

"Me," Isaac is straight in there. They've never mentioned a diner before and I'm going to ask but I get side-tracked as we're lead to the woods and there are paths laid down among the trees.

"We thought it would be a good idea to be in the town this time," Peter's walking next to me and he offers me his arm. Linking my arm in his I find it ridiculously easy to match our strides together, "That way it's harder for the Hunters to get to us, and yet we have this little piece of forest right outside, and just because we're supposed creatures of the night, no one said we couldn't have civilised paths to walk down."

They've not cut the paths too wide, but it is a pathway and I can see me walking along these in almost any weather, the trees whisper above us and I can hear birds chirping nearby. We do the circuit with Derek checking the work every few feet. Erika does the whole thing in heels and doesn't get a speck of mud on her shoes, while Boyd marches along and Isaac sticks close to Derek.

Back at the house Derek peels off to tell the guys they did a good job while Peter makes us get in the Toyota, we're going to go the diner next and my stomach rumbles as Peter holds his hand out to help me up into the Toyota, the seats aren't that high and I wonder what he's up to, but then he closes the door on me and I realise that Boyd's done the same for Erika on the other side.

All three Betas are excited and debating what they're going to eat, and the food they're describing isn't just fast food, it's healthy stuff too. It doesn't sound like any diner I've ever been too before, "What diner is it?" I ask.

Twisting around in the front seat Peter says, "The Rainbow, it's on the edge of town, I found it by accident when I was at the Jungle one evening, I can't believe I didn't know about it before," and my stomach clenches because The Rainbow is well known for being tied to the LBGT community, hence being called The Rainbow. "I've been reading up on Trans and I have to say I thought I got picked on for being Pan, it has given me some perspective and I've stopped wanting to rip people's throats out quite so much."

Pan?

It clicks, Peter's Pansexual, where I'm Bisexual and like both sexes, Peter doesn't care about what gender you may or may not be, if he's into you he's into you.

And then the part of me that's so very Stiles and gets me into trouble all the times blurts out, "So your name is Peter and you're Pan? Did you make yourself some nice green tights too? And if you did can you make me fairy wings because I loved Tinkerbelle's wings."

Uh-oh, all of them are staring at me and then they laugh, Peter adds, "I'll make you the wings Stella, and I doubt you'll catch me in tights, but I could be persuaded to wear green trousers."

It keeps the others chuckling until Derek gets there and even he cracks a smile when Peter tells him what I said. Part of me is waiting for them to kick me out, or tell me shut up, I'm used to that, or people just laughing AT me, they were laughing WITH me, there's a huge difference.

They also talk about tomorrow and how they may have to rent the film so we can kick back and relax after our run. Which sparks a debate about which animated film we could watch after that, and it passes the time to the diner.

The Rainbow is on the edge of town and everyone knows it's where the weird people go, the ones that wear clothes that belong to the opposite gender. Dad gets calls there almost every day where people complain and want it closed down, he never goes unless someone phones to complain about harassment then he's there and tries to arrest the bigoted people for causing trouble. It's something that's made me hopeful he won't completely hate me for being me, a boy and a girl, but I know from the stories of the people he's had to arrest that their hatred is blinding and they'll take it out on him if they ever find out about me.

I've never been here before and I amble beside Erika all the way inside, it looks like any other diner except for the somewhat garish sigh proclaiming its name. Inside it's a mishmash of furniture, and I recall this place has been firebombed a few times, and broken into to have the insides ripped out and vandalised.

The waitress is friendly and recognises the others she quirks an eyebrow at me and then we're lead to a big round table. Handing out menus she says she'll be back as I crack open the menu and start to read. There are all kinds of foods here, it must be a nightmare to memorise. And then Isaac's reading the specials board and there's suddenly even more choice.

I have no idea what to pick and I end up flipping through the menu over and over. There's so much I want to eat and my stomach rumbles loudly at me.

"Just pick something," Erika says and points to the fish dish she wants, "See that's good."

"No," Isaac leans forward, "You should pick this," and it's a Mexican dish.

Snorting Peter says, "Steak, is far better than that, and they cook it to perfection."

Clearing his throat Derek says, "Pick what you want, and we come here fairly often so you'll have plenty of chances to pick other things. Though the steak is good," Peter smirks at him and then the waitress is here.

They place their orders, and Boyd is joining Erika with the fish and I can't make up my mind so I jab my finger at the choices and then get the garlic chicken.

Casting glances around the diner as we wait for food and talk about the house, I notice that everyone looks normal, which I know is a stupid thing for me to think. I'm normal, I am, I'm on the internet, I'm a recognised subset, and that means that anyone who comes here is also normal, whether they're recognised or not, they are exactly who they are supposed to be.

When the food gets here my mouth waters at the aromas, I'm used to normal diners, to food that's cooked well but it's somewhat the same, everywhere, this isn't, this is like walking into one of those fancy restaurants and getting awesome food, it's a step up from the places I've always been, that little extra effort transforming it and I happily dig into my chicken.

"Oh god this is amazing," I make sure to swallow before I speak, "Seriously this food," the others laugh and nod at me.

Peter cuts a piece of his steak and puts it on my plate, "I'll trade you a bite of your chicken."

That prompts everyone to share their food and we all try each other's', "Oh my god," I cram more food in my mouth, "How is this food so good?"

"You like it then?" Our waitress flits past and runs her eye over our table judging our glasses and how full they are, my mouth is so full of food I can only nod and give her a thumbs up, "I'll let the chefs know you like it," she winks and carries on through the diner.

Eating far too much I trundle out after the others and pat my full stomach, the chicken was tender and moist, the veg were cooked but not over done, and the atmosphere was great. I spotted a few of the drag queens in their civilian clothes and I thought they were going to ignore me but they waved and Ruby blew me a kiss.

Climbing into the Toyota I let Derek drive us to the video store and we really do rent Peter Pan because we all want to see it now and can't wait for tomorrow. Then we sit on the big couch and watch it. Peter gets a bit of good natured ribbing but he takes it well as I hold his hand and Derek's hand, and the three Betas hold my ankles.

Later as I drive myself home to grab my Lacrosse gear for practice, because Coach is evil and makes us practice if we don't have a game, I realise this was the first time we'd done the TV watching thing when I've been Stiles, and it wasn't any different to when I was Stella, it was just normal.

Maybe I really do have a shot of being happy, I'll have to be careful but it's possible.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	16. Chapter 16

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**16**

Between school, Lacrosse, and Pack things, the next few weeks fly by. I hang out with my Pack at school, Danny's often with us there, and some of the other guys on the team rotate in and out.

Home is better too. Dad isn't working so many hours now the new people are settling in, he spends more time at home, with me. It's still awkward in places but getting easier, he still goes quiet and studies me but he smiles at me more too. I like it.

Right now the crowd goes absolutely wild and chants Isaac's name as he scores. The final whistle goes and we've won, we're on track for the championships, and we're the favourites to win this year. On the bench Scott and Jackson look bored and I don't care because I'm hugging Isaac and then Boyd tackles me from behind and I laugh.

I never knew life could be this good.

Sent off to the showers we all celebrate and get changed, it's a home game so the guys are stoked and talking about a party off in the woods. Isaac and Boyd drift over to me and Isaac mutters, "Hey, if you're free tonight, wanna go and catch a movie?"

"I'll have to check with my dad, but if it's just us he might be okay," I tell them and grab my bag. We leave the guys whooping and messing around and walk out.

Derek's lurking in the school, he's leaning against a wall and doing his normal scowly broody thing in his black leather jacket. Nodding to us he walks us out and steers us over to where Peter and Erika are standing, and next to them is my dad.

Dad's nodding at something Erika's just said and then he sees her looking at us and turns. He honest to god grins when he sees us, "Well here are the conquering heroes," he even slings his arm around my shoulders. "Congratulations on your win, your team played brilliantly."

"Thank you sir," Isaac tentatively smiles at my dad, he's not good with male authority figures, but now Derek's calming down and being less of an asshole things are looking up for him too.

"And Peter tells me there's a possible movie at the old cinema in the offing?" Patting my shoulder he says, "Well you have fun, don't forget to eat something, and Stiles?"

"Sir?" Oh my god he's letting me go out after a game?

"Enjoy yourself and don't forget your curfew is midnight, you'll be out most of tomorrow for your run and hanging out at Isaac's, so you'll need your sleep," He squeezes my shoulder this time and I give a shaky nod. "Good, have fun and I'll see you tomorrow. I have some idiotic teens to keep an eye on," he nods towards the other kids all being really obvious about the upcoming party. "Who in their right minds wants to go out and party in the forest? I thought kids these days liked horror movies, don't those all end the same?"

Peter laughs, "Ah but don't forget when you're young you're invincible, nothing bad ever happens to you. Though it's tempting to sneak up on them and then scare them all in the dark."

"Yeah," Dad agrees with him and then the smile drops off his face and he's staring in annoyance at Scott who's hugging Allison, "Right off you go then, son," He pauses and then winces before saying, "Stiles, I wouldn't want you to miss your film, Have a great night out. Call me if you need me," he pulls me into a hug and holds it for more than a few seconds, "Be safe."

Striding off towards Scott he doesn't look back but I cling to the feeling of his hug and we leave the school parking lot. I'm driving me and Erika to the movies and she's sprawls out in the seat beside me, we talk comics and the woman knows her DC lore inside and out, it's a treat to talk to her about anything and everything.

Then I discover she can now play DCU Online.

"We are so having a gaming marathon," I fidget in my seat, "You have no idea what you've missed out on," she gives me her sceptical look, one perfect dark blonde eyebrow arched up in an expression I'm sure was passed on with Derek's Bite. "Seriously, you and me are teaming up to take on the evils of Gotham, or running around Metropolis beating up the bad guys. This is going to be awesome."

"It can't be that good," her voice is amused.

"But it is," I tell her about the character set up, how you can configure your character, the way you can amend the colours and the costume, how awesome it was to run around Gotham and the team ups I had with Nightwing and Robin. "And you don't have to pay for it, it's free, limited but free. If you want the extra content you have to pay for it."

"Fine," she drawls the word out, "We'll have a go at it, if I don't like it I'm not playing though."

"Okay," I pull up and park next to the Toyota. "It's a date," I jump out of my jeep and lock her up.

Sauntering around my jeep Erika smirks, "I'll hold you to that Stilinski," she holds her hand out and I take it in mine, her hand is warmer than my one and I grasp it tightly as we walk into the small cinema.

The guys are there waiting for us, there may be comments about how slow my driving is, "Hey, don't hassle my jeep, she's awesome," I glare at Boyd and let Derek buy us popcorn.

Sitting in the nearly empty movie theatre I settle in between Derek and Peter, with the three Betas in front of us. I'd throw my popcorn at Boyd but I'm hungry and eat it instead.

I didn't bother to see what the film was and I'm happy when it turns out to be How to Train Your Dragon, I love this film. And then it starts up and it gets to the point that Hiccup and Toothless meet and the dragon reminds me of someone, I just can't think who.

By the time Toothless and Hiccup have saved the day I'm grinning because I know exactly who the dragon reminds me of, and he's sitting next to me brooding and being all man painy.

Keeping my mouth shut all the way to the exit I can't help mentioning that Derek and Toothless are very similar, to the point that Derek's face screws up and he growls, "Stiles, I'm not toothless, I have lots of teeth," his face shifts and he goes all Beta with the extra-long fangs and stuff, "See plenty of teeth to rip your throat out with."

"Dude," I hold my hands up like I'm going to surrender and then I dart behind Boyd, "Totally Toothless, I should bring fish with me tomorrow, but not eels, because Bleh."

Standing there giving me epic bitch face he glares and then feints left before charging around Boyd to try and grab me, I yell and run for Isaac and skid around him, twisting and flailing I try to find refuge with Erika but Derek is hot on my heels. Fleeing for the safety of Peter I nearly make it when arms wrap around me and lift me up in the air, I shriek and holler as he spins in place and the world tilts around me.

Laughing I feel the earth under my feet and stagger away from him crowing, "Totally toothless Derek, beware I may end up piggy backing you and making you be my dragon."

"Try it Stilinski," He growls at me and he looks all fierce and angry until his mouth twitches and while I dissolve into gales of laughter where I'm forced to lean on Peter to stay standing, he almost smiles and that may be the Derek Hale version of a laugh.

Spilling out of the building and into the parking lot we're all grinning like loons, this was fun, and I have tomorrow to look forward to as well. Dancing over to my car I open the door for Erika and drive her home.

Waving her goodbye I wait for her to disappear into her home before I drive home and walk into an empty house. Dad won't be back for hours and I stop in the kitchen for a small snack that I wolf down before I bound up the stairs to get ready for bed. Pulling on the pyjamas Peter got me I snuggle into my bed and grin at the ceiling, Derek is so a werewolf version of Toothless.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	17. Chapter 17

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**17**

Watching a grown man sulk shouldn't be this entertaining, but Peter's hilarious as he comes up with reasons why I shouldn't be going back to the apartment with Isaac, who won some kind of competition to decide what order they all get to spend time with me.

"Peter, enough," Derek growls as we get close to the cars, "You lost the competition, you go last, and you've spent all the after run times with Stiles Stella so far, it's only fair for someone else to have a go."

"Stop worrying," Isaac says, "I promise to take care of Stiles Stella, we'll have a nap, he she will get to shower and either wear whatever clothes he she wants to. I won't let Stiles Stella help in the kitchen too much either when I cook dinner, okay?"

Isaac cooks?

And I should be insulted and say I can protect myself but Peter's pout is adorable and he reluctantly nods before telling me, "If you need anything, anything at all…"

"I'll call you," I tell him and he looks like his favourite toy just got taken away from him as I climb into the driver's seat of my jeep and pull away to go the Pack apartment.

Waiting until we're out of ear shot I ask, "Has he been like that all night?"

"Worse actually, Derek had to threaten to gag him and tie him up in the old Hale house before he'd go to bed and even then he muttered most of the night," They did some kind of game after I went home last night on Skype, and Isaac won, I'm the prize, I should be offended but I'm kinda flattered that anyone even wanted to win me, though it's more winning time with me.

I'm stronger than I was when I first went on runs with them, the increased exercise I've been doing, coupled with the right diet, means I can walk into the apartment and not just collapse. Instead I drink water and snack on a few pieces of fruit Peter prepared for me before I follow Isaac to his room and we settle down for a nap.

Isaac lays down with his back to me and all the wolves, even Derek, are looking forward to me spooning them. Peter's just shorter than me so it worked out okay, but Isaac is taller than me and my face squishes into his shoulder blades. He takes a deep breath and then he's fast asleep while I'm still figuring out what to do with the arm that isn't wrapped over his side, seriously what do you do with that arm?

With Peter I just shove it under him and it slides under his neck. Isaac's too long in his body so I ruck it up and lay my head on it, it's not that comfortable but it'll do for now until I can research a better solution. Closing my eyes I slip into sleep as the sensation of being safe and wanted washes over me.

Waking up I can't feel the arm under me, it's gone dead. My other hand is warm and someone's running their fingers over the back of it. Mumbling I wiggle closer to the warmth in front of me, except I know something's wrong, it's not Peter, it's too tall to be Peter.

Isaac.

"Hey," Isaac's voice is soft.

"Hey," I murmur back and tighten my arm around him for a second. "Sleep well?"

"Actually yes, I was kinda nervous at first, but I see what they mean about you and being the Pack human," He wiggles around and we're suddenly face to face. "They said you'd become an anchor for us, we'd have our original anchor, which is our main one, but you'd soon add to it giving us extra protection and help in controlling our other side."

"Really?" I'm good enough to be an anchor?

"Yeah, I can pick your heartbeat out from a classroom of kids now, if I start getting upset or stressed I try and listen for it," And that's something that Scott does to keep calm, he's told me numerous times how Allison's done that for him in the past. "And this full moon Derek wants to ask to borrow some of your clothes, the scent will help Erika and Boyd with their control, their main anchors don't hold that well yet."

Huh.

"You must have noticed that Erika's been calmer since she latched onto you, Boyd grumbles that it's not fair he can't do the same," Isaac yawns, "You're surprisingly relaxing to be around, you talk all the time, but it's so soothing," his head moves and he rests it on my chest as he wraps himself around me. "You know you're funny too, and helpful, and smart," He noses at my chest and I flop onto my back, it just makes him snuggle closer to me, "So very comfy," and his eyes are closed as his breathing deepens, that same wash of safe and wanted hits me and I blink because I think it's coming from him.

As I'm no longer laying on my arm it starts to come back to live and I lay there as pins and needles fill my arm. I squeeze my hand a few times and stretch my arm not really wanting to wake Isaac up, startling a werewolf into wakefulness probably isn't the best course of action, they have claws. Besides he's fucking adorable right now.

Clicking a picture of him fast asleep with my phone, I move the picture to an online album I've been making, and I lock it behind a password.

I'm never going to be able to lay here for any length of time so I make the most of me being half asleep to think about what he's said. I'm acting as some kind of additional anchor for the werewolves, and if I compare how Scott is with Allison and Jackson with Lydia I might have similar calming abilities.

Erika has been calming down recently, she's still a strong powerful woman who stalks the halls of the school like she owns them, which she kind of does with the way the others get out of her path. There used to be the odd claw accident with her but that's stopped happening. She seems happier too.

I haven't noticed anything with Boyd but he's been smiling more and he speaks more often too.

An alarm blares out and Isaac stirs, "Urgh, is it really that late already?" He scrubs at his face and rolls off of me to snag his phone and stop the alarm. "Hmm, I have to go and shower and start dinner, chicken's alright isn't it?"

"Chicken is awesome," and I watch in amusement at how uncoordinated this creature of the night is when he first wakes up, he stumbles off the bed and stretches. "I'll go use Peter's shower while you use yours."

"'Kay, oh and Peter's been searching the goodwill shops, he said something about not wanting to make you uncomfortable with always buying you stuff, he left you a new outfit on his bed, if you feel like being Stella today," scratching at his belly Isaac ambles towards the door I know his shower is located behind.

Scampering off of Isaac's bed with more grace than him, I hurry to Peter's room and sure enough there are new clothes laid out on his bed. The dress is in dark blue, and he's posed it with the base of the dress all flared out to show the bottom panels and there are some smaller panels at the bottom, they're black and the material is shiny. Stepping closer to examine them I can see there are non-shiny flowers on the black material, I'm guessing that if I twirl the base of the dress will flare out like they do on TV and I'll have a floaty dress.

He's also bought me new underwear to match the dress, the blue is so close to the dress I'm surprised that's even possible without using dye. Oh and he's got me long stripy socks in blue and black.

Carefully I take the dress and other pieces and put them in the bathroom, then I lock myself in and get to work. His shower is absolutely amazing, it's like standing in a waterfall.

Patting myself dry I gaze hungrily at the new dress and keep my grabby hands to myself. I try on the underwear and it fits as well as the last set, which is really, really well. Studying myself in the mirror I can see that my body may be sculptured like a guy's body, but the underwear does something to make me feel more feminine and it comes across in my reflection.

Pulling on the dress I hook the hanger in the zip and do the back up. I vividly remember what it was like to wear my first dress and this is nothing like it. Oh it's a plain colour and the fit isn't that different but it is different, it fits me like it was made for me, I wonder if Peter made this or tailored it for me. The long blue sleeves go right down to my wrists, the shoulders fit but also soften me somehow, the chest isn't low and is very modest but my new breasts, or breast inserts, change the shape and hint at my femininity. The waist is straight down and I feel a bit naked without something like a belt there. My hips aren't that spectacular but then the dress flairs out and pulls my eyes away to stare at the shocking peeks of black that shimmer in the light.

On go the socks and I check it out in the mirror. The dress stops a little bit above my ankles so I can't see the long socks that come up over my knees, I can only see the feet part of my new stripy black and blue socks. They're seriously comfy and I flit out of the bathroom to go and find my wig.

Peter beat me to this as well, everything is laid out ready for me and he's put the wig up. All the hair is gathered at the back in some kind of bun, and he's roped blue beads around it. A few strands of hair hang down and they should look like rats' tails but instead they look elegant.

Remembering everything I've been taught about wigs I take my time to put it on properly. Standing back I gather myself and step in front of his mirror and staring back at me is Stella.

Twirling on the spot I get to see the dress flair out and float in the air. I can't spin too much I'll fall over and I try hard to burn this memory into my head, I never want to forget it.

Walking into the main apartment I find Isaac in the kitchen. The oven is on and he's standing at the sink peeling the vegetables. He stops and peers over his shoulder at me then grins, "Well hello beautiful."

Flushing at his words I'm not sure that to say other than, "Thank you, I think I like this dress even more than the last ensemble Peter put together for me."

Shrugging Isaac goes back to the vegetables, "Oh I like both, you're pretty enough you can wear anything and make it work."

Now I'm flustered and I sort of hover there, he laughs, "Oh Stella, you're cute when you do that, Stiles rarely blushes but then I guess I don't call you pretty when you're male. Sorry man, guys are not my thing, hot babes are," he brandishes the peeler at me, "And if any guy tries anything with you, you tell me and we'll happily break him into little pieces for you."

"Mr Lahey," Oh my god, I think Isaac just went all big brother on me and is threatening to beat up any boyfriend I might have.

"What? I don't care who it is, they're going to treat you with respect. Erika can mostly take care of herself and she'd probably rip people apart if they disrespected her, or upset her. I'm so not ready for anything. Boyd is only interested in Erika," I did not know that and I pull out one of the stools to perch on it. "Derek is Derek and doesn't seem to realise he can date, I don't want to know about Peter, and then there's you."

"What about me Isaac?" I'm curious and sit there with my ankles crossed and my hands folded in my lap.

"You are extra special," and he doesn't have that tone in his voice that suggests you're crazy rather than 'special', "And they had better realise that before they get to date you. From everything I've seen, especially your long term Lydia Martin crush, you're a one individual at a time person. I may have let you fool me with your Stiles front but you're a marshmallow really, otherwise you wouldn't have gone out of your way to try and save any of us at any time.

"So I'm returning the favour, I'll rip apart anyone that hurts you, okay?" He dumps the potatoes in the pot and moves to turn the heat on. "Male or female or other, they break your heart, I'll break them."

As Stiles I'd be kicking off and as Stella I'm in a similar frame of mood because I can take care of myself but I tell him, "Thank you Isaac, that's very kind of you to offer, but I believe that should the person I date hurt me, I'll be sure to take my own vengeance where it's warranted."

"Good," he carries on with getting the carrots ready.

"Do you need any help with dinner? I'm not that good in the kitchen but I can do some simple jobs," I offer.

"Nah, I'm good," He flashes me a boyish grin, "I've found I prefer to be alone when I'm cooking, Peter keeps trying to interfere and it drives me nuts, even Derek occasionally tries to tell me what to do here and then slopes off to leave me alone."

"Oh, would you prefer if I vacated this area?" I slide from the stool and smooth the back of my dress down.

"No, I don't mind company, I just hate being told what to do when I'm cooking," He waves me back to my seat and I hop back up on the stall.

We chat about school and Lacrosse, then I discover he likes Mario Kart and we talk tactics and silly things that have happened when we've played. By the time the others turn up he's ready to put the rest of the vegetables onto cook and gives them a tight deadline to hit for dinner. The panic on Peter, Derek and Erika's faces are funny as they dash for the three bathrooms leaving Boyd standing there.

To stop myself giggling at Boyd I go and set the table while he grumbles about the others and how long they take in the shower.

Pouring the juice into glasses I get to see Derek step out fresh as a daisy and offer his room to Boyd to use. Leaning against a wall he watches Isaac dish up our dinner, "We took the path out north, everything smells right, no new signs of anything, Beacon Hills might be quietening down for a few weeks at least."

"That's great," Isaac's straining the veg, "We can go to the cinema more, I've heard there's supposed to be a How to Train Your Dragon 2 coming up, we can watch your alter ego fly around on screen some more," he laughs as Derek mock growls at him and I giggle at Derek's expression.

Rolling his eyes at us Derek doesn't say anything but his mouth is twitching.

Peter chooses that moment to wander out in sprayed on black jeans and a deep green long sleeve t-shirt. He still manages to look like he stepped out of a magazine. Sauntering over to me he gets me to twirl and nods, "I modified it slightly, added in the black panels, tucked here, let out there, and as ever you look magnificent in it."

"Thank you Peter, the dress is amazing," I pause, "Isaac mentioned you were perusing Goodwill?"

"Yes, you've been reluctant to take my gifts, so I thought if you knew how little the base costs were, you'd be more amenable to accepting these paltry offerings. And may I say my dear Miss Stilinski, the very tiny effort I have put into this simple dress is repaid tenfold with seeing how you grace it with your beauty," I blush so hard I can feel the heat threaten to fry my brain and he laughs coming closer, "I didn't mean to embarrass you, now why don't you tell me all about how young Isaac has been entertaining you?"

He holds his hand out to me and I take it and let him begin to lead me to the table. Derek's rolling his eyes at his uncle and Isaac's grinning like he's amused.

"Well Mr Lahey has kindly kept me entertained as he made us dinner by discussing school, Lacrosse, and then we chanced upon a mutual admiration of Mario Kart. He sounds quite skilled in the game and I relish the chance to compete against him at some point in the future," I sit down when Peter pulls my chair out for me.

"Mario Kart?" Peter enquires and we get interrupted by the others coming out of their respective bathrooms, with the new information Isaac's given me I get to see Boyd's eyes linger a little too long on Erika, and then Isaac's carrying our plates over.

Dinner is awesome, the chicken pieces are so tender they melts in my mouth, the veg are perfectly cooked and I can't help telling him, "Isaac, this is truly amazing, thank you so much for cooking it, you are incredibly talented."

That triggers a round of everyone complimenting Isaac and he might be embarrassed but he looks pleased too.

Erika and Boyd have to wash up and Isaac gets to pick the next thing to watch, he decides to stick with Buffy, "We've already started it, we may as well keep going and finish it. Plus Willow is seriously cute."

When we all sit down I get worried that the socks will get in the way but no one says anything and I get sucked into the story line.

Reluctantly I get up at the end to go and change my clothes, the swish of the dress accompanies me and I really don't want to take it off. I stand in front of the mirror for far too long and then I do give in and take the wig off.

Back in boy clothes, I bumble into the living room to find Erika and Boyd both getting ready to go home too, they look as enthused as I feel. The drive home is boring, the empty house a bit depressing as I lock up and go to my room to stay caught up on all my courses. I may have been a bit over eager with all the extra stuff I decided to do. If I could guarantee life could be this good I'd just complete these and then stick to my normal classes with only a little bit extra thrown in. This way I could stay longer in Beacon Hills with my Pack.

Strangely I like being in Derek Pack and yes I can admit to being shallow because of the clothes, and god do I enjoy dressing up, but it's the way they don't question me, they just accept me. They're not sure what pronouns to use around me and I don't know what pronouns feel right for me yet, so they use both, and they use both of my names. They don't laugh at me for the way I speak when I'm Stella, or how I ramble as Stiles. And then they fight over who spends time with me like I'm a good thing. Some of their attitudes like Isaac wanting to beat people up for me is annoying, I can take care of myself but then it's also nice because he cares enough to want to do that, not that I'm going to encourage him.

Saving my work I stretch and eye up my bed, time for sleep and then school tomorrow. I hum happily and get to my feet as my phone rings, it's dad.

"Hey dad," Oh god please let him be okay.

"Stiles," He barks it down the phone and I wonder what I've done wrong, "Hurry, write this address down and get there now, don't stop for anyone, and for god's sake protect her from him."

Scrambling for paper I scribble the address down I know exactly where it is and then he's saying, "Break whatever traffic laws you need to, do it safely and get her out of there, I can't believe that bastard is back in town, hurry Stiles, I daren't trust anyone else with this."

"I'm on it dad," I promise and the line goes dead.

Mind whirling with questions I pull on my sneakers and run for the door, whatever this is dad's upset and he's trusting me with it.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

Sorry I attached the wrong chapter, have reloaded with the right one, thank you anneryn7 for telling me :)


	18. Chapter 18

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**18**

Luckily the address dad gave me isn't that far away and I don't have to break any traffic laws to get there. A very familiar looking car is parked on the side of the road and from the limited lights around it I think there's steam coming from the front, guess the McCall car finally gave up the ghost.

The tow truck is already there and I frown because I can see the guy is getting ready to winch the car onto the back, and Mrs McCall is standing off to one side, but she's not alone. It's also not Scott standing there with her.

Mindful of dad and how he wanted me to protect her I park up and slide out of my jeep calling out her name and waving, "Hey Mrs McCall!"

She's a nurse, and she's doctored so many of my spills and falls with so much calm down the years that when she spins on the spot and jogs towards me I'm shocked at how afraid and spooked she looks right now, "Stiles?"

"Hey, so dad rang me, and your chariot awaits," I point to my jeep as I watch the man she was standing with walk towards us, there's something about him, and then I realise its Scott's dad.

Oh crap, not him.

"So," I try and usher her to the passenger door as fast as I can, "Your car died huh, where do you need a lift to? Work? Home? Somewhere on another planet far, far away?"

"Not work or home," She's holding it together but I remember when Agent McCall left for good how Scott got to stay at ours for nearly a month and how Mrs McCall was in the hospital for nearly a week.

"Cool," I open the door for her and mimic Peter when I hold a hand out for her, she lets me help her in and that shakes me, she so independent, so strong, and I go extra protective. Closing the door for her I whisper, "Lock it," before it shuts, the click of the lock is covered by my bumbling and I turn to see Scott's dad just feet away. "Oh, hey Agent McCall, bye."

As calmly as I can fake it, I walk around my jeep and climb in, I close my door and lock it. Then I drive us away and Scott's dad watches us the whole time. I start navigating to go back home but then pull over and tap my fingers on the steering wheel, "He probably knows where I live, he did pick up Scott from there a few times."

"Sorry," Mrs McCall says, "I was out looking for Scott, he's supposed to be grounded but flitted out the window to go and see Allison," Big surprise that he'd do something stupid like that, "I didn't even know his dad was in town until I bumped into him at big cinema complex, at least I thought I bumped into him, until I saw the same lights following me and the car started making noises," her breathing is speeding up. "I stayed locked in the car and the tow truck turned up. Rafe just flashed his badge and talked the guy into me going with him, it didn't matter what I said, and I couldn't get a cab…"

"Hey, hey, breathe, you're okay, you're safe…" And I get an idea, safe. "I have somewhere for us both to go, somewhere he won't know where to find us."

Not thinking it through too much I dial Derek's number and he answers on the third ring, "Hey it's me, can I stay the night please? Something came up and Scott's mom is with me too. Oh and is there anywhere I can park the jeep that you can't see it easily from the road?"

"Yes, we have extra parking around back, plus I still have the frost sheet for the Camaro," He doesn't even hesitate, "Tell us more when you get here," the line goes dead and what is it with guys in my life and not saying goodbye?

Texting dad the words 'Mission Accomplished' I drive straight to Derek's while watching for any taillights, hopefully Agent Dickface thinks I'm going home and he'll wait for us there. Pulling up at Derek's I see Isaac waving and follow him around the back of the building, there really is more parking here and Derek's holding something in his arms.

Getting out I hurry around to Mrs McCall's side and she's out of the jeep before I can do anything to help. She's staring at Derek, "Hello Derek."

"Mrs McCall," he nods to her and does his normal Derek over the top talking, which means he doesn't say anything. He and Isaac cover my jeep and the cover really doesn't fit but it does hide enough that if you were looking for a bright blue jeep you wouldn't notice it at first.

We ride the elevator up in silence and I hover near Mrs McCall the whole time and babble, "And the showers here are awesome, the TV is cool, the kitchen has pretty much everything you'll ever need. It's warm and you'll be sleeping um, where are we sleeping?" I eye the guys up.

"My room," Derek joins in the conversation, "I'll take the couch, it's long and comfortable. Stiles is in with Isaac, he doesn't mind sharing. I don't have anything on tomorrow so I'm free to be your chauffeur for the day, I don't know how far the garage your car is being towed to is."

"Wow," I act enthused when she doesn't say anything, "That covers pretty much everything and dad will be here when he can," I babble as we walk into the apartment and Mrs McCall stops dead in her tracks when she spots Peter standing by the couch stuffing a pillow into a pillow case. "Err, you remember Peter, right?"

The same Peter who Bit her son, then tried to take her on a date so he could Bite her and get to Scott. Who many have made comments about how gorgeous she is to Scott's face.

"I remember him," She stands a bit taller, "I thought he was dead."

"I get that a lot," He barely pauses as he carries on making Derek's bed for him. "Stiles didn't give a lot of detail but the fact he didn't take you home and instead brought you here means you're both hiding from someone." Tilting his head at us he asks, "So who is it?"

Crossing her arms Mrs McCall glares at him and this isn't going to go well so I shuffle forward, "Scott's dad is back in town, he can't be allowed near Mrs McCall." I really hope they can all work out what I'm not saying, they all nod.

"Fine, in that case Peter will be with us tomorrow too, he understands cars so he won't let the garage cheat you and an extra pair of eyes is always useful to spot danger," Derek says and starts taking his jacket off and undoing his boots. "Stiles please show Mrs McCall around so she knows where everything is. I'll grab a few things from my room and then I won't need to go in there again for a while."

"Okay," I wave to the whole open plan thing and point things out, then I point to the doors and let her know what is where, "And that's Derek's room, as far as I know it has its own shower and toilet," I ramble on and then my phone rings, it's dad's number, "Hey dad," I don't bother trying for any privacy, I'm in an apartment surrounded by werewolves.

"Are you both safe?" I can hear sirens in the background so I know he's in the middle of something.

"Yep, safe as houses, we're staying with the people I go running with," I'm probably being paranoid but I take precautions because I really don't want Agent McCall to find us.

"Good, stay there, I'm at a crash scene right now, but if he turns up, call me, I'll delegate. Feel free to not go home until I can get there, and yes that includes skipping school. Good job Stiles, I knew you could do it. Can I talk to Melissa please?" Wow, he's serious if he's going to let me skip school. Handing my phone over I stand a bit uselessly and eavesdrop to this side of the conversation and fight the surge of happiness at dad praising me for something.

"Hi John," Melissa also doesn't try to get any privacy, "Yes Stiles turned up just in time," she gives me a quick smile, "Yes, Derek's giving up his room for me and Stiles is bunking in with Isaac," she pauses, "No, sorry I didn't think, I'll get that changed. Okay, just take care of yourself and don't hurry, we're safe here, see you soon." Clicking off the cell phone she hands it back. "He said when the accident is cleaned up he'll come over. He's also spoken to Chris, and Allison is missing from her room, so wherever Scott is he's with Allison, again," she scrubs at her face. "God it was so much easier when he was just running off with you Stiles, you were easier to keep tabs on and at least the pair of you would answer your damn phones."

Snorting Peter finishes setting up the blankets, "So he's still cleaving to the Argent bitch? Interesting that he hasn't noticed his overwhelming obsession with her and how unhealthy it is."

He gets Mrs McCall's most pissed off look and doesn't flinch, brave man, she folds her arms and I take a step back, well I might take about four steps back. "Says the man that Bit my son against his will."

Shrugging Peter fluffs one of Derek's pillows, "Yes, sorry about that, but the Bite is a gift, if used wisely, for example curing his asthma, making him a star athlete, and now he has the girl." Dropping the pillow Peter saunters towards Mrs McCall and I take a few steps forwards ready to protect her. "Your son is annoying and blandly moral, something that today's youth rarely bothers with. He helped to hunt down and kill me. He stopped a kanima from slaughtering the town. He prevented Gerard Argent from turning with a very clever use of backstabbing treachery that surprised and impressed even me. So while I was insane I did Bite one of the few teenagers in this town that could not only survive the Bite but benefitted from it. I can't take it back, I can never take it back, but I am glad he and the ragtag bunch did stop me, because I would never have been capable of stopping myself.

"Now, I'll get you and Stiles some clothes, you're both closer in size to me, for the night. We have some spare toothbrushes, and you can get some rest until the good Sheriff gets here," he ambles in the direction of his bedroom, "Oh and by the way, Scott may want to shop around for an Alpha before he too goes insane and you have to watch us put him down, or the Argents get the fun job of shooting your son dead."

"What?" Mrs McCall looks shocked.

Glaring at his Uncle's retreating back Derek growls and tries to explain to Mrs McCall about how a Pack is set up. They sit at the dining room table and I join them there as moral support, mostly to Mrs McCall but possibly for Derek as this is more talking than he's used to. The information on how the Alpha asks like the first anchor for any werewolf in the Pack is interesting, Peter never bothered with that for Scott, he wanted him to go feral and attack, but Derek stayed with Isaac, Erika and Boyd where he could, he spent time with them, he kept them in on the full moon. He then goes on to talk about Pack humans and how we're a second anchor for all the werewolves.

Glancing at me Mrs McCall nods her head towards me, "So is that what Stiles is to you? A Pack human?"

Isaac is sitting next to me and nods, "Yeah, I can feel Derek as an anchor and I have my own anchor, that's the strongest one for werewolves, but Stiles just adds to it. Coach was yelling in class the other day and when he walked past me all I could see was my dad, the bad version of him, but Stiles' heartbeat was in the room with me and Stiles was so calm, I latched onto it and I stayed calm too," I didn't know that and I put my arm around Isaac who rests his head on my shoulder.

Drifting over Peter sits down next to Derek and he's brought a tray of warm milk and cookies, "Here, I brought enough for everyone. And yes those are the basics, but if a werewolf doesn't belong to a Pack then that wolf is considered to be Omega, and Omegas will always turn feral, they will go insane, their grip on morality and reality will slip away a little at a time, and then they attack humans."

Biting into a cookie he smiles, "These are really yummy, I'll have to get more, I think they come in different flavours too. Now where were we? Oh yes, little Scotty is clinging to the Argent brat as she is his primary anchor and he's abandoned his original Pack human to make her his Pack human too," It hurts to hear how Scott left me. "Basically he'll fixate more and more on her until nothing else matters and then he'll escalate from warning people away from Allison, to physical attacks to outright murder of anyone he perceives as a threat to the only thing keeping him relatively sane. He'll happily kill friends, family, random passers-by, and then he'll kill Allison and himself. It really won't end well," licking his fingers he asks, "Anyone want more cookies?"

We're all staring at Peter and he stares back, "What?"

Blurting out, "Wait you just said Scott's going to turn into a murderer?" I knew the situation with Scott was serious but I didn't realise how bad it would get.

"Yes, that's why all Omegas are routinely killed by the Hunters, they pretend to wait for the werewolves to kill people but really they tend to just string them up and chop them in half," Derek flinches at that. "Seriously, does no one want another cookie?" No one says anything and he shrugs, "Suit yourselves, I'm having another cookie," getting up he takes the now empty plate to the kitchen and rummages in a cupboard.

Sighing Derek leans his arms on the table, "I can offer a very temporary place in this Pack to both Scott and Jackson, but I won't offer a permanent place to Scott, not after everything that's happened. I know I haven't handled things well, in fact I've probably done all the wrong things, but so has he, I'm trying to learn from my mistakes, badly, and I just can't see him trying at all."

There's a blur as Peter zips up next to Derek, "Nephew, while I can see how being all noble and allowing Scott and Jackson limited Pack placement would stop the wholesale slaughter of the Beacon Hills denizens, have you considered how letting them join, however temporarily would affect the current Pack members and the freedoms they currently enjoy, here, in this nice safe place?" He doesn't look at me, but from the way Isaac tenses next to me, and the way Derek aborts looking at me, I can guess Peter is talking about me.

"Damn," Derek mutters and his fists clench as his glare goes up several notches. That's quite the dilemma he's got, he can refuse Scott and Jackson to keep me safe as Stella but people could die, or he could let Scott and Jackson join for a while and I'd have nowhere safe to be all of me.

The yawn catches me by surprise and Mrs McCall reaches out to rub my back, "Well, we can all sleep on it and talk again in the morning. Oh and Stiles will sleep in with me. I'll take the floor Stiles can have the bed."

Confused I ask, "Why? I'm okay sleeping in Isaac's room, he won't hurt me."

Instead of answering she crosses her arms, "Stiles, don't argue. I've had a really bad shift, Scott is playing me up, he could die and I just want to make sure you're okay, okay?"

When she puts it like that, "Okay, but you should have the bed and I'll sleep on the floor."

She's going to argue about this, I can just tell but Peter clears his throat, "We have some camping gear, the blow up mattress should be more than comfortable for Stiles, or I can use that and sleep in Isaac's room while Stiles has my bed."

Hesitating for a second Mrs McCall shakes her head, "Thank you, that's very generous, but if Stiles doesn't want to use the air mattress I will. I feel better knowing exactly where Stiles is, and I'd prefer Stiles is with me."

"Fair enough," Peter goes off to start making my bed for me and Isaac cleans up the mugs and plates.

"I'm going to try Scott again," Mrs McCall gets her own phone out and walks away to leave another message on his voice mail.

"Stiles Stella?" Derek calls my name softly and I look up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just offered to take in Scott and Jackson, I wasn't thinking, I'm so used to you being all of you that I forgot that not everyone knows. It won't happen again and we'll find a way to anchor Scott and Jackson, and we'll let you be you."

Did he just apologise to me? I nod and add, "Okay and thanks." I get a tired smile in replay.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	19. Chapter 19

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**19**

Tossing and turning on the air mattress I no sooner get comfortable and drop off than I jerk awake again. I'm worrying about my dad, Scott the doofus, and also how to save Scott and allow me somewhere to be Stella.

Rolling over and I sigh and pull the covers up under my chin.

Dozing off I dream about dresses and the way they float up and spin around and around without getting dizzy and tripping over things. The jingle of my phone going wakes me up as the masked man I'm dancing with at the end is about to lift up his mask and his burning blue eyes are boring into mine.

"Dad?" I mumble into the phone.

"I'm downstairs kiddo, can someone let me in? I've left my car next to yours and that was clever, hiding it like that," He sounds tired.

"'Kay, I'll just get up and I'll be right down," I kick my covers off and reach for my socks.

"See you soon," dad says. "And watch out for the stairs."

"Yeah, yeah, I know what I'm doing dad," I grumble, seriously it was one time, "See you in a few minutes," I click the phone off and grunt as I get to my feet.

"Stiles?" Mrs McCall says sleepily and she's been tossing and turning too, Scott still hasn't phoned back. Mr Argent's phoned twice, Allison is ignoring her phone too, and he's moving from anxious to outright panic, it won't be long until we have to coordinate some kind of search grid in case something bad happened to them.

"Dad phoned, he's downstairs, I'm going to let him in," I tell her, "Give me a few minutes and he'll be here too."

"Okay, be careful," she sits up and Peter's shirt is a bit too big for her, while the sweatpants and t-shirt I got from him are a far better fit.

Walking out of Derek's room I'm unsurprised to see Derek already up and pulling on his boots, "Peter said he'd make us something to drink, Isaac is going to make your dad a sandwich, and don't forget to put on a coat, it can get cold out there."

I didn't bring a coat with me so I snag one of Peter's and then Derek and I go and get dad. He's waiting for us with two duffle bags, "Stiles," he drops the bags and drags me into a big hug, "You're okay? He didn't hurt you?"

Oh my god, my dad's hugging me, I throw myself into the hug, "Yeah, I'm good, he never laid a finger on me, he let me drive off with Mrs McCall without any problems."

Fingers tighten on my back and dad nods, "Good, that's good, Jesus kid I shouldn't have sent you in there, but you know what he's like, I only had newer deputies free, he'd have flashed that badge of his and they'd probably have let him take her."

It wouldn't be the first time he's done that. Everyone believes the myth that domestic abuse only happens in crime ridden neighbourhoods, or poor households with alcoholic or drug using men. They never look at the picture perfect families or the ones that have someone from the emergency services in them. They never believe that the people you're supposed to trust and go for help could be abusive.

"She's safe dad, she's safe, I'm safe, we're all safe," I tell him and his arms squeeze me tighter.

"Good, now how about we go inside, I'm tired and if Derek's okay with it, I need to sleep. Tomorrow might be my day off but I still have Scott to hunt down, I take it the little brat is still out somewhere with Allison?" He sighs into my shoulder.

"I'll see if Isaac is okay with sleeping on the couch," Derek says calmly, "Scott's mom hasn't said anything about Scott calling her, and Mr Argent is getting more and more upset about Allison."

"Yeah I would be too if my daughter were missing," Dad's hand moves to pat my shoulder, "Which is stupid because boys can get into as much if not more trouble than girls, they don't see the danger signs coming at them." His arms loosen on me and I reluctantly let him go but he keeps an arm around my shoulder. Looking down at the ground he frowns and then looks at Derek who's picked up the two bags, "Thank you Derek."

"You're welcome sir," Derek is the epitome of polite and we ride the elevator up in silence the weight of my dad's arm on my shoulders is comforting and I lean into him.

Stepping into the apartment I nervously run through the same bits to tell him where everything is, he nods and looks around and then Mrs McCall is hurrying over, "Jon."

"Melissa," I wait for him to move his arm from around me but when Mrs McCall actually hugs him, and my jaw drops at that bit, he pulls me close and we do a three way hug thing. "When you called me to tell me he was there with you…"

"I'm good, Stiles recused me from him, we're both good," She says and I might be standing here with them but they're both leaning into each other. "Jesus Jon, he talked the tow truck driver into letting me go with him."

"I thought he'd try that trick, I knew Stiles wouldn't fall for it," dad's arms tighten, "I've already called in a few favours, they tell me he's been reassigned and it starts tomorrow, somewhere in Texas, it's a permanent posting, it'll make it harder for him to hassle you from there, we should be safe after tonight," I notice he says harder, not impossible. "I still want to wait and have the deputies check out your house first though."

We're still standing there and hugging and it should be weird, but it's not, and this is something I wasn't sure I'd get again so I just go with the flow. I need to not talk and ruin the mood so I'm unsurprised when I realise I'm Stella, now I just need to talk like Stiles so I can hide it from dad and Mrs McCall.

A soft cough interrupts us, it's Peter, "The hot chocolate will be ready soon. And while my clothes fit Stiles and Melissa, I'm afraid you're a bit big in the shoulders, I'm sure my nephew would be happy to donate something from his rather limited wardrobe, I do hope you like boring white, black or grey."

Derek glares at him and I try not to smile, "I'd be happy to let you borrow something, would sweatpants and a t-shirt be okay?"

"That would be perfect thank you," Dad says, "And if you don't mind can I have the couch for my bed, while maybe you could sleep in with Isaac," he frowns, "Or maybe your uncle," that earns dad a bitch look off of Peter.

Isaac volunteers, "Derek can have my bed, I'll just get an air mattress like Stiles and I'll sleep on the floor."

With the sleeping arrangements sorted out, and I notice I'm still in with Melissa, we drink our hot chocolate and dad calls Mr Argent to let him know where he is and it's a bit of a weird conversation, "Yeah I'm here, no I'll be in the living room, it has a good view of the front door. Yeah. No. In with Melissa, no, yes, and you remember the talk? Yeah, that talk, so it's best that way. Call if you see either of the kids, I've got the deputies out looking for them, in the morning they'll start going off the beat and track. Technically you need to wait longer to do missing persons but the way this town's been? The sooner the better. Okay Chris, speak to you soon."

And speaking of soon, I'm soon back on the air mattress and I can't sleep. Dad was checking his gun and eyeing up the front door while I shuffled off to bed. I've seen that in movies, he was putting himself between us and the next thing through that door. Only what comes through that door might not be human and bullets don't work on things that aren't human.

Eventually I do drift off and when I wake up this time it's because someone is knocking on the bedroom door, I roll over and fall the few inches to the ground to flail a bit in shock. Mrs McCall is more with it, "Jon?"

"Hey, Chris just called, Allison's home, literally by minutes, he's used her phone to call Scott, they're all heading over now," Dad tells us and both Mrs McCall and me are getting up wide awake with that news. "I'm sure Scott will beat them here," his voice is dry.

In just a few minutes we're all up and sitting in the living room, dad looks vaguely amused and takes a sip of the coffee he asked Peter to make for all of us, "You know this tastes way better than the crap they serve at work."

"Thank you, I normally abhor instant coffee but it was the quickest," Peter's still nibbling at the pile of cookies he got for himself.

Suddenly all three werewolves' heads jerk and they try and act innocent but it's enough to tell me Scott's here already. Dad glances at them and then says loudly, "Really, I can't thank you enough for letting Melissa, Stiles and me stay here at such short notice. And for making sure Melissa is safe and sound I was really worried about her for a while, knowing she was here took a load off my mind."

Someone knocks on the front door and Derek gets up to go and answer it but dad waves him down. He goes over and I do notice that he has his gun in his hand. He looks through the spy glass and relaxes so I relax. Opening the door dad greets the person with, "Scott."

"Sir," and that's Scott's voice, "Mr Agent said mom was here and that it was urgent?"

"Oh it's very urgent, please do come in," And dad's voice is changing becoming more like it does when he talks to people down at the station, the people on the other side of the interrogation table.

"Thanks," Scott walks in and spots Mrs McCall, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

Normally Mrs McCall is all over Scott but now she sits on the couch and I've never heard her voice be so cold to him before, "Scott, did you bother to read the text messages or voice messages I left you?"

"No," He admits, "I was busy with Allison, I know I shouldn't have gone out, but you don't have to keep messaging me mom, I can take care of myself."

Dad's face closes down, "Scott, that wasn't why your mom was messaging you, oh and by the way your dad is back in town, and he got that close to your mom," he holds his thumb and finger barely nano millimetres apart.

Going pale Scott shakes his head, "Dad's back?"

"Yeah Scott, that was what some of the messages were about, your mom needed you and you just let her to fend for herself," Dad crosses his arms and I can tell he's seriously angry, like throw things angry, his voice hardens and he adds, "You were seriously lucky that Stiles isn't as irresponsible as you've grown to be, because it was Stiles that rescued her and brought her here so they'd both be safe."

"Stiles?" Scott sounds kinda lost and as I'm sitting next to Mrs McCall I'm surprised when her hand lands on my knee keeping me in place, not that I was going to move.

"Yes Scott, Stiles. Stiles drove out all alone and picked me up. Stiles brought me back here, and Stiles hasn't left my side," well the only reason I've not left her side is because she won't let me.

At a loss Scott stands there and stares at me, then his mom, then at dad and back to me. Dad huffs and then says, "This time you'd better have an excuse that doesn't involve the full moon, because this particular stunt isn't something you're getting out of with the usual werewolf bullshit you've been spinning your mom and me."

Werewolf?

What?

Wide eyed I stare at my dad and I know my jaw's dropped open in shock.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	20. Chapter 20

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**20**

"Allison needed me," Scott says and I know I'm rolling my eyes at him while wanting to know how dad knows about werewolves. What is surprising is that my dad is putting his gun away and crossing his arms, while Scott's mom's hand tightens on my leg for a second and when I glance at her she's furious.

"Really?" Dad's voice is too even, too calm. "And how did you she need you Scott? What was so important that you ditched your mom to go and see Allison even though you're grounded?"

"She just, she just needed me," And while Scott is so over the top with his Allison orientated life his voice is off, like he's reading a script.

"Uh-huh, not good enough Scott," Dad isn't buying it, "I need to know the exact reason she needed you so badly you broke your grounding and then left your mom to fend off your dad."

"She needed me," Is all Scott repeats only his eyes are glowing amber like the wolf is just under the surface of his skin. "No one gets how much she needs me. I have to be there for her," there's a touch of desperation there now.

Still floundering at the knowledge that dad knows about werewolves I notice the three other werewolves exchanging significant glances. Paying closer attention to Scott I can see his hair is getting unruly again, his clothes are a little looser, and even though his eyes are gleaming brightly it's more feverish than anything. He's a werewolf and he looks like he's getting sick, that should be impossible, his immune system should heal him from pretty much anything, even wolfsbane if you can get him away from it fast enough.

Other than lacrosse practice I've not really seen Scott for months, and while I've been suffering and barely coping, it seems I've not been the only one. "Dude," I ask him, "Are you sure it's not you that needs Allison?"

"She needs me," Is the only reply I get.

"Crap," Dad mutters and shakes his head, "This isn't good, is it," he states and stares at Derek.

"No," Peter answers him, "We must be getting close to the point where Scott will have to be put down, he's already exhibiting the main signs. You said the Argents are coming over?" And when Dad nods Peter shrugs, "Well in that case Chris can do something useful and put Scott out of his misery."

"What?" Scott's whole face goes full Beta and he growls at Peter.

Unperturbed Peter merely says, "I said Chris could put you out of your misery, this way you won't go to your grave having already murdered your family and friends."

Oh my god. The reality of what Peter and then Derek have been saying about Scott comes crashing down, the boy I grew up with, the boy who's been a brother to me for years is going insane, feral, and he's going to hurt people. Scott the guy who tries to help everyone, who hates killing spiders and tries to save them from his mom, is going to be a remorseless killer.

Luckily we're all saved by the bell as the Argents arrive. We wait in silence and the second dad lets the Argents in Scott is by Allison's side and holding her hand. It's like we don't exist in his world anymore. The only thing that matters to him is Allison.

Allison doesn't seem that upset and she's smiling at Scott but Mr Argent isn't smiling, normally I'd think he was being anit-werewolf like he usually is, but he's also looking at dad and Mrs McCall and they're doing the significant glances thing. There's a whole load of subtext going on without any words.

"Well?" Mr Argent asks.

"Derek told me a few things," Mrs McCall waves at the Alpha werewolf, "Its worse that we thought. Derek can you please tell Jon and Chris what you told me earlier?"

We relocate to the dining room table again, and Peter acts like the perfect host offering drinks to everyone, except the Argents and Scott, until Derek growls at him and then he stomps off to get three more mugs. Somehow the gentle way he puts the mugs down speaks greater volumes than if he'd slammed them in front of them.

Sitting there I have to listen to Derek explain what happens to a werewolf when they don't have an Alpha, again. It hasn't gotten any better since the first time I heard it, and having Scott sit at the table with us brings the whole thing home with a vengeance. We can all see for ourselves how Scott's acting, he's only paying attention to Allison, he's ignoring everything Derek's saying, and suddenly I understand why Peter mentioned having Scott put down, because he can't be far from going completely insane and turning homicidal.

"Jesus," Chris rubs a hand over his face, "I thought he was a fringe member of Derek's Pack, I didn't know he was a full Omega. If I asked him about his Pack he'd say they're doing fine, and I've seen the other teenage wolves around town and they're clearly doing okay."

"No," Peter smirks, "Scott was quite happy to tell Derek to get lost after the kanima incident, and frankly after his little stunt with the backstabbing betrayal, I would have thought you'd have known Derek wouldn't take him back."

Mrs McCall shakes her head, "But he said he was in a Pack, that his Pack was okay, we assumed you'd worked it out." Turning to Scott she asks, "Scott? Who's in your Pack?" And that's a pretty smart question.

"Hmm?" Scott looks up and blinks at us, "Pack? Oh me and Allison mom, you know that, we don't need anyone except each other, just us," his voice is dreamy and unfocused and for the first time I get to see Allison look upset and even a bit afraid of Scott, because she's listening to us, and she's really looking at Scott without the love blinding goggles on.

"Well crap," Dad crosses his arms again, "That's making far too much sense right now. Scott?" He leans forward, "Scott I need to ask you some things, can you answer me kiddo?" And he's no longer openly angry, he's voice is softening and I'm reminded of the time he talked a high as fuck drug addict down so the EMTs could get to the guy.

"Hmm? Sure, what did you need to know?" Scott's staring at a very uncomfortable Allison with that same love sick look on his face, only it's not cute anymore, it's fairly creepy instead.

"Scott, you know we had that big talk last November?" Dad asks him and waits for Scott to nod, "All about werewolves and Packs?" He gets another nod and I really want to know about that now, Scott had no right to tell my dad without running it past me first. "When you said you were in a Pack, did you mean a Pack with just you and Allison in it?" The nods are getting as creepy as his unblinking stares at Allison are. "Okay, thanks Scott, now what about Stiles?" What about me? "You said for Thanksgiving and Christmas that the Pack was going to be together but Stiles wasn't there, why wasn't Stiles there?"

What? Dad didn't want me there, I didn't even know about dad spending Christmas at the McCalls' until the dispatcher told me he was there.

"Stiles isn't Pack," Scott's hand reaches out and he pets Allison's hair and I'm really starting to freak out about him, this is so far beyond what an in love teenager should be like. "I'm not going to let Stiles re-join the Pack until he apologies to Allison, he upset her, no one should upset Allison," a thread of anger enters his voice. "And anyway you've been upset with Stiles and hanging out at ours with mom, you didn't want him around either."

That one hits hard and I flinch even as dad, Mrs McCall and Mr Argent take an indrawn breath, "Aw crap," dad whispers, and I'm getting a very strong suspicion that there's a hell of a lot more going on than I thought there was.

"Scott," Mr Argent says softly like he's worried Scott will spook. "I don't remember Allison telling me that Stiles upset her, in fact she's been upset that Stiles hasn't been around, that he's been avoiding her," She has? "Can you tell me what he did to upset her?"

"He was being stupid," Scott says angrily and his face shifts going halfway to this Beta face. "All he had to do was go down into the basement and get some stuff that Allison wanted put in the garage, but he wouldn't go down there, he kept pretending to get upset and then he yelled at Allison," He growls and looks at me, he's wolfed out fully now and I see Derek and Peter both start to crouch in their seats their own eyes burning brightly. "He said things that upset her and made her think of her mom, she cried," he's snarling and gnashing his teeth, I can see his claws are growing as they begin to put gouges in the table. "No one makes Allison cry, no one, I'll never let them do that to her."

I have less than a second to react and I manage to slip under the table as Scott lunges across the table at me howling for my blood. Scrambling down the other end of the table, I have to crawl over people's feet as they try to get away from Scott's attack, and when I make out I find Isaac waiting for me, the sounds of fighting are coming from behind me.

Isaac wastes no time hauling me out from under the table and pushing me to the far end of the apartment. Mrs McCall is with us and trailing us are dad, Allison and Mr Argent, various weaponry trained on the three werewolves near the table.

Derek and Peter stayed behind to battle Scott. Derek is an Alpha and he's faster and stronger than Scott, but he's not got his claws out, Scott does, and there's blood flying everywhere as the pair of them fight. Peter is circling them and watching, I know he was weak when he came back but I want to scream at him to just help Derek, or Scott, or both.

And then Peter does move.

He darts in fast and his hand is a blur, then Derek and Peter are cradling a too still Scott and there's even more blood pouring out over the floor.

"Scott!" I scream at the same time as Mrs McCall though neither of us move closer we kind of cling to each other and wait.

"Scott," Allison whispers and her dad puts his arm around her while never taking his eyes, or weapon, off the scene unfolding in front of us.

Isaac shudders out a breath, "I can still hear his heart beating, it's slow but it's there," and then Derek's nodding and picking Scott up in his arms.

"He'll live, Peter isn't an Alpha, so the wounds will close soon, he'll be fine, battered but fine," Derek stands up and frowns, "We don't have a lot of time, if I'm going to dominate him and become his Alpha, however temporary, we have to do it while he's too weak to fight back."

"Now's the best time then," Peter's shaking his hand and grimacing at the blood on his fingers, "If he can be bound to the Pack and then allowed to sleep though his healing, it should stabilise his anchors, meaning we might be able to reason with him when he wakes up, that way he won't reject the bond and he has a shot at living out the rest of this life."

"Do it," Mrs McCall's voice is hard, "He's tried it his way and it's not working, if he really can't stand Derek as his Alpha then is there any way we can find him another Alpha when he's no longer like this?"

"Yes," Peter says, "They may not want him, he's been Omega for a while, and our Pack isn't that established, but it's an option."

"Fine, than as his mother I give you permission to become his Alpha until he can decide for himself, and if necessary find a new Alpha for him," Mrs McCall sort of collapses into me, "Now I just have to hope he forgives me for this one day."

It doesn't take long, Derek roars into Scott's face and Scott opens his eyes long enough for them to glow golden. Derek starts to reassure him in a soft voice and takes some of his pain before carrying him into Isaac's room to let him sleep it off.

We converge on the couch and it's a very subdued group of people that sit there and try and deal with the fallout of what the hell just happened. Sitting between dad and Mrs McCall I'm still trying to process the fact that dad knows werewolves are real and he did want to spend time with me at Christmas, mostly I feel numb and my head is swirling like crazy.

Of course it has to be Peter who breaks the silence, "Well that was very dramatic wasn't it."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.


	21. Chapter 21

See Chapter 1 for warnings

* * *

**Stiles Stella Stilinski (Or Finding Out Who You Really Are)**

**21**

No one says anything, we just sort of huddle there. I saw Scott at his worst when he first turned and yeah there were a few hairy moments where he learnt to control his wolfy side, but I've never seen him like he was just now.

I didn't think I'd be able to sleep but as the adrenaline wears off my eyes close and dad's shoulder is so comfy that I drift off with questions circling my head like vultures.

Something wakes me up and I twitch as I open my eyes. I'm confused at first because this is so not my room and then I remember and I find I'm curled up against my dad, Mrs McCall is pressed against my back and this is surreal enough that I wonder if I'm still dreaming. I daren't hope that dad likes me, I daren't read into what happened earlier, I could so easily have misread it because I want it to so very fucking much.

Someone's awake and moving around the kitchen. Twisting slightly I can see Peter puttering around in the kitchen and I think he's making breakfast. Half asleep I watch him messing around and then I can smell pancakes and the sound of a coffee maker is humming in the background.

While we're probably all exhausted, yesterday was a hell of a long day, we all start waking up and Mr Argent curses softly when he checks the time, "Ten in the morning? I need to phone work, and the school." Allison is curled into his side, "Hey sweetheart, can I move to grab my phone please?"

"Sure," she sits up properly, yawns and stretches. She looks over towards Isaac's closed bedroom door and bites her lip.

"He's still asleep," Derek tells her from where he's curled up against the wall, Isaac's head is pillowed on his shoulder, and for the first time I can see him being a kind of father figure. A really bad one, because this is Derek, but a father figure none the less, and that is a fairly scary thought.

Dad moves and grunts, "Did anyone call the school yet?"

"No," Chris says dialling someone, "I'm going to tell them about Allison and how Scott wasn't feeling well."

"Okay," Dad wiggles and gets his own phone, "I'll do Stiles and Isaac then," an arm tightens around me, "I won't be long Stiles," and then he kisses me on the forehead, and I freeze because he kissed me on the freaking forehead, so I might not be reading into anything, it might actually be true.

He stands up and I instantly miss him, not the least because he was warm and then Mrs McCall is stretching behind me and Derek tells her Scott's still sleeping. "Good, he needs sleep, the amount of sneaking around he's been doing to see Allison isn't leaving him a lot of time. Has someone called the school yet?"

Ten minutes later and we're all awake and up, baring Scott, and eating breakfast. Peter did make pancakes and they are awesome. My stomach is in knots but I push past that, I need the food, I have to look normal. I know I'm normal, but I have to look more normal than the other normal people, so no one suspects me of being a different type of normal, and that makes sense to me right now when very little else in my life actually makes any sense.

The adults have all phoned in to the school and the four of us have come down with some mystery bug. Mrs McCall used her nursing skills to convince the school it's probably just a twenty four hour bug and we'll be back tomorrow. It also means we have today to make plans and come up with ideas.

I think I know where this is going to go. It makes sense that Derek will be Scott's Alpha and that Scott will have to spend time here with Derek to cement that bond and claw his way back from Crazytown. The downside of that is me losing a place I can be Stella, I'll have to stick to just boy stuff so Scott doesn't find out about me. It's both not a big deal and a big deal at the same time. I liked having somewhere safe to be all of me.

Bracing myself for the inevitable I wrap my arms around me and wait for the adults to come to the same conclusion and for part of my life to go on hold again.

I'm fairly sure that Derek and Peter will do their best to make sure I can let my Stella side out, after all I'm the pack human, I'm going to be taking naps with them, I can be all of me behind closed and locked doors, so it won't be as bad as it used to be. I won't ever have to hide myself from them.

Dad gets up and rummages around in one of the duffle bags, he's soon back and then a few pill pots are put down. One of them is my Adderall, and the others are his, like his vitamins and the one the doctor gave him. We take our medication in silence and he sips his coffee as I drink my milk.

Clearing his throat dad starts the ball rolling, "Ideas on how we handle this?"

Peter looks up from clearing the plates off the table, "Kill Scott?"

He gets glared at by everyone, "That's the path we take after we've exhausted the other possibilities," Surprisingly comes from Chris, "Though we will have to be prepared for it," is said to Mrs McCall who's mimicking me and wrapping her arms around her middle, the horrifying thing is she nods even though she won't look at Chris. "Melissa," He sighs, "No one wants that, but you saw him, he's worse than we thought, if he goes fully Feral, he will hurt people, even you, even Allison."

"That reasoning doesn't make it easier to accept," Mrs McCall's voice is hard and she's glaring even harder at Mr Argent, "You try and think about killing your child and tell me it's something you'd be able to do."

He grimaces and looks away from her, "I already have had to think about it," my jaw drops at that and I stare at him in shock. "Gerard was able to turn my sister into someone that… That could kill innocent children and not care," A clatter comes from the kitchen, "And he even got to Victoria, he got my wife to try and kill Scott at a rave, a rave she knew Scott would be at trying to stop the Kanima from killing its next victim."

A gasp comes from Allison, "No, she wouldn't," Swinging around Allison points accusingly at Derek, "He Bit her, he Bit her because he was out of control and drunk on power wanting Betas, just like he Bit Isaac, Erika and Boyd."

Hunching his shoulders Derek stares at the table and says nothing though Isaac growls, "Right, he was so out of control when he Bit me that he told me everything first, he gave me days to make up my mind about the Bite, he stayed with me as much as he could."

"Enough," Chris says it quietly but it cuts through the room. "There was a large circle of mountain ash around the rave, who did that?"

"Stiles did," Allison drops me in it and everyone looks at me, "Deaton gave him the mountain ash to trap the Kanima and its Master in the building. We were going to tranquilise Jackson and then get everyone else out of the building so we could find out who the Master was and knock them out too."

Dad nods impressed, "Simple process of elimination plan, remove everyone else and whoever's left was your guy."

"Exactly," Allison agrees, "Only something went wrong, Stiles wasn't able to make the circle, it didn't work," now it's my turn to look at the table, I totally made the circle, the circle I didn't have enough ash to make, the circle I made through believing, the same circle Derek an Alpha werewolf couldn't cross.

Snorting Isaac leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, "Oh Stiles made the circle, we couldn't cross it, none of us could, it was like slamming into a wall. But Stiles broke it when your mom tried to murder your boyfriend and setting it up to look like an asthma attack. Derek couldn't get in to save him until Stiles broke the circle. Boyd was full of the bullets your dad and his bullying thugs riddled him with. I was with Erika and we were struggling to keep Jackson down and out. There was no one else to save Scott, so Derek got Stiles to break the circle and charged in to save him." Putting his hands on the table Isaac half rises out of his chair, "You run straight into a room filled with wolfsbane smoke and get beaten up by an extremely dangerous murderous hunter and you see if you don't bite them in self-defence," Isaac all but yells at Allison.

Peter rejoins us at the table and he looks in control except his eyes are glowing blue, "An entire building? Well done Stiles, very few people can make the circles let alone a big one."

That makes Allison gape at me as I feel dad's arm land gently on my shoulder, in a small voice she asks, "Stiles? Did you really make the circle?"

"Yes," I say it just as quietly and she looks so betrayed I flinch and lean into dad.

"Oh, Scott never said, he just kept changing the subject and then mom," her breath shudders out of her, "Oh god, mom really tried to kill Scott didn't she."

"Yeah sweetheart she really did," and Chris sounds broken. "I don't know how Gerard got to her, but I know he had a hand it in somewhere, he had to remove the experience Matriarch to get his hands on a more malleable, young, and inexperienced Matriarch," he puts his arm over Allison's shoulders mimicking my dad. "At the time we were both too grief stricken over her death to see his manipulations clearly."

"Clever," Peter sits down with his arms crossed, "And people call me a murdering psychopath, at least I only killed people who killed my family in cold blood."

"The janitor?" Melissa snipes at him, "Remind me how he had a hand in killing your family again."

Glaring at her Peter huffs and for a second I could swear he's blushing softly, "I may have had a few control issues as I integrated the Alpha powers, and in my defence I was in a coma for nearly six years, not the best recipe for mental stability."

"Enough," Dad breaks in, "This isn't helping. While I would happily sling Peter into jail for his crimes, I'd also have to do the same to all the Argents, Jackson, and a few others. So I am willing to pretend that we're all happy to be at this table to stop future bloodshed and make sure we all make it out of this alive."

"Fine," Chris sighs, "We're wandering away from the point. How to contain Scott until he either comes back or we have to kill him before he kills everyone else."

"He'll need contact with his Alpha," Peter points out, "Not huge amounts of it, but enough to reinforce the bond, after that it's only time that he needs."

"So how do we manage his bonding time?" Dad asks and that should not be something my dad says, it sounds weird coming from him.

I sit quietly, only my knees and fingers are moving as I listen to them brainstorm and wait for the inevitable. And then Mrs McCall looks at Derek, "What kind of grades did you used to get?"

"A's?" Derek frowns, "How is that relevant?"

Only Mrs McCall is smiling, "Then you just volunteered to be Scott's tutor three times a week. You can come to ours, on the evenings I'm not working, and I'll referee as you teach my son and help him keep his grades up. He's been studying on his own a lot anyway so you only have to sit there, you don't have to do anything."

Twisting his head around Peter eyes up his nephew, "You know that might work. You'll be close to Scott, your scent will start to invade his house so he'll be forced to smell you most of the time, you'll be in a position of power over him, and you don't have to do anything."

Scowling Derek thinks it over, "Would it really be that simple?" He has a point, when does anything in our lives ever go this easily? Especially when it involves Derek and Scott being anywhere close to each other.

Snorting dad chuckles, "You try and keep that kid's butt on a chair when he's supposed to be learning, at least Stiles wants to learn, Scott just daydreams."

"We'll try it," Derek nods, "I can sit there while he studies," and I remember when Derek was hiding from the law in my bedroom, he used to just sit there when I studied, he's really calming to be around.

"Okay, and," Dad's hand squeezes my shoulder, "We should have a weekly update at Melissa's, ALL of us. I think it's time we started talking to each other, and we need to address who's in Derek's pack and who isn't."

"What?" Isaac frowns at dad but none of the parents are looking surprised at dad's little gambit, in fact they look way too relaxed.

Smiling gently at Isaac dad explains, "Well, from what facts I've gathered from Melissa, Chris, and the two kids, most of your problems could have been solved by just damn well talking to each other and not hiding secrets." I flinch a bit because I hid a lot from dad, and his hand pats my shoulder gently. "I spent so long staring at god damn boards of evidence and the relevant pieces where kept from me," oh god I'm a terrible child, that was me I kept the pieces from him to protect him and he knows anyway. "But we'll start small and build up to full disclosure, it won't be easy, most people at that his table have made some huge mistakes and those mistakes have ended up hurting others, so no more of that and we'll all work on that, okay?"

I'm staring at the table and nod to let him know I'm listening so I've no idea what everyone else is doing and then dad asks, "So how do I Melissa and I join the Pack?"

Gaping at my dad I'm fairly sure my head Ping-Pongs from side to side as I stare at him and then an equally stunned Derek and back again. I'm also aware that Chris isn't getting upset and trying to talk them out of it and that Peter looks like someone slapped him, damn his face is funny right now.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for any and all mistakes, I've tried to catch those I could, but I'm only human.

Sorry guys work is so ballistic right now I'm bringing stuff home and I still can't catch up, urgh I'm so far behind on everything right now.


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